Life is good.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2010
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,906
Life is good.
A lot of doctors, therapists, sponsors, whatever people you work with will tell you early on, some days you will fight for every second and every minute of your sobriety. Then after a long time and a lot of healing it gets easier...better...so it's been 105,189,753 seconds, 1,753,162 minutes, 29,219 hours, 1218 days ..40 months...3 years and 4 months to the day that I walked away from 26 years of total insanity and chaos. Life is good
I never thought in a million years the day before I got sober, I'd ever be here. Thank you for being there for me.
I never thought in a million years the day before I got sober, I'd ever be here. Thank you for being there for me.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 1,283
Originally Posted by BullDog777 
A lot of doctors, therapists, sponsors, whatever people you work with will tell you early on, some days you will fight for every second and every minute of your sobriety. Then after a long time and a lot of healing it gets easier...better...so it's been 105,189,753 seconds, 1,753,162 minutes, 29,219 hours, 1218 days ..40 months...3 years and 4 months to the day that I walked away from 26 years of total insanity and chaos. Life is good
I never thought in a million years the day before I got sober, I'd ever be here. Thank you for being there for me.
I never thought in a million years the day before I got sober, I'd ever be here. Thank you for being there for me.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
I adore this Bulldog - and you said everything I'd say but with way less words which is awesome 
I'm only 7 days ahead of your count (btw the whole breakdown makes my heart happy - a frient tells me I'd be the mom who said she had a 47 mo old baby!!). Everything you said is true for me.
And today, I am living in gratitude for the first world sober person problems our family is having. A couple are pretty significant but we can get thru them and accept outcomes (even back surgery for me, which is quite possibly one of the lesser problems/blessings!)...because my husband, his ex wife and I are all in recovery. And we've been given this set of challenges with each of us in the 2.5-3.5 year range and I know the timing is no accident.
Proud of you!
I'm only 7 days ahead of your count (btw the whole breakdown makes my heart happy - a frient tells me I'd be the mom who said she had a 47 mo old baby!!). Everything you said is true for me.
And today, I am living in gratitude for the first world sober person problems our family is having. A couple are pretty significant but we can get thru them and accept outcomes (even back surgery for me, which is quite possibly one of the lesser problems/blessings!)...because my husband, his ex wife and I are all in recovery. And we've been given this set of challenges with each of us in the 2.5-3.5 year range and I know the timing is no accident.
Proud of you!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,027
Thank you for leading the way, bulldog.
You and August have progressed past milestones that I have not, yet. But I will.
I’m amazed that the sobriety process can be measured not just in days, weeks and months....but also years.
Each year brings additional healing. I can see it in both of you and the tone of your posts.
Think good thoughts for me, as I work toward balance and discipline in my life, and slowly put on a shelf the behaviors I turned to in order to cope with the first two years of sobriety.
My father’s death seems to have set me back in a lot of ways. This weekend I was hit with a flood of grief. Here’s something embarrassing.....I watched 32 episodes of Hart of Dixie (why this show? Why?) because I just couldn’t sit with my thoughts this weekend. There was a lot of sugar and gluten consumed also. Six months after my father’s death I am hit emotionally with Fourth of July...my parents always visited for our party. And its been way, way harder than I expected.
In 2017 I drank all morning on Fourth of July. I was completely smashed. I was dressed in Fourth of July colors and went to the festival but I hid from most of the party to drink upstairs and when I finally came downstairs, I was there but I remember nothing. I don’t remember if my father made it to that party. He was missing more events then because his chf was worsening. I don’t want to ask my mom, because my behavior that day was so painful for her that I don’t want to bring that up.
Damn. What is it about your threads that do this to me???
Thanks for being here.
You and August have progressed past milestones that I have not, yet. But I will.
I’m amazed that the sobriety process can be measured not just in days, weeks and months....but also years.
Each year brings additional healing. I can see it in both of you and the tone of your posts.
Think good thoughts for me, as I work toward balance and discipline in my life, and slowly put on a shelf the behaviors I turned to in order to cope with the first two years of sobriety.
My father’s death seems to have set me back in a lot of ways. This weekend I was hit with a flood of grief. Here’s something embarrassing.....I watched 32 episodes of Hart of Dixie (why this show? Why?) because I just couldn’t sit with my thoughts this weekend. There was a lot of sugar and gluten consumed also. Six months after my father’s death I am hit emotionally with Fourth of July...my parents always visited for our party. And its been way, way harder than I expected.
In 2017 I drank all morning on Fourth of July. I was completely smashed. I was dressed in Fourth of July colors and went to the festival but I hid from most of the party to drink upstairs and when I finally came downstairs, I was there but I remember nothing. I don’t remember if my father made it to that party. He was missing more events then because his chf was worsening. I don’t want to ask my mom, because my behavior that day was so painful for her that I don’t want to bring that up.
