this is a tough post...
Member
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Boston
Posts: 710
Originally Posted by IMHomerSimpson
Im just ruining everything.Out of control,sort of.I drank beer tonite,out with the family,as they say I embarrassed them,I think I embarrassed me.I have to goto bed just to save face(which I already lost),again.
We have all been right where you are at Homer, at one time or another, in trying to do this alone.
Homer, I made so many promises that I wouldn't drink, that I got sick of hearing myself.
Homer, the difference between people who are sober in AA and those who are still drinking is a simple one. The ones who are still drinking simply decline to take actions that they do not agree with.
Homer, is your way working for you? If not, I would suggest getting to an AA meeting, and asking for help. There is a solution Homer, but you have to be where the solution is........ at AA meetings.
Don't drink
Get to an AA meeting
Ask for help
Get a sponsor
and just keep coming......no matter what
It was a tough lesson to learn Homer, but I simply couldn't do this alone, and I am so grateful that I do not have to
Keep coming Homer
Patsy
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 390
Hi Patsy,NoMo,Kel and everyone else.I am getting back to reality this morning.The reality is going about a month with great progress then f-ing it up with no good excuse.Maybe if I was told I would die in 24 hours that would be a reasonable excuse,but thats not the case though.I was feeling so good,too good actually that I let irrational thinking get the better of me.Like Music sayed a while back,my over-confidence so soon can be dangerous,he was right.It was a relapse but Im gonna look at it as a another lesson learned.I did not get what I was looking for in those beers either,besides some stupid drunken jokes that were very offending to the people I said them to last night at Outback steakhouse.I turn into a stereo-type drunk now when I drink,I drink fast and drink many,can never stop at say 2 or 3 beers.I become irrigant,way too outspoken,and just look for confrontations with people(I really look around me and just target someone and start talking $hit to them).I cant handle alcohol anymore,not that Im violent,just very rude and only think of me if I drink.Its like I forget people have feelings too.Also noticed I forget almost everything that happens when I drink,blackouts I guess,I cant recall conversations or most of what happened while drinking.Cant wait until my sober happiness comes back which may take a couple days.I guess I need to focus on relapse prevention now,I can stop with no problem but staying stopped is a big issue for me.I have a busy day today so Ill drop by later.Have a nice Thanksgiving everyone. :familydin
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,709
You nailed it there Homer...
I was feeling so good,too good actually that I let irrational thinking get the better of me.
You are your worst enemy in achieving sobriety.
You ought to know that by now.
And I'm going to give you an opinion here that might **** you off.
Ask me if I care...
The anger/agressiveness you display when you're drunk is really what you feel about yourself. You direct it at others in the form of obnoxious jokes, but trust me man, you're angry at you, and you can't stand you.
You need to find the reasons for that my friend.
The beers are only a symptom.
Save a drumstick for me will ya.
I was feeling so good,too good actually that I let irrational thinking get the better of me.
You are your worst enemy in achieving sobriety.
You ought to know that by now.
And I'm going to give you an opinion here that might **** you off.
Ask me if I care...
The anger/agressiveness you display when you're drunk is really what you feel about yourself. You direct it at others in the form of obnoxious jokes, but trust me man, you're angry at you, and you can't stand you.
You need to find the reasons for that my friend.
The beers are only a symptom.
Save a drumstick for me will ya.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Arizona
Posts: 872
Happy Turkey Day Homer...
I always reply to your posts based on stuff that jumps out at me...
In this post, the first thing was that you 'turn into a stereo type drunk when you drink.' For me, I'm a drunk/alcoholic whether I am actively drinking or not. See, I don't have a drinking problem, I have a living/thinking problem, drinking is just a symptom. That's where I need to look at being emotionally and mentally sober, once the beer goes down the hatch, my physical sobriety is gone as well. The real problem of the alcoholic lies in the mind (because of the mental obsession), telling him it's OK to drink, rather than the body, which ensures he cannot drink (because of the physical allergy). That's all in the Big Book in the Doctor's Opinion.
