Looking forward to the future
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 9
Looking forward to the future
Not even sure where to start. I set July 1, 2019 as my quit day. The date is insignificant except for the fact that it's easier to remember than July 23rd if that makes sense.
HOW I GOT HERE
I got drunk for the first time when I was 15. My folks were in Hawaii and my grandma was watching me and my younger brother. She was in bed and we got the bright idea that we should try some of dad's booze. The next thing I remember it's the next morning, I'm in bed naked (apparently b/c I pissed myself) and Grandma is on her hands and knees cleaning up my puke. Not a proud moment. I begged her not to tell and to my knowledge, she never did. This event began my drinking career.
Through out high school I would drink on occasion but rarely to excess, not sure where my restraint came from seeing as how I got away with it the first time but there were only a few times before I graduated where I got hammered.
I joined the Army 2 weeks out of high school. No booze in basic training but AIT was a party. Hammered every weekend. Graduated AIT and was stationed at FT Bragg. I thought AIT was a party - AIT was a warm up for permenant duty. Hairy buffalo parties on the weekends. Coolers full of Everclear and fruit. Kegs. Seeing who can chug the most Jack w/o puking. Over and over and over again. During the week we were all pretty tame but on the weekends it was no holds barred.
While at Ft Bragg I was deployed to Somalia in early Sept, 1993. My MOS was 57F (now 92M) - Mortuary Affairs. I was attached to another company, not as a 57F but just to augment the company going. I basically pulled 24hr guard duty for the first month. 3hours on, 3hours off. The first month was a **** show. Mortar attacks everyday. Sniper fire. The base got hit pretty hard on Oct 3rd. It was my first experience in direct combat. If I could bottle that adrenaline rush...
After Oct 3rd, the batallion commander order a QRF team organized to provide convoy security and additional security to backup the security already in place. I volunteered. We actually had to tryout. There were PT test requirements and tactical training and cuts. I made the cut and I was part of a "QRF" team that had ZERO combat training. From the platoon seargent on down to the private. The next 3 months consisted of 5 ton gun trucks with M60s and 50 cals escorting people to the airport and escorting supplies back to Base from the airport. Crazy experiences. It left a mark.
We got back to Bragg and 8 months later I was in Seoul. Attached to the US Army Mortuary. Korea was a non-stop party. There were times that I and my drinking buddy would get back from being out on the town just in time for PT formation. We stunk so bad that they'd make us run in the back of the formation. We weren't the only ones but we were definitely the most consistent. Never missed a formation and never fell out of a run. Shocked that it was 'allowed' but no one ever said a word.
After Korea it was off to Ft Drum in JANUARY 1996. You want to talk about snow and cold. Those crazy bastards up there weld 6ft rebar poles to the fire hydrants so the hydrants can be found in the snow. The drinking environment was tame compared to Bragg and Korea. I ETS'd in May.
After exiting the Army, I started college and got a job as a bartender. Let the good times roll. Party, party, party. School in the day, work at night, drink til morning(ish). Not every day but enough that college came second to the job and booze. I eventually dropped out.
I kept up the bartending and partying thing for years - total waste. Man, what a waste of time. In 2003 my then girlfriend got pregnant and I had to re-evaluate everything I was doing. I cut my drinking down to "social, one in a while, rarely to exess". I went back to school, graduated. Got a decent IT job and started to get comfortable in my daily grind 9 to 5. Overtime my drinking increased. I lost my job, moved back to my hometown and lived w/my mom. I'm shaking my head as I write this. I was 35 years old, working from home in my moms basement. I was a cliche.
Fast forward 10 years to today. My daughter was born in 2004 and is now 15. I'm married, happy, so lucky to have my wife, I own my own business and up until yesterday - still drank like a fish. There was no event that lead to me seeking sobriety. No fight. No drunkin argument. I woke up hung over Sunday morning, sat on the porch, and thought: "there has got to be better. Maybe not today or next year but this **** (booze) is going to take everything I have. It'll happen as sure as I sit here."
And with that I devised a plan and here I am. 2 days. Looking forward to day 3.
There are a LOT of holes in the above story. Over the past 20 years I've probably averaged 50-60 drinks a week. I'm incredibly lucky to be alive and as healthy as I am. I've never been arrested and never had a DUI. Not braggin', I've just been lucky and luck eventually runs out. I'm looking forward to living differently and seeing life through a less blurry lense.
