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Old 07-06-2019, 04:24 PM   #1 (permalink)
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How did you feel?


This is really a question for anyone who has made a meaningful fist of recovery. Anyone prepared to study my post history, going back a decade or more, will note that I have a serious problem that Iíve sinoly failed to tackle.

Iíve tried to Ďmanageí things, but the reality is that Iím papering over the cracks and I acknowledge that as a 34 year old father of two (who I fķcking love to bits) Iím unlikely to see 44.

The reality is though ugh that I just find the prospect of quitting too daunting. In the past two years, Iíd say the longest Iíve gone without a drink is four days. Without a drink in me I could barely walk, barely talk. Everything was a massive strain. I felt incredibly ill, until I had a few beers and everything was right again.

I know now that I need to stop completely for my familyís sake, but Iím fearful of the way I felt with just a short period of abstinence previously.

How did you feel when quitting and how long did it take until you felt Ďnormalí!? How long do I need to suck it up before the pain and discomfort stops?
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Old 07-06-2019, 05:02 PM   #2 (permalink)
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In the past two years, Iíd say the longest Iíve gone without a drink is four days. Without a drink in me I could barely walk, barely talk. Everything was a massive strain. I felt incredibly ill, until I had a few beers and everything was right again.

JPA, im only gonna reply to this part,which might answer a bit.
what i think you experienced there was physical withdrawl symptoms. from what it reads, the stage of alcoholism youre at is going to require WAY more than 4 days to notice ANY changes. this isnt something putting down the drink is gonna produce sunshine,daisies,rainbows, and sparkle fartin unicorns in a few days or a week. its going to require time and i personally think you should look into detox/rehab to safely stop. youre worth it.
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Old 07-06-2019, 06:05 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Tom Steve is tight in that you have to expect aa not great period. We drank for years - our minds and bodies are used to drinking...thats not going to be fixed in a few days or a week.

My first 30 days were the worst I've ever felt ever - but it got better day by day week by week

You can't avoid withdrawal - but every year you put it off the worse it might be?

D
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Old 07-06-2019, 06:59 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I know now that I need to stop completely for my familyís sake, but Iím fearful of the way I felt with just a short period of abstinence previously.
You need a medically supervised detox...not at home with meds, but in a supervised rehabilitation setting, where you can't get any alcohol. Period.

Once past the physical symptoms, you can start a structured program of recovery.
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Old 07-06-2019, 07:11 PM   #5 (permalink)
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I was a quit or die case, finally heard it when the liver dr gave me a yr, 18 mo. I was 39.

I had vodka in me in some amount about 24/7 by that time.

I was DONE drinking and quit cold turkey. Not giving medical advice, just sharing that I viewed it as there could be absolutely no more alcohol in my body and basically I'd take uncertain chances on quitting that way over a certain death by drinking.

I was sick for a long time. To diff degrees and all over the place in severity.

Each of us goes thru something different and the idea of quitting was TERRIFYING. I had no idea how I would live (literally) without alcohol.

We can't tell you when you will be normal - though there are similarities in many cases - and ALL of us need time to stabilize, then feel better, then find our normal.

I did see drs in the first weeks and get straightened out on meds. All tests including the scariest, liver panels, and so on.

I'm about to turn 43 in Aug, sober. It's the best thing I've ever done.

Hope you make the choice- I think it does take a leap of faith that there HAS to be something better than what we are doing. I finally jumped. I have gone thru a lot and I work a very strong recovery program- and it's really just a life program.

I wouldn't trade anything now for anything I had before the alcohol took over, or if I hadn't quit, obviously.
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Old 07-08-2019, 11:34 AM   #6 (permalink)
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I was also a quit or die person; fear has been a major part of my recovery. Even if you don't go to AA, getting a good handle on the first step is a big help: "Admitted we were powerless over alcohol and our lives had become unmanageable". Getting it at a deep gut level that I can't have one drink because when I take that drink I can't stop. It's never too late to stop. If I can go from drinking a magnum of wine every day for a decade to sobriety, anyone can. Big hug!!
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Old 07-08-2019, 11:49 AM   #7 (permalink)
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This is really a question for anyone who has made a meaningful fist of recovery. Anyone prepared to study my post history, going back a decade or more, will note that I have a serious problem that I’ve sinoly failed to tackle.

I’ve tried to ‘manage’ things, but the reality is that I’m papering over the cracks and I acknowledge that as a 34 year old father of two (who I fķcking love to bits) I’m unlikely to see 44.

The reality is though ugh that I just find the prospect of quitting too daunting. In the past two years, I’d say the longest I’ve gone without a drink is four days. Without a drink in me I could barely walk, barely talk. Everything was a massive strain. I felt incredibly ill, until I had a few beers and everything was right again.

I know now that I need to stop completely for my family’s sake, but I’m fearful of the way I felt with just a short period of abstinence previously.

How did you feel when quitting and how long did it take until you felt ‘normal’!? How long do I need to suck it up before the pain and discomfort stops?

For me it was mostly psychological or at least that is the way I interrupted the nagging voice inside my head which wanted/needed a drink.