I also saw personality changes and black outs in your post. That was me too. That is very alcoholic drinking.
The last thing that jumped out was your focusing on "relapse prevention." I hate to tell you this, but will-power vs. alcholism is a losing battle. Will power will lose every time. Look at all the folks here. How many times have you read posts from people (me included) who have tried will power to control or quit drinking? Doesn't usually work real well.
No one has any guarantees if you go to AA or another recovery program. I don't know what will happen to my life as I live sober, but I know absolutely what will happen if I pick up and live a life drinking -- it will be the cause of my death -- whether by an accident, f@cked up liver, or suicide.
Have a great Thanksgiving Homer, make your absolute best effort to stay sober today, and give thanks for that.
Ken
In this post, the first thing was that you 'turn into a stereo type drunk when you drink.' For me, I'm a drunk/alcoholic whether I am actively drinking or not. See, I don't have a drinking problem, I have a living/thinking problem, drinking is just a symptom. That's where I need to look at being emotionally and mentally sober, once the beer goes down the hatch, my physical sobriety is gone as well. The real problem of the alcoholic lies in the mind (because of the mental obsession), telling him it's OK to drink, rather than the body, which ensures he cannot drink (because of the physical allergy). That's all in the Big Book in the Doctor's Opinion.
I also saw personality changes and black outs in your post. That was me too. That is very alcoholic drinking.
The last thing that jumped out was your focusing on "relapse prevention." I hate to tell you this, but will-power vs. alcholism is a losing battle. Will power will lose every time. Look at all the folks here. How many times have you read posts from people (me included) who have tried will power to control or quit drinking? Doesn't usually work real well.
No one has any guarantees if you go to AA or another recovery program. I don't know what will happen to my life as I live sober, but I know absolutely what will happen if I pick up and live a life drinking -- it will be the cause of my death -- whether by an accident, f@cked up liver, or suicide.
Have a great Thanksgiving Homer, make your absolute best effort to stay sober today, and give thanks for that.
Ken
Member
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Zion, Illinois
Posts: 3,411
Question...
I believe I've asked this before at this site but I'll ask it again anyway.
Let's just suppose any one of us went to our doctor for our yearly checkup and were told that things weren't looking too good. We were diagnosed with terminal cancer, or maybe AIDS. The doctor said, "that's the bad news! Now here's the good news. If you go to go to 2 to 3, 12 step meetings a week and work these 12 simple steps, your disease will be arrested." How many of you would argue with the doctor? What the hell is the difference if a doctor tells you or another alcoholic tells you and you know you have the symtoms of the disease and you've seen the prognosis work in others?
Homer, you said this: "Maybe if I was told I would die in 24 hours that would be a reasonable excuse,but thats not the case though." What has to happen to you to prove that alcohol will kill you. Alcohol is a depressant drug. It kills people every day. How do you know you're not next? Your ego is still telling you that you're different. You're unique. That's ok for other people but it won't happen to me. How many times Homer, have you seen posts here at this site, containing the obituary of an alcoholic who died drunk? If I were you Homer, I'd drop to my knees and thank whatever it is you believe in that you haven't died.....yet!! Don't kid yourself. If you drink again, you could be dead in 24 hours. You wouldn't be the first and you wouldn't be the last.
Let's just suppose any one of us went to our doctor for our yearly checkup and were told that things weren't looking too good. We were diagnosed with terminal cancer, or maybe AIDS. The doctor said, "that's the bad news! Now here's the good news. If you go to go to 2 to 3, 12 step meetings a week and work these 12 simple steps, your disease will be arrested." How many of you would argue with the doctor? What the hell is the difference if a doctor tells you or another alcoholic tells you and you know you have the symtoms of the disease and you've seen the prognosis work in others?