HOW I GOT HERE
I got drunk for the first time when I was 15. My folks were in Hawaii and my grandma was watching me and my younger brother. She was in bed and we got the bright idea that we should try some of dad's booze. The next thing I remember it's the next morning, I'm in bed naked (apparently b/c I pissed myself) and Grandma is on her hands and knees cleaning up my puke. Not a proud moment. I begged her not to tell and to my knowledge, she never did. This event began my drinking career.
Through out high school I would drink on occasion but rarely to excess, not sure where my restraint came from seeing as how I got away with it the first time but there were only a few times before I graduated where I got hammered.
I joined the Army 2 weeks out of high school. No booze in basic training but AIT was a party. Hammered every weekend. Graduated AIT and was stationed at FT Bragg. I thought AIT was a party - AIT was a warm up for permenant duty. Hairy buffalo parties on the weekends. Coolers full of Everclear and fruit. Kegs. Seeing who can chug the most Jack w/o puking. Over and over and over again. During the week we were all pretty tame but on the weekends it was no holds barred.
While at Ft Bragg I was deployed to Somalia in early Sept, 1993. My MOS was 57F (now 92M) - Mortuary Affairs. I was attached to another company, not as a 57F but just to augment the company going. I basically pulled 24hr guard duty for the first month. 3hours on, 3hours off. The first month was a **** show. Mortar attacks everyday. Sniper fire. The base got hit pretty hard on Oct 3rd. It was my first experience in direct combat. If I could bottle that adrenaline rush...
After Oct 3rd, the batallion commander order a QRF team organized to provide convoy security and additional security to backup the security already in place. I volunteered. We actually had to tryout. There were PT test requirements and tactical training and cuts. I made the cut and I was part of a "QRF" team that had ZERO combat training. From the platoon seargent on down to the private. The next 3 months consisted of 5 ton gun trucks with M60s and 50 cals escorting people to the airport and escorting supplies back to Base from the airport. Crazy experiences. It left a mark.
We got back to Bragg and 8 months later I was in Seoul. Attached to the US Army Mortuary. Korea was a non-stop party. There were times that I and my drinking buddy would get back from being out on the town just in time for PT formation. We stunk so bad that they'd make us run in the back of the formation. We weren't the only ones but we were definitely the most consistent. Never missed a formation and never fell out of a run. Shocked that it was 'allowed' but no one ever said a word.
After Korea it was off to Ft Drum in JANUARY 1996. You want to talk about snow and cold. Those crazy bastards up there weld 6ft rebar poles to the fire hydrants so the hydrants can be found in the snow. The drinking environment was tame compared to Bragg and Korea. I ETS'd in May.
After exiting the Army, I started college and got a job as a bartender. Let the good times roll. Party, party, party. School in the day, work at night, drink til morning(ish). Not every day but enough that college came second to the job and booze. I eventually dropped out.
I kept up the bartending and partying thing for years - total waste. Man, what a waste of time. In 2003 my then girlfriend got pregnant and I had to re-evaluate everything I was doing. I cut my drinking down to "social, one in a while, rarely to exess". I went back to school, graduated. Got a decent IT job and started to get comfortable in my daily grind 9 to 5. Overtime my drinking increased. I lost my job, moved back to my hometown and lived w/my mom. I'm shaking my head as I write this. I was 35 years old, working from home in my moms basement. I was a cliche.
Fast forward 10 years to today. My daughter was born in 2004 and is now 15. I'm married, happy, so lucky to have my wife, I own my own business and up until yesterday - still drank like a fish. There was no event that lead to me seeking sobriety. No fight. No drunkin argument. I woke up hung over Sunday morning, sat on the porch, and thought: "there has got to be better. Maybe not today or next year but this **** (booze) is going to take everything I have. It'll happen as sure as I sit here."
And with that I devised a plan and here I am. 2 days. Looking forward to day 3.
There are a LOT of holes in the above story. Over the past 20 years I've probably averaged 50-60 drinks a week. I'm incredibly lucky to be alive and as healthy as I am. I've never been arrested and never had a DUI. Not braggin', I've just been lucky and luck eventually runs out. I'm looking forward to living differently and seeing life through a less blurry lense.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Welcome to Sober Recovery.
My journey to sobriety started much like yours...awakening hungover and deciding--FINALLY deciding--that I had had enough.
An easy decision, but a little more difficult to see through to success. But I did. Haven't had a drink since Sept. 2010.
Stick around SR, read, and start formulating how you are going to move beyond the first step of deciding to quit, to staying quit.
My journey to sobriety started much like yours...awakening hungover and deciding--FINALLY deciding--that I had had enough.