Damn. What is it about your threads that do this to me???
Thanks for being here.
Grateful
Join Date: May 2013
Location: NC
Posts: 1,763
Great to hear BullDog! 
I've found life to get incrementally better the longer I stay sober. Imagine a graph going up and down, but for each downward bump the upward bump is a bit bigger. Also their seems to be less ups and downs on my graph today. That's one of the nicest things as I keep moving forward...now days a chitty day gets a shoulder shrug and on to tomorrow, where before I could take that bad day and stretch it into a week.
Hang in there Sassy, I can relate to having bouts of grief over my Mom come out of nowhere many months after she passed (hell to this day). It seems to get better with time (Mom's been gone 16 months now), but I don't know if it will every completely go away.
I've found life to get incrementally better the longer I stay sober. Imagine a graph going up and down, but for each downward bump the upward bump is a bit bigger. Also their seems to be less ups and downs on my graph today. That's one of the nicest things as I keep moving forward...now days a chitty day gets a shoulder shrug and on to tomorrow, where before I could take that bad day and stretch it into a week.
Hang in there Sassy, I can relate to having bouts of grief over my Mom come out of nowhere many months after she passed (hell to this day). It seems to get better with time (Mom's been gone 16 months now), but I don't know if it will every completely go away.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,027
Originally Posted by Grungehead
Great to hear BullDog!
I've found life to get incrementally better the longer I stay sober. Imagine a graph going up and down, but for each downward bump the upward bump is a bit bigger. Also their seems to be less ups and downs on my graph today. That's one of the nicest things as I keep moving forward...now days a chitty day gets a shoulder shrug and on to tomorrow, where before I could take that bad day and stretch it into a week.
Hang in there Sassy, I can relate to having bouts of grief over my Mom come out of nowhere many months after she passed (hell to this day). It seems to get better with time (Mom's been gone 16 months now), but I don't know if it will every completely go away.
I've found life to get incrementally better the longer I stay sober. Imagine a graph going up and down, but for each downward bump the upward bump is a bit bigger. Also their seems to be less ups and downs on my graph today. That's one of the nicest things as I keep moving forward...now days a chitty day gets a shoulder shrug and on to tomorrow, where before I could take that bad day and stretch it into a week.
Hang in there Sassy, I can relate to having bouts of grief over my Mom come out of nowhere many months after she passed (hell to this day). It seems to get better with time (Mom's been gone 16 months now), but I don't know if it will every completely go away.
I have a hard time lifting this shadow off my life, lately.
It’s only been six months. I’m sure your 16 hurts just as much. It just goes to show how much we loved them. The price of love.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 232
Originally Posted by BullDog777
A lot of doctors, therapists, sponsors, whatever people you work with will tell you early on, some days you will fight for every second and every minute of your sobriety. Then after a long time and a lot of healing it gets easier...better...so it's been 105,189,753 seconds, 1,753,162 minutes, 29,219 hours, 1218 days ..40 months...3 years and 4 months to the day that I walked away from 26 years of total insanity and chaos. Life is good
I never thought in a million years the day before I got sober, I'd ever be here. Thank you for being there for me.
I never thought in a million years the day before I got sober, I'd ever be here. Thank you for being there for me.
You're absolutely right, it does get a lot easier.
11 more days and I'll be 1 year 🙂
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 1,283
Originally Posted by Mtphc
Awesome, what an accomplishment.
You're absolutely right, it does get a lot easier.
11 more days and I'll be 1 year 🙂
You're absolutely right, it does get a lot easier.
11 more days and I'll be 1 year 🙂
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 52
Yep indeed ...I'm almost 2 Years sober and I came to the stage that I don't want to drink nomore while in the beginning it was really a fight ...Life is so much better without booze...At least now I know what I said or what I did the day before...Boozing is MISERY....BIG MISERY...I'm glad I'm no longer a slave to that..
I don't think about drinking anymore, except to be glad I don't do it. 
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Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 232
Originally Posted by Sohard
So, just wondering, at 11-days-until-a-year, would you say it is easier or easy?? I hope you say easy, but please tell me the truth obviously.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2010
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,906
I wrote that first post a week ago, I meant to check back in sooner. I took the family to NY for a little vacation this past week. We went and saw the city and got to go see Sat. Night Live over at NBC. We had a lot of fun.
I'm so grateful for the opportunity to keep living sober. I went back and read some of my old posts from when I was still out there trying to taper off a few years ago and it was sad. I was so engulfed by the sickness and trying to taper and relapsing constantly...man...i thank God I landed my a$$ in the hospital for as long as I did.
I remember trying to think of any way around this mess....something else...i had to be able to figure it out. Sometimes the only way to the other side is through.
This is so cliche' but I'm gonna say it. The quality of my problems, now....pales in comparison to what they were when all I wanted to do was climb out of hell.