Homer, you said this: "Maybe if I was told I would die in 24 hours that would be a reasonable excuse,but thats not the case though." What has to happen to you to prove that alcohol will kill you. Alcohol is a depressant drug. It kills people every day. How do you know you're not next? Your ego is still telling you that you're different. You're unique. That's ok for other people but it won't happen to me. How many times Homer, have you seen posts here at this site, containing the obituary of an alcoholic who died drunk? If I were you Homer, I'd drop to my knees and thank whatever it is you believe in that you haven't died.....yet!! Don't kid yourself. If you drink again, you could be dead in 24 hours. You wouldn't be the first and you wouldn't be the last.
Choosing Life
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: London
Posts: 889
Hey Homer/Paddy
Great that you are realising what this is all about. I'm the same as you - I can stop, but staying stopped is the issue. I use AA and all the support it offers. Give it another go, because in time, it will help you in a way you would never think possible.
much love
JC
Great that you are realising what this is all about. I'm the same as you - I can stop, but staying stopped is the issue. I use AA and all the support it offers. Give it another go, because in time, it will help you in a way you would never think possible.
much love
JC
PACKER FAN
Join Date: May 2004
Location: DAGGETT MI
Posts: 14
Hi Homer,
Im Diana. On Vacation At My Daghters. Ive Been Backsliding All Week. I Know How You Feel. Be Kind To Yourself. Its Hard On The Holidays. Just Take A Minute At A Time. Right Now Im Practicing Not Drinkinking Untill After Supper. That Is The Best I Can Do At This Time. At Least Im Not Drinking Beer All Day In Front Of My Grandkids. Good Luck And Have A Good Holiday.
Diana
Im Diana. On Vacation At My Daghters. Ive Been Backsliding All Week. I Know How You Feel. Be Kind To Yourself. Its Hard On The Holidays. Just Take A Minute At A Time. Right Now Im Practicing Not Drinkinking Untill After Supper. That Is The Best I Can Do At This Time. At Least Im Not Drinking Beer All Day In Front Of My Grandkids. Good Luck And Have A Good Holiday.
Diana
1 bite&all resistance crumbles
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: IRELAND
Posts: 2,208
Diana, hang in there, you're doing great!
Homer...it's patently obvious that you don't wish to drink, to hurt your family, yourself, be a slave to alcohol etc. I know that and I believe you 100% What is also patently obvious is that willpower vs alcoholism...there's only one winner, and you (and I and everyone else) has seen that time and time again.
You have to utilise the resources available to you. Simple as that. Re-read what Music is saying. I have noticed that when AA comes up you kind of duck the issue, ie don't mention it...why? Did you have a bad experience? Did you ever try it.
At the moment you're trying to do this on your own and you know yourself how far that's getting you - 30 days was a brilliant achievement, but it's always (in my opinion) going to be fleeting if we're tryna do it by ourselves. It wouldn't be called a baffling cunning disease if sheer willpower could do the trick!
Please share what the stumbling block is and maybe someone here can help you?
Please give it a try.
Love
Cathy
Homer...it's patently obvious that you don't wish to drink, to hurt your family, yourself, be a slave to alcohol etc. I know that and I believe you 100% What is also patently obvious is that willpower vs alcoholism...there's only one winner, and you (and I and everyone else) has seen that time and time again.
You have to utilise the resources available to you. Simple as that. Re-read what Music is saying. I have noticed that when AA comes up you kind of duck the issue, ie don't mention it...why? Did you have a bad experience? Did you ever try it.
At the moment you're trying to do this on your own and you know yourself how far that's getting you - 30 days was a brilliant achievement, but it's always (in my opinion) going to be fleeting if we're tryna do it by ourselves. It wouldn't be called a baffling cunning disease if sheer willpower could do the trick!
Please share what the stumbling block is and maybe someone here can help you?
Please give it a try.
Love
Cathy
Mostly Sunny Skies
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Mountain Top, WV
Posts: 62
Homer/Patrick,
No matter what you might read here, no matter how angry you get when you read it -- keep participating here. As you have been doing, keep telling us, and yourself, the truth.