An easy decision, but a little more difficult to see through to success. But I did. Haven't had a drink since Sept. 2010.
Stick around SR, read, and start formulating how you are going to move beyond the first step of deciding to quit, to staying quit.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,027
Originally Posted by doggonecarl 
Welcome to Sober Recovery.
My journey to sobriety started much like yours...awakening hungover and deciding--FINALLY deciding--that I had had enough.
An easy decision, but a little more difficult to see through to success. But I did. Haven't had a drink since Sept. 2010.
Stick around SR, read, and start formulating how you are going to move beyond the first step of deciding to quit, to staying quit.
My journey to sobriety started much like yours...awakening hungover and deciding--FINALLY deciding--that I had had enough.
An easy decision, but a little more difficult to see through to success. But I did. Haven't had a drink since Sept. 2010.
Stick around SR, read, and start formulating how you are going to move beyond the first step of deciding to quit, to staying quit.
Yes, it is difficult to see through to success. It’s important to acknowledge this.
I was done drinking, just like you. I put it all behind me. I had exactly the attitude you have. It’s a good one and it carried me through.
But I was an infant in sobriety then, and now I am only a toddler. I have almost two years.
Be prepared for the process. Absolutely be done, and keep that big plan, and keep your gratefulness intact. You have an enormous amount to be thankful for. But you’ve only just begun to heal.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Welcome to SR KeepingCalm and thanks for sharing your story. I also started drinking in my early teens and progressed to full blown binge drinking 365 days a year at some point between then and my 40's but I couldn't say exactly when.
I think the best advice I could give is to do something besides just "not drinking". What that is varies widely - some people use a very structured recovery plan with meetings,etc, others choose a more self paced plan. Also understand that nearly all of us have some underlying issues that we need to address- psychological, physicaly, etc - and those need to be treated as separate and distinct problems. But indeed our drinking was sometimes an attempt to self-medicate those issues.
I think the best advice I could give is to do something besides just "not drinking". What that is varies widely - some people use a very structured recovery plan with meetings,etc, others choose a more self paced plan. Also understand that nearly all of us have some underlying issues that we need to address- psychological, physicaly, etc - and those need to be treated as separate and distinct problems. But indeed our drinking was sometimes an attempt to self-medicate those issues.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 9
Originally Posted by ScottFromWI
I think the best advice I could give is to do something besides just "not drinking". What that is varies widely - some people use a very structured recovery plan with meetings,etc, others choose a more self paced plan.
I'm adjusting my schedule. Usually I get up around 8am. Now it's 5am - or that's the plan. This morning it was a little before 6am, I'll try again tomorrow. Getting up early is less about getting my day started early and more about getting to bed earlier. I can't drink if I'm asleep.
Exercise right after work instead of pouring that first glass of whatever is on hand.
I also have a few projects I've been putting off for months that I'm going to bury myself in.
No AA or other program just yet. I'm not opposed but I'm going to give it a go on my own first.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 1,614
It sounds like you got sick and tired of being sick and tired the boozing thing started to get old and I bet that last hangover kindof I put you over the edge they suck don't they I bet this one was bad for you so man keep it up three days a lot better than nothing one day at a time
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 9
Welcome KC. How are things going for you?
Withdrawals aren't bad I guess but then I've never really tried quitting in the past. I'm pretty tired most of the day. More than normal. I have to force myself to focus. Sweating like a dog. A little shaky. And my heart rate is a little faster than normal. I don't feel like death though.
This may or may not make since - Everyday I go without drinking is a win and I need 'wins' more than I need a drink. I believe that's the mindset that will make this a lasting change. All things considered, I'm feeling pretty solid right now.
It sounds like you got sick and tired of being sick and tired the boozing thing started to get old and I bet that last hangover kindof I put you over the edge they suck don't they I bet this one was bad for you so man keep it up three days a lot better than nothing one day at a time
There's a saying out there that I'm sure many here have heard: "When things aren't adding up, start subtracting." Things weren't so I did. I appreciate your comment, sounds like you know where I'm coming from.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 1,614
I know you had that feeling deep down that f@#k this drinking crap is out of control. For me I threw my pride out the window. And that last hangover/ withdrawal made me say screw this I'm done. My pride now? Its good I give myself a pat on the back why ? Cause I'm doing it for me......stay strong .....62 days for me. Yeah buddy
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
Congratulation on quitting drinking. It's a very good idea to substitute drinking for another activity. In my case it was AA meetings. What I've seen in 27 years of sobriety is to beware of denial and rationalization, which still haunt me to this day. It's easiest to decide I won't drink today. No matter what.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 652
Originally Posted by KeepingCalm
Everyday I go without drinking is a win and I need 'wins' more than I need a drink. I believe that's the mindset that will make this a lasting change. All things considered, I'm feeling pretty solid right now.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 1,283
Originally Posted by KeepingCalm
This may or may not make since - Everyday I go without drinking is a win and I need 'wins' more than I need a drink. I believe that's the mindset that will make this a lasting change.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Glad are here and every day is indeed a victory!