I pretty much couldn't do anything without a drink. I needed a drink to deal with just about everything.

When I was in my early 20's I could drink like I wanted and bounce back the next day. This all changed as I approached 30. Hangovers would last an entire day. I had the shakes a few times but usually I just felt completely burned out.

Also I learned society is more forgiving when you're young and screw up.

However, after reaching 30 people stop buying your act.

I finally stopped drinking at the age of 35.
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Old 07-08-2019, 12:07 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Hi JPA,

I will complete my 27th month of continuous sobriety in another week. I still consider myself a newbie as I'm putting the finishing touches on building a stable foundation for the rest of my life (40 years old).

How long until I felt normal? I have no idea what normal is supposed to be. On one hand I feel happy, healthy, and sane for the first time in my adult life. On the other hand sobriety still feels new to me. There are times when I feel like an alien transported to earth for the first time and trying to figure my way out.

How long you need to deal with discomfort depends on how much work you're willing to put into sobriety. I was also knocking on death's door before I took my leap of faith into the unknown. After surviving a nightmare of a withdrawal I swore to myself that going through that torture would not have been in vain.

Nothing changes if nothing changes and I was determined to change everything about myself that wasn't working. Old ways of thinking...gone. Old friendships that weren't beneficial to my sobriety...gone. Old habits and routines...gone. Old resentments...gone. It wasn't easy. Any change, even positive change is hard to commit to. But I knew going back to the bottle would be a certain death so I had nothing to lose and everything to gain.

It's hard work that never ends. But I wouldn't have it any other way.
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Old 07-08-2019, 12:21 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Hi JPA,

I will complete my 27th month of continuous sobriety in another week. I still consider myself a newbie as I'm putting the finishing touches on building a stable foundation for the rest of my life (40 years old).

How long until I felt normal? I have no idea what normal is supposed to be. On one hand I feel happy, healthy, and sane for the first time in my adult life. On the other hand sobriety still feels new to me. There are times when I feel like an alien transported to earth for the first time and trying to figure my way out.

How long you need to deal with discomfort depends on how much work you're willing to put into sobriety. I was also knocking on death's door before I took my leap of faith into the unknown. After surviving a nightmare of a withdrawal I swore to myself that going through that torture would not have been in vain.

Nothing changes if nothing changes and I was determined to change everything about myself that wasn't working. Old ways of thinking...gone. Old friendships that weren't beneficial to my sobriety...gone. Old habits and routines...gone. Old resentments...gone. It wasn't easy. Any change, even positive change is hard to commit to. But I knew going back to the bottle would be a certain death so I had nothing to lose and everything to gain.

It's hard work that never ends. But I wouldn't have it any other way.
I had a number of accidents while in a blackout. Falling down stairs was my specialty.

Now, I'm not sure if I continued this would have equal the certain death which I often hear in the rooms of AA.

But I do believe my luck would have run out.

That the next time it might have been more than a few stitches or a broken collar bone.
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Old 07-08-2019, 12:49 PM   #10 (permalink)
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At four days sober you're just barely out of withdrawal. It takes more time than four days to feel 'right' again. I too would suggest a medical detox. I started feeling better at about 3 months sober. It takes a while, but it's worth it.
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Old 07-08-2019, 01:24 PM   #11 (permalink)
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The withdrawal is bad but with medical help you will get through it. Then the tough part starts.
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Old 07-08-2019, 02:05 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Hello and welcome. As you can see you get an awful lot of their story feed back. Me ? I did it the hard headed way. Cold Turkey. Not the wisest choice . but like one stated if your gonna go . go knowing you were doing it for the good of good. Now I'm going to tell you tho. This last sober attempt was a doozy . I'm not a spring chicken 48 so my hangovers were horrible. Shakes.sweats mind all jazzed up. Then for me the wake up point is when I asked my higher power to help me. I believe he knew I was really serious cause he saved me. Real talk. So my gratitude foe him is off the charts . here I am 65 days sober. Never in my life have I ever been able to it. Threw my pride out the window. And just asked for guidance. Best decision you will ever make I promise you
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Old 07-08-2019, 02:25 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Hello and welcome. As you can see you get an awful lot of their story feed back. Me ? I did it the hard headed way. Cold Turkey. Not the wisest choice . but like one stated if your gonna go . go knowing you were doing it for the good of good. Now I'm going to tell you tho. This last sober attempt was a doozy . I'm not a spring chicken 48 so my hangovers were horrible. Shakes.sweats mind all jazzed up. Then for me the wake up point is when I asked my higher power to help me. I believe he knew I was really serious cause he saved me. Real talk. So my gratitude foe him is off the charts . here I am 65 days sober. Never in my life have I ever been able to it. Threw my pride out the window. And just asked for guidance. Best decision you will ever make I promise you

I go to AA and it's not uncommon see those who are in their 50's and 60's with various lengths of sobriety and ruined lives.

You keep drinking and the problems pile up. And while I am sure they are out there I don't often hear in AA from high bottom alcoholics who got sober late in life,

The usual story line is a string of never ending drama/troubles that cost marriages, jobs, children, time behind bars. The list goes on.