I think that many of us who have been where you are now, saw it coming for you about two weeks ago. Some said something, some of us didn't. We've all gotten over self confident. We've all thought we could handle just a beer or just a glass of wine. I think most of us have slipped. Many of us have slipped multiple times.
I kept quitting for four years!!! That was three years ago, and I still slip now and then -- but thankfully I now come back to my senses fairly quickly, and usually with far more resolve than before.
Two things happened to me.
One, was what a good friend calls the "AH HA Moment." It is that point when it finally sinks into our thick brains that one drink leads to another, which leads to another . . .
I really don't know why it took me so long to realize this. It all seems so obvious now. I guess I can say that I am fortunate to have an older brother who went through all of this a few years ahead of me. Good or bad, he has been a role model for me from childhood. At this juncture in our lives, I still follow directly in his footsteps. Thankfully, he got help, and he got sober.
Once I finally made all these connections in my mind, I decided that I really could not do it by myself either. As your surround yourself with people like my brother and those of us who gather at this site, you will find that there is a lot more to quitting than just the desire for the will power to quit.
To this day, I truly don't know why I drank the way I did, other than, as the AAer's say - we are powerless over alcohol. I had every opportunity to quit, but it took a long, long time.
AA wasn't for me. Doing it on my own didn't work. I found other help in a 12-week hospital outpatient program -- after my brother found it first.
It doesn't matter how you do it, but I strongly feel that you really need outside help and education.
Yes, I think people can do it on their own if they start to really educate themselves on planning, tracking, triggers, anger control, and a whole bunch of other topics. If I would have known ahead of time what I learned in those 12 weeks, I wouldn't have had to go -- but I didn't know that stuff ahead of time. It is what I learned there that finally helped me.
As another friend says, it wasn't until he was able to "dump all the baggage." For him, some of that education came from AA, but in particular, it came from a 5-day co-dependance program offered at a local hospital after he had been in AA for about a year.
This site, with interaction from people at all stages in their sobriety, continues to re-inforce where I am. Think of this site as a beginning and as continued reinforcement. But, don't think of it as the cure. It is a wonderful resource, but it should be just one of many.
Please come back and ask all the questions you can think of. We are all here to help.
Toivo
P.S.
Here it is Thanksgiving night. We had a great day. I don't remember alcohol even entering my mind during most of the day. But, as I got home to relax this evening, that urge was there. I came here instead. I am having some apple cider and popcorn. The urge has passed.
No matter what you might read here, no matter how angry you get when you read it -- keep participating here. As you have been doing, keep telling us, and yourself, the truth.
I think that many of us who have been where you are now, saw it coming for you about two weeks ago. Some said something, some of us didn't. We've all gotten over self confident. We've all thought we could handle just a beer or just a glass of wine. I think most of us have slipped. Many of us have slipped multiple times.
I kept quitting for four years!!! That was three years ago, and I still slip now and then -- but thankfully I now come back to my senses fairly quickly, and usually with far more resolve than before.
Two things happened to me.
One, was what a good friend calls the "AH HA Moment." It is that point when it finally sinks into our thick brains that one drink leads to another, which leads to another . . .
I really don't know why it took me so long to realize this. It all seems so obvious now. I guess I can say that I am fortunate to have an older brother who went through all of this a few years ahead of me. Good or bad, he has been a role model for me from childhood. At this juncture in our lives, I still follow directly in his footsteps. Thankfully, he got help, and he got sober.
Once I finally made all these connections in my mind, I decided that I really could not do it by myself either. As your surround yourself with people like my brother and those of us who gather at this site, you will find that there is a lot more to quitting than just the desire for the will power to quit.
To this day, I truly don't know why I drank the way I did, other than, as the AAer's say - we are powerless over alcohol. I had every opportunity to quit, but it took a long, long time.
AA wasn't for me. Doing it on my own didn't work. I found other help in a 12-week hospital outpatient program -- after my brother found it first.