I'm so grateful for this place and my family and friends.
I'm so grateful for the opportunity to keep living sober. I went back and read some of my old posts from when I was still out there trying to taper off a few years ago and it was sad. I was so engulfed by the sickness and trying to taper and relapsing constantly...man...i thank God I landed my a$$ in the hospital for as long as I did.
I remember trying to think of any way around this mess....something else...i had to be able to figure it out. Sometimes the only way to the other side is through.
This is so cliche' but I'm gonna say it. The quality of my problems, now....pales in comparison to what they were when all I wanted to do was climb out of hell.
I'm so grateful for this place and my family and friends.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2010
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,906
Originally Posted by Stayingsassy
Thank you for leading the way, bulldog.
You and August have progressed past milestones that I have not, yet. But I will.
I’m amazed that the sobriety process can be measured not just in days, weeks and months....but also years.
Each year brings additional healing. I can see it in both of you and the tone of your posts.
Think good thoughts for me, as I work toward balance and discipline in my life, and slowly put on a shelf the behaviors I turned to in order to cope with the first two years of sobriety.
My father’s death seems to have set me back in a lot of ways. This weekend I was hit with a flood of grief. Here’s something embarrassing.....I watched 32 episodes of Hart of Dixie (why this show? Why?) because I just couldn’t sit with my thoughts this weekend. There was a lot of sugar and gluten consumed also. Six months after my father’s death I am hit emotionally with Fourth of July...my parents always visited for our party. And its been way, way harder than I expected.
In 2017 I drank all morning on Fourth of July. I was completely smashed. I was dressed in Fourth of July colors and went to the festival but I hid from most of the party to drink upstairs and when I finally came downstairs, I was there but I remember nothing. I don’t remember if my father made it to that party. He was missing more events then because his chf was worsening. I don’t want to ask my mom, because my behavior that day was so painful for her that I don’t want to bring that up.
Damn. What is it about your threads that do this to me???
Thanks for being here.
You and August have progressed past milestones that I have not, yet. But I will.
I’m amazed that the sobriety process can be measured not just in days, weeks and months....but also years.
Each year brings additional healing. I can see it in both of you and the tone of your posts.
Think good thoughts for me, as I work toward balance and discipline in my life, and slowly put on a shelf the behaviors I turned to in order to cope with the first two years of sobriety.
My father’s death seems to have set me back in a lot of ways. This weekend I was hit with a flood of grief. Here’s something embarrassing.....I watched 32 episodes of Hart of Dixie (why this show? Why?) because I just couldn’t sit with my thoughts this weekend. There was a lot of sugar and gluten consumed also. Six months after my father’s death I am hit emotionally with Fourth of July...my parents always visited for our party. And its been way, way harder than I expected.
In 2017 I drank all morning on Fourth of July. I was completely smashed. I was dressed in Fourth of July colors and went to the festival but I hid from most of the party to drink upstairs and when I finally came downstairs, I was there but I remember nothing. I don’t remember if my father made it to that party. He was missing more events then because his chf was worsening. I don’t want to ask my mom, because my behavior that day was so painful for her that I don’t want to bring that up.
Damn. What is it about your threads that do this to me???
Thanks for being here.
I don't know to feel about that.
As far as the rest, I can relate. Sometimes I'll revisit the past when I know it's better left alone. When grief comes back, I'll look at old photos, play old movies and old songs. I don't know why I do it.
Kinda wished I knew the answer to that question.
I really appreciate you for your wisdom and honesty. I might have a few more days, but you have a way with words that just evokes a lot of self reflection and that's a gift.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: West Tn
Posts: 3,043
I'm sorry you're enduring this pain, BD, but I'm glad that you are able to be with your father.
My wife and I lost 3 parents in 6 months in 2012, my mother in 2013 and my biological dad in 2014.
My mother-in-law was the first to die, and she was a surrogate mother to me.
We connected at an incredibly intense level.
I still miss her terribly and think about her all the time.
My mother was a bitter drunk who never wanted to get sober.
I miss the other parents, too.
Part of life and recovery is being present in the pain.
Losing loved ones certainly gives us that experience.
It was tough.
But I never thought about drinking for a minute.
The support of my friends was incredibly gratifying.
People really do care about us.
Thanks for sharing this pain.
My wife and I lost 3 parents in 6 months in 2012, my mother in 2013 and my biological dad in 2014.
My mother-in-law was the first to die, and she was a surrogate mother to me.
We connected at an incredibly intense level.
I still miss her terribly and think about her all the time.
My mother was a bitter drunk who never wanted to get sober.
I miss the other parents, too.
Part of life and recovery is being present in the pain.
Losing loved ones certainly gives us that experience.
It was tough.
But I never thought about drinking for a minute.
The support of my friends was incredibly gratifying.
People really do care about us.
Thanks for sharing this pain.
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