Cosima11

So writing this from Italy. There’s been a lot of drinking, bars, happy hour, etc.. I’ve felt some twinges of discomfort but just dig in deeper to the conversations (with those sober enough to have them coherently) and it’s been mostly fine. My friends have been mostly supportive but slightly not depending on their level of intoxication.

I’m still in my 20s and these are the things people do on vacation. Better to expose myself to them now and set the precedent that I can handle it than to hide away from social excursions for the next decade. But I won’t lie my AV still has suggested “maybe just on vacation”.. nothing would have to change once I get home.

However I’m glad I’ve implemented other lifestyle changes as drinking would be an instant backslide into other unhealthy decisions such as smoking, drunken over-eating (more than I’ve already been doing on this trip), and god knows what kind of social media posts or texts I might send. Instead of drinking I’m saving money, saving calories, saving my self respect and dignity.

Thanks for reading.

sobersophie

Hi Cosima. You are doing a fantastic job staying sober in that environment. It is no wonder your AV is chirping up, and I can completely relate to the idea of 'just while I'm away'.

Keep it up and allow yourself to feel a little bit elitist when you wake up each morning with a clear head. Enjoy every moment of the rest of your holiday x

Dee74

Sounds like you are doing great
Enjoy the rest of your vacation Cosima

D

kiki26

August252015

Great going so far and I'm glad you posted.

One thing: leaving a gathering is OK, even abroad! I adore Italy so I could definitely kill some time before going back to the hotel, alone!

And....another thing: early testing so I got used to things just wasn't a good idea for me. You're already there and all - but when you get home, re-thinking what you should and want to put yourself into might be a great idea. I remember now that it seemed so important to go out with friends in my 20s...yet I am pretty sure I could've opted out of more "fun" than I did and it wouldn't have cost me friends (this is when I was drinking, even).

Glad you are sharing while abroad! Enjoy the trip.

entropy1964

I'm glad you are committed to staying sober Cosima. You are absolutely right. You would regret drinking for so many reasons. I've never woken up after drinking and thought, WOW I'm so glad I did that. Ha. Usually I wake up wondering what the date is....Ugh.

I have pondered drinking on multiple occasions while out of town. But I always try to remind myself, absolutely nothing good will come of it. And knowing me, it will be down right bad. I mean epic bad. I don't do anything small...And drinking will NOT make anything more fun. That is an illusion and a lie.

Ok, that pep talk was actually for me...I'm going out of town in July...and that little thought has popped up. God I'm fricken nuts.

biminiblue

Ya know, I'm five years sober and every summer my old, "Hey, sure have a drink," thoughts come up again - and I don't even have to be on vacation.

They're just thoughts - crazy ones, but still.

Good job, Cosima. I would far rather observe the drunks than be one. I can wake up feeling good and have no regrets.

Cosima11

It’s true I’m never going to regret waking up without a hangover, not having to wonder what I might’ve done or said, etc..

My reasoning for the trip was really just that traveling has been one of my favorite things in life since I was very young but not something I ever made time for while drinking (or if I did it would’ve had to be an all inclusive or a cruise or something where there would’ve been alcohol flowing constantly). I actually thought about traveling solo but felt it would be good to reconnect with this particular group. Granted it’s still been a somewhat tourist-y experience which isn’t necessarily ideal but I’m really glad I decided to go. Our second location is much more relaxing and so beautiful it’s like something out of a movie.

Anyway that’s all from me but thanks for the replies, checking in here has kept me grounded in reality despite any fleeting thoughts.

sammymaguire

You are very brave to attempt this. No wonder your AV is giving you problems. I really really hope you make it. That would be some achievement if you did. Stay close to the forum until you are home.

Kdon853

Nice enjoy, I went to Octoberfest and parts around for 3 weeks in 1988. The only thing that I have is the hat with the “paint brush” . I do not have 1 picture and the trip was very sketchy.

Dropsie

You are going to be fine. You have taken a decision that is not place dependent. It just is. I travel about half the time, both fun and work. And with my work, everybody drinks, except me. They think I am a bad ass, and they are correct!

Stayingsassy

Hoo boy, yep!!

Just came off a stint of working full time for a month or so. I am relaxing (recovering from the stress of work) at home and I started watching a show I used to watch when I drank. In the summer. I felt weird and realized why. So I thought it through...you know....what would it be like to drink again? Shuddered, realized ugh I never want the feeling of a bucket of alcohol in my body again, and cleaned my house!

I know Italy is a trigger. I’ve never been and I still know it’s one! I’m going to Hawaii and there’s another one! But....these beautiful places we visit during our breaks are beautiful on their own...without too many cocktails, puking in hotel bathrooms, and regrettable behaviors with Italian men you met on the dance floor . Not that I’m speaking of you....just remembering my own 20’s, and thinking how much more peaceful, graceful and meaningful they could have been.

Enjoy Italy.

Lpg

Hey cosima

It's tough sometimes especially when in those types of situations but your smashing it by the sounds of it. Your so right looking at all the positives and you will go home truly refreshed from your holiday, whereas your pals my be slightly sluggish. It always looks like they having fun but I always remind myself it was never FUN for me really.

I'm away this weekend and anticipate much of the same scenario, I will take on board your post so thank you

Enjoy the rest of your trip

Cosima11

Thanks Dropsie, that’s kinda how I see it too.. I’m not going for the kind of sobriety that’s dependent upon routines and familiar surroundings.. though both of those things were and still are important in maintaining stability. My first year was very insulated and solitary and my commitment to sobriety has come before everything else but I’m ready to start branching out again..

Cosima11

I don’t think I’d even need to be drunk to make regrettable decisions with Italian men but that won’t be happening on this trip either haha. Hawaii is such a magical place, maybe a potential trigger but there’s so much to do there sober too you’ll have a great time. Not sure when you’re going but enjoy and share with us if you want or need to.

Cosima11

That’s a really good point, with the way I drank it might’ve been “fun” for a couple hours tops but then the rest of the night would only be about making sure I remained as drunk as possible. It had become a chore really.

Thanks for your reply and I hope you have a good time out of town!

Stayingsassy

I mean: Italian men don’t reset the sobriety clock, so no judgement here

I’m leaving 7/27, and I will absolutely post here if I need to! I hope you’re having a wonderful time. . (even sans boys of Italy)

SoberCAH

My wife and I are spending next week at Newport, Rhode Island and Martha's Vineyard.

Looking forward to good seafood, riding some bicycles, running and AA meetings.

And then on to Daytona Beach in a few weeks for some car racing enjoyment.