It doesn't matter how you do it, but I strongly feel that you really need outside help and education.
Yes, I think people can do it on their own if they start to really educate themselves on planning, tracking, triggers, anger control, and a whole bunch of other topics. If I would have known ahead of time what I learned in those 12 weeks, I wouldn't have had to go -- but I didn't know that stuff ahead of time. It is what I learned there that finally helped me.
As another friend says, it wasn't until he was able to "dump all the baggage." For him, some of that education came from AA, but in particular, it came from a 5-day co-dependance program offered at a local hospital after he had been in AA for about a year.
This site, with interaction from people at all stages in their sobriety, continues to re-inforce where I am. Think of this site as a beginning and as continued reinforcement. But, don't think of it as the cure. It is a wonderful resource, but it should be just one of many.
Please come back and ask all the questions you can think of. We are all here to help.
Toivo
P.S.
Here it is Thanksgiving night. We had a great day. I don't remember alcohol even entering my mind during most of the day. But, as I got home to relax this evening, that urge was there. I came here instead. I am having some apple cider and popcorn. The urge has passed.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 390
I dont even know where to begin.First off I did NOT drink yesterday,second I have been thinking of drinking since I woke this morning.I came here and read some eye opening postings,now I will NOT drink today.All this AA talk is really making me.....consider giving it another chance(only different location).No work today,home alone with the boys so Im trying to think up some activity to keep us all occupied(and possibly have fun too).I feel like Im starting over from scratch,like I made no progress over the last month which gives me a depressing feeling inside.I keep a daily journal,for a year now recording what I ate and drank,smoked,breif "important" life happenings and feelings/ailments.What a year it has been,some people here know quite a bit of my year.So many"last day of drinking" and "tomorrow Ill quit drinking" days I could not keep count."2 days,feel great w/o alcohol"."3 days,feel better than yesterday"."Drank 8 beers,family pissed,feel like $hit"....next 20 days"drank 8-10 beers,etc.".A whole year or two living like this.Its a hurtful reminder of the game Im playing with my mind.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Arizona
Posts: 872
No Progress?
You're kidding, right?
Look at it this way. You could have drunk for 30 days, but for 30 days you were sober. You were happy. People noticed a difference in you. There was a sense of hope.
I'd say the last month was a screaming success, my friend! And great job not drinking yesterday, and starting today off on the right foot.
And thanks for teaching me something. A journal is one of those things I always said I'm going to do... but never happens. Thanks for the kick in the butt, I'll have to go out and get one.
There has to be a ton of AA meetings in your area, check a few out and find one or two you're comfortable with. I know some of the meetings I've been to sucked, but most are pretty great, and I hear what I need to hear.
PM or email me when you have a chance if you have questions or anything on AA.
Great job getting back on track -- just focus on today.
Ken
Look at it this way. You could have drunk for 30 days, but for 30 days you were sober. You were happy. People noticed a difference in you. There was a sense of hope.
I'd say the last month was a screaming success, my friend! And great job not drinking yesterday, and starting today off on the right foot.
And thanks for teaching me something. A journal is one of those things I always said I'm going to do... but never happens. Thanks for the kick in the butt, I'll have to go out and get one.
There has to be a ton of AA meetings in your area, check a few out and find one or two you're comfortable with. I know some of the meetings I've been to sucked, but most are pretty great, and I hear what I need to hear.
PM or email me when you have a chance if you have questions or anything on AA.
Great job getting back on track -- just focus on today.