No need to go it alone or try to forge your own unique path. Here at the start, at least - whether you build a program around SR (Dee and others did this from the get go), or AA, or another RECOVERY-based foundation, it's really important as most of us with some sobriety will tell you (I've only got 3.5 yr so I'm a young un compared to plenty of good folks here!). All my good habits, life choices, etc built from there.
Keep going!
No need to go it alone or try to forge your own unique path. Here at the start, at least - whether you build a program around SR (Dee and others did this from the get go), or AA, or another RECOVERY-based foundation, it's really important as most of us with some sobriety will tell you (I've only got 3.5 yr so I'm a young un compared to plenty of good folks here!). All my good habits, life choices, etc built from there.
Keep going!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 9
7 days!
A weird thing happened today.
Unless sick or otherwise indisposed, I've been buzzed or drunk every Sunday for the past several years. It was about 3pm and I needed to go get something from the hardware store. Stone sober, my first thought was "well sh*t, I can't drive". My next thought was - OH wait, I'm good!
I'm starting to see the benefits (beyond no hangovers) of this not drinking business, like being able to drive to the hardware store at 3pm on a Sunday afternoon. Good stuff!
Hope everyone had a great weekend!
A weird thing happened today.
Unless sick or otherwise indisposed, I've been buzzed or drunk every Sunday for the past several years. It was about 3pm and I needed to go get something from the hardware store. Stone sober, my first thought was "well sh*t, I can't drive". My next thought was - OH wait, I'm good!
I'm starting to see the benefits (beyond no hangovers) of this not drinking business, like being able to drive to the hardware store at 3pm on a Sunday afternoon. Good stuff!
Hope everyone had a great weekend!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 1,283
Originally Posted by KeepingCalm
7 days!
A weird thing happened today.
Unless sick or otherwise indisposed, I've been buzzed or drunk every Sunday for the past several years. It was about 3pm and I needed to go get something from the hardware store. Stone sober, my first thought was "well sh*t, I can't drive". My next thought was - OH wait, I'm good!
I'm starting to see the benefits (beyond no hangovers) of this not drinking business, like being able to drive to the hardware store at 3pm on a Sunday afternoon. Good stuff!
Hope everyone had a great weekend!
A weird thing happened today.
Unless sick or otherwise indisposed, I've been buzzed or drunk every Sunday for the past several years. It was about 3pm and I needed to go get something from the hardware store. Stone sober, my first thought was "well sh*t, I can't drive". My next thought was - OH wait, I'm good!
I'm starting to see the benefits (beyond no hangovers) of this not drinking business, like being able to drive to the hardware store at 3pm on a Sunday afternoon. Good stuff!
Hope everyone had a great weekend!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 9
Day 8 and I feel like hammered sh*t. I feel hungover without smelling hungover. Pretty much just a full-body sweaty ache. I thought after a week or so, things would improve. I feel like just going to bed. Pulse and BP are good though (I have a BP cuff at home)
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: West Tn
Posts: 3,043
Glad you're here, KC.
I'm also happy your open to a recovery program.
For me, it's been AA and continuous sobriety for a good while now - ever since I started AA.
Please keep us posted with your journey.
I'm also happy your open to a recovery program.
For me, it's been AA and continuous sobriety for a good while now - ever since I started AA.
Please keep us posted with your journey.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 9
Please keep us posted with your journey.
12 days. Good to go so far. Big weekend coming up. My step son is getting married. The amount of booze that will be consumed at the reception by this group is mind-numbing (literally).
Not looking forward to dealing with all the drunks from 3pm to probably 3am. I've done it sober before as a DD and it was brutal. Drank 3/4 of a fifth when I got home. Can't do that this time.
There are perks though. I can be a sober driver for whoever needs it. I'll be able to 'manage' the madness that's almost certain to happen. And no hangover. Pros and cons I guess but it will be tough.
Bonus: I won't be 'that guy' which is never a bad thing
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