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Old 07-13-2019, 03:35 PM   #81 (permalink)

Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 277
Well, back home! A really great day with no negatives and a lot of positives. The main one being that conflict about drinking just wasn't there. But then again I did have a lot of support from my friends. It was a small wedding (80 odd folk) and our crew of about 8-9 all kinda stuck together. We're all around 40 now and are kinda slowing down anyway. It's now 11.30 and what happens between now and 3am isn't worth worrying about. As weddings go I do accept that this was a soft ball. There are other environments, less supportive, less comfortable for me that it would be foolish to go near. But am still pretty chuffed to have not just gotten through my first sober wedding but to have really enjoyed it.
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Old 07-13-2019, 03:45 PM   #82 (permalink)

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Posts: 277
Originally Posted by Stayingsassy View Post
Certain activities are more triggering than others. A trip is going to have multiple associations for you that will make you feel let down in early sobriety and cause resentment.

Change the narrative. I mean, golf? Guys I know who golf basically go drinking, and just happen to be golfing. The dinners, the vacation itself, all of it might be too much.

It took over a year to even face things that might be too close to drinking. I chose other things.

One thing thatís hard to do as a drunk is be active. Can you get fitter in the gym? That opens up hiking, spartan races, running, climbing, etc. there arenít many drunks doing these kinds of things. Itís pleasant to have a healthy body and a clear mind for all sorts of things that are active, natural and fun.

I planned a Hawaii vacation this year and because sobriety is always at the forefront of my mind, I literally chose an island based on doing something other than drinking on the beach (big sassy trigger.). I chose the big island due to the rain, the hikes, the rainforest, the activities.....I donít want to go see a bunch of people getting hammered on the beach so I shifted the entire vacation.

This goes back to sobriety first. If youíre going to recreate like you always did, your addiction will push you toward the lifestyle that you always had.

I may even skip a family reunion next July in New Orleans. Why? New Orleans triggers me. Iíd say a third of its appeal was drinking. If Iím working my life with total honesty and sobriety first, I have to deeply consider these things.

Donít go just half assed with plans anymore. Your plans matter. What you do in your down time really matters now, Iíd even say itís probably a life or death direction. Make your choices about recreation very carefully.
Weekend golf here in the UK is one thing, and it's my regular weekend pastime that I don't really associate with drinking. Solo golf trips to the States is just trigger city. You're right. I spoke to a friend about this and she agreed with what August was saying about looking that far ahead and also what you are saying about a US golf trip - she knows how many mental associations there are with a trip like that and it starts on the plane and continues to the hotel bar, the golf course, the restaurants and the uniquely American dive bars.

I'll hold off on thinking along those lines for a while and see where I'm at down the line...
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