Ken
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 390
(((KEN))) Whats up,buddy? Its like I dont see much of you anymore.LOL You,have been struggling with the same thing,same situation,same choice of beverage as long as I have.The only thing different is you choose AA.You were one of the people here who may encourage me to try it again(not an AA fan here,folks).I am envious of you,we are like at the same rung of the ladder,only you are doing the slower approach which seems to be the better choice for HEAVY beer drinkers like us.I started off way too fast on getting "sober" last month,I was warned by you and *Music* that I was headed for trouble.You guys were right.Im gonna try something different this time,like...uh..uh..this AA you guys are bragging about.My only encounters with AA have been "not what I expected".I will take the advice but out of the city I live in.How'd that saying go? "I surrender to the monkey"? One day at a time.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 390
O yeah,Soumi,awesome mind you have. I,too,am having a hard time grasping the concept of alcohol is controlling me. I am gonna try an out-patient rehab thing,I have great coverage on my medical plan.I will also try another AA meeting in a different location,more than half were sent there by court at the last meeting I went to.Thats just NOT me.Goody 2-shoes? HELL NO!!! but need people who WANT to change their lives around me.
Old and in the Way
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: High and Dry
Posts: 789
Hey Homie - Glad you're going to try AA again. It hasn't been what I expected at all. I get frustrated with it at times, but I've got no doubt at all that I'm going to drink left to my own devices. It's hard enough as it is without trying to gut it out alone.
You've probably heard this from others, but every meeting is different and it's worth trying a bunch. Some I really like, some I can't stand, and some I just barely tolerate. Nearly all of them help me stay sober though.
You've probably heard this from others, but every meeting is different and it's worth trying a bunch. Some I really like, some I can't stand, and some I just barely tolerate. Nearly all of them help me stay sober though.
Paused
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Washington
Posts: 5,093
Give AA another try. You've got the right idea in that. Searching for a group in another location is a great plan. Look for a group of people that are going because they want to, not because they have to. Court appointed AA doesn't cut it. If you can find a good group of people who are hungry for sobriety, you'll do wonderful. There are alot of things I don't like about AA, but go anyway. I've been sober ever since I got serious and started working the steps. I wanted sobriety bad enough, I put my trivial dislikes on the back burner and looked past them. It works if you allow it to. The beneficial results far outweigh my personal dislikes of the program. Just look at where you can be one year from now Homer. Give it a fair shot. It will help you with those crazy games you keep playing in your mind. I promise...
LeAnne
LeAnne
1 bite&all resistance crumbles
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: IRELAND
Posts: 2,208
Hi Homer
How are you doing? Thinking of you and hope you can find a meeting that will you will find helpful and that will be of help for you in your journey.
Best of luck, and keep us updated!
Well done!
Cathy
xxx
How are you doing? Thinking of you and hope you can find a meeting that will you will find helpful and that will be of help for you in your journey.
Best of luck, and keep us updated!
Well done!
Cathy
xxx
Mostly Sunny Skies
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Mountain Top, WV
Posts: 62
Homer, Brookie, and others,
This is probably going to be kind of a mixed up post. I just finally sat down at the computer after several long, but extremely enjoyable days. Lots of temptation -- good booze and great wines everywhere!
The week from hell. Been there more than once. Not always as strong as you were. Good work!
On this end, it was some ginger ale and ice. Ugh! But, the hot mulled cider made from our great West Virginia apples sure was good. Some really great coffee too.
Apparently it can be done..
As I've said in other posts, resetting the dayometer may not be the best way to measure things. I've been sober about 99% of the days for the past three-and-a-half years.
Not a day goes by that I don't think about alcohol. It is especially difficult when coupled with days like Brookie described in another post.
Unfortunately, like so many others, there have been days when I did more than just think about it.
Like the fading ghosts of war and the loss of good friends from 35 years ago, I hope that someday the thoughts will finally pass. But, in the mean time, I try to progressively deal with them every day. Some days are better than others.
It's amazing how different our thoughts are when we are totally relaxed, and especially when we've got our grand kids with us. I can really empathize with postings by Brookie, and Homer, and others over this weekend. Throughout the whole site, there have been some real thought provoking posts in the past few days. I guess it must be because of the start of the holidays. Some days are really better than others.
Homer, I am glad to hear that you are thinking of trying one of the out-patient programs. It can't hurt, and it may save your life.
