Sick and Tired
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 16
Sick and Tired
I am so tired! I am so drained and sad. My heart aches, and the shame just eats at me. Went out got ********* like always. Told myself I wouldn’t drink. I’m so tired of feeling this way all the time. When is enough enough. I clearly don’t have it in me to drink like a normal person. Whatever a normal person is. My dad was an alcoholic and I promised myself I never be like him. But I realize this is a disease. I don’t crave alcohol or drink during the week. It would happen ever few months I’d binge drink and completely black out. It is scary and I become this person Trampy *******. I am addicted to feeling free when I’m in that moment and that’s when I want to keep on going! Please any thought?
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by Justme8 
I am addicted to feeling free when I’m in that moment and that’s when I want to keep on going! Please any thought? [/left]
I hope our support can help you get sober for good. 
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
I was really tired of my drinking too. Towards the end it didn't even get me buzzed, I basically needed to drink just to keep withdrawals away.
For me personally the solution was simple but not easy - i just had to accept that if I drink bad things will always happen. There is no rational reason as to "why" I am that way either, I just had to accept that I am that way. It's not fair and it's not easy but most things worth having in life aren't easy to get.
For me personally the solution was simple but not easy - i just had to accept that if I drink bad things will always happen. There is no rational reason as to "why" I am that way either, I just had to accept that I am that way. It's not fair and it's not easy but most things worth having in life aren't easy to get.
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,906
This can be the last time you ever feel that shame and sadness. Sobriety is not easy, but anyone can do it if they want it bad enough.
I hated the way I was living and feeling and I knew the only way to get past this was through it. A few years later, my life is very happy.
You can do it too. You just have to put the bottle down and do whatever it takes to stay sober.
It could be a simple 12 step program. Or rehab. Or maybe you need to detox in a hospital. Or therapy. Or a half a dozen other things that people do. I needed a hospital. Any way you do it, there has to be an honest hunger to wanna be sober more than you want to be drunk.
I hated the way I was living and feeling and I knew the only way to get past this was through it. A few years later, my life is very happy.
You can do it too. You just have to put the bottle down and do whatever it takes to stay sober.
It could be a simple 12 step program. Or rehab. Or maybe you need to detox in a hospital. Or therapy. Or a half a dozen other things that people do. I needed a hospital. Any way you do it, there has to be an honest hunger to wanna be sober more than you want to be drunk.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 1,614
Like most of the folks sat here you just gotta do it bite the bullet and just do it yes it's going to suck especially if you're a heavy boozer the withdrawals are scary but it can be done after that it's gravy like they tell you you gotta want to stay sober morning you want to drink
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by Justme8
I am addicted to feeling free when I’m in that moment and that’s when I want to keep on going! Please any thought?
Alcoholism.
There is a solution.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 96
Fwiw I know exactly how you feel. I am very much like you. I don’t crave alcohol daily. Or sometimes not even weekly. I didn’t need to drink bc of a physical dependency. And more often than not when I drank I was fine moderating. But as the years went along and the stresses of life grew more complicated, I found that when I did drink (which again wasn’t even weekly) I had a harder time moderating. I spent more time while drinking arguing with myself internally that I shouldn’t drink more because it’s bad news and wanting “just one more”. And that battle was so stressful. And then there were the night that moderation didn’t win out and I woke up the next morning struggling to remember the events of the day before. It was like Russian Roulette. I wasn’t able to control or overpower alcohol. And that to me was not ok. The stress of when I would drink: make sure you don’t drink too much. How many should I end up drinking? Will I want more? How can I sneak more without anyone noticing or judging me? And then beating myself up the next morning when I drank too much... apologizing to my husband who I’m sure I fought with. It just isn’t worth it. Now? When I’m in a situation where people are drinking I no longer stress if alcohol will assume power over me bc I don’t allow it inside of me anymore. And honestly it feels really good. Last time I got drank was July 23 of last year and I haven’t regretted it once.
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