But as long as one is alive there is time to pick up the pieces.
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Old 07-08-2019, 02:33 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Me, God it just got so bad. I was so dependant on alcohol and was just sick and tired of relapsing. I too have kids and even for them I was having a heck of time quiting. It took three years worth of attempts, being hospitalized numerous times and ultimately going through a rehab to finally stop.

The sooner you quit drinking the better.
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Old 07-08-2019, 03:44 PM   #15 (permalink)
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The reality is though ugh that I just find the prospect of quitting too daunting. In the past two years, Iíd say the longest Iíve gone without a drink is four days. Without a drink in me I could barely walk, barely talk. Everything was a massive strain. I felt incredibly ill, until I had a few beers and everything was right again.
This is why addiction kills so many people, and it's why it took me reaching the brink of suicide before I quit. I ended up going to my doctor for help in desperation. There is no real way to totally avoid going though the withdrawal period without experiencing the pain, but if you seek professional help they can help take the edge off of it with a detox program. I did detox, an outpatient treatment program and AA. The detox helped me get through the worst of the physical symptoms of withdrawal, the treatment program helped me formulate a plan to stay sober, and the program (the steps) of AA was that plan.

Here's a passage from Alcoholics Anonymous (pp 151-152) that explains better than anything else I've ever read of how I felt at the end of my drinking. Like you, I also reached the point where I couldn't imagine life without alcohol. But I also reached the point where I couldn't imagine life with alcohol any longer. It was a special place in hell I never wish to be in again.

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The less people tolerated us the more we withdrew from society, from life itself. As we became subject of King Alcohol, shivering denizens of his mad realm, the chilling vapor that is loneliness settled down. It thickened, ever becoming blacker. Some of us sought out sordid places, hoping to find understanding companionship and approval. Momentarily we didóthen would come oblivion and the awful awakening to face the hideous Four HorsemenóTerror, Bewilderment, Frustration, Despair. Unhappy drinkers who read this page will understand!

Now and then a serious drinker, being dry at the moment says, "I don't miss it at all. Feel better. Work better. Having a better time." As ex-problem drinkers, we smile at such a sally. We know our friend is like a boy whistling in the dark to keep up his spirits. He fools himself. Inwardly he would give anything to take half a dozen drinks and get away with them. He will presently try the old game again, for he isn't happy about his sobriety. He cannot picture life without alcohol. Some day he will be unable to imagine life either with alcohol or without it. Then he will know loneliness such as few do. He will be at the jumping-off place. He will wish for the end
After 6+ years of sobriety I still get chills whenever I read this passage at it's uncanny accuracy in explaining exactly how I felt in the last days of my drinking.
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Old 07-08-2019, 05:14 PM   #16 (permalink)
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How are you doing JPA?
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Old 07-09-2019, 06:05 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Hi I'm your age, in my 11th week of sobriety - in itself unthinkable well, 11 or so weeks ago... I found to make a fist of it this time I've had to pretty much get obsessed with recovery after the withdrawals were done with. A drink-related obsession to help my drinking obsession, if you will. If you have access to recovery support networks in your area use them and talk to people, who you will find are just like you. And one useful thing that I have so far found to be true was hearing that 'the first week is easier than the first day, the first month is easier than the first week, and the first year is easier than the first month.'

Good luck.
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Old 07-10-2019, 04:00 AM   #18 (permalink)
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k like I wanted and bounce back the next day. This all changed as I approached 30. Hangovers would last an entire day. I had the shakes a few times but usually I just felt completely burned out.

Also I learned society is more forgiving when you're young and screw up.

However, after reaching 30 people stop buying your act.

I finally stopped drinking at the age of 35.
I still look about thirteen, often having been refused drink in shops unless I talk them around, to this day, besides being 35 and having some grey hair. I think that's served me well as to not being arrested or beaten up, I doubt that's gonna last much longer though.
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Old 07-10-2019, 10:56 AM   #19 (permalink)
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I still look about thirteen, often having been refused drink in shops unless I talk them around, to this day, besides being 35 and having some grey hair. I think that's served me well as to not being arrested or beaten up, I doubt that's gonna last much longer though.
Your lucks just runs out. May take some time but it does run out.

Not too long a fellow in his late 60's shared in an AA about never having any problems with the law.

Then his life gets turned upside down. He gets arrested for a DUI and possession of drugs.

He gets hit with a second DUI a few months later and does a stretch in jail.

He's been court order to attend AA meetings and well as mandatory drug testing.
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Old 07-10-2019, 11:24 AM   #20 (permalink)
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Without a drink in me I could barely walk, barely talk. Everything was a massive strain. I felt incredibly ill, until I had a few beers and everything was right again.

I believe this is the typical withdrawal. Pretty much how I felt for about 4 day. It goes for longer in some. Just do some reading on the situation. You will soon learn that these are typical withdrawal symptoms. When you quit you go through this. Then you get better and better. Just read around. You will find tons of posts saying this. You just have to tough it out. Like a ******* man. Best of luck to you.
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