Whatever program it is, keep trying until you finally find success. I tried three different AA groups. None worked for me, yet I have a great respect for AA. Many of my close friends are AAers.
If you get into an outpatient program, I would hope that yours can be as good as the one I went through. I learned a tremendous amount. So much of it became part of my day-to-day life that I couldn't even begin to list a lot of what we learned. Many of my AA friends, and friends in other 12-step and non-12-step programs, say the same thing about the groups they've been in.
The outpatient program I attended had a number of people sent by the court. Several didn't finish. Some had really bad attitudes. Some were a real inspiration. In any program, there will be some good people who know where they want to be -- and that is being sober. They are the ones to make friends with.
Whatever program you do, try to share your thoughts, and what you learn, with the rest of us.
Good luck in your quest. Don't give up.
Toivo
This is probably going to be kind of a mixed up post. I just finally sat down at the computer after several long, but extremely enjoyable days. Lots of temptation -- good booze and great wines everywhere!
I eat Thanksgiving dinner with my two-year old daughter clinging to my neck because she's either sick, upset by the fight, or both. Wine flows freely around me.
And so ends my first sober Thanksgiving since the mid to late 1980s. Hope all of yours were better, but at least it was sober. Anyway, apparently it can be done.
by Brookie
And so ends my first sober Thanksgiving since the mid to late 1980s. Hope all of yours were better, but at least it was sober. Anyway, apparently it can be done.
by Brookie
On this end, it was some ginger ale and ice. Ugh! But, the hot mulled cider made from our great West Virginia apples sure was good. Some really great coffee too.
Apparently it can be done..
First off I did NOT drink yesterday,second I have been thinking of drinking since I woke this morning.
by IMHomerSimpson
by IMHomerSimpson
Not a day goes by that I don't think about alcohol. It is especially difficult when coupled with days like Brookie described in another post.
Unfortunately, like so many others, there have been days when I did more than just think about it.
Like the fading ghosts of war and the loss of good friends from 35 years ago, I hope that someday the thoughts will finally pass. But, in the mean time, I try to progressively deal with them every day. Some days are better than others.
It's amazing how different our thoughts are when we are totally relaxed, and especially when we've got our grand kids with us. I can really empathize with postings by Brookie, and Homer, and others over this weekend. Throughout the whole site, there have been some real thought provoking posts in the past few days. I guess it must be because of the start of the holidays. Some days are really better than others.
I am gonna try an out-patient rehab thing, I have great coverage on my medical plan. I will also try another AA meeting in a different location, more than half were sent there by court at the last meeting I went to.
by IMHomerSimpson
by IMHomerSimpson
Whatever program it is, keep trying until you finally find success. I tried three different AA groups. None worked for me, yet I have a great respect for AA. Many of my close friends are AAers.
If you get into an outpatient program, I would hope that yours can be as good as the one I went through. I learned a tremendous amount. So much of it became part of my day-to-day life that I couldn't even begin to list a lot of what we learned. Many of my AA friends, and friends in other 12-step and non-12-step programs, say the same thing about the groups they've been in.
Goody 2-shoes? HELL NO!!! but need people who WANT to change their lives around me.
by IMHomerSimpson
by IMHomerSimpson
Whatever program you do, try to share your thoughts, and what you learn, with the rest of us.
Good luck in your quest. Don't give up.
Toivo
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 390
Hey guys,sorry I have not been my regular posting self.Been busy staying sober.I been having some tough non-drinking related days lately.I want my pink cloud back.Oh well,Ill just have to settle for what I have.I work with a family member whos just a d-head,a drunk in denial,who claims I preach because I am stopping my drinking.I absolutely dont preach,it just bothers him when I come to work and say I feel good,is that so bad? I feel like hes trying to sabotage my quit.Actually I know he is and that crap pisses me off but wont lead me back.Im probably gonna end up knocking him on his ass though if he dont let me be,and I dont like violence.Time to cook dinner now so Ill see ya guys/gals later. 
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