Went to the doctor’s today
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 36
Originally Posted by biminiblue 
Yeah, that is called Reverse Tolerance, and it is indeed a very bad sign.
I'm sorry you decided to drink. I hope you will throw everything you've got at getting sober before it's too late.
I'm sorry you decided to drink. I hope you will throw everything you've got at getting sober before it's too late.
I know now I need to stop if I’m to see my kids grow up, but a life without booze seems so bleak. When I think about it, it’s just monochrome. I’ve quit for a few days before but it was never sustainable. As soon as I’m in the company if anyone drinking, I have to go too.
Ive no idea how to manage that.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,027
Originally Posted by JPA
That's worrying, but not surprising. Oddly, I don’t seem to get hangovers anymore. At all.
I know now I need to stop if I’m to see my kids grow up, but a life without booze seems so bleak. When I think about it, it’s just monochrome. I’ve quit for a few days before but it was never sustainable. As soon as I’m in the company if anyone drinking, I have to go too.
Ive no idea how to manage that.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,368
I know now I need to stop if I’m to see my kids grow up, but a life without booze seems so bleak. When I think about it, it’s just monochrome. I’ve quit for a few days before but it was never sustainable. As soon as I’m in the company if anyone drinking, I have to go too.
Ive no idea how to manage that.
Ive no idea how to manage that.
Noone here was born drinking - there's a real us inside that doesn't need to drink.
You need to give yourself the chance to find that real me.
I don;t miss looking in the mirror and hating the face I saw looking back at me.
Its a leap of faith but like I said, many of us have made that leap and love the new lives we've made - it's not as risky as it sounds.
Like sassy says it may take a few months, but a few months against the years we drank is a pretty good deal.
D
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 1,283
Originally Posted by JPA
Took a step I thought I could never take - to go and be open to a medical professional about my illness which I’ve carried now for at least a decade but came to a head this weekend. I took my wife to a concert, a Christmas present.
Her one stipulation was simple - don’t get drunk. I promised that I wouldn’t, and I believed I wouldn’t. I got absolutely blasted. I couldn’t walk. I couldn’t talk. Typical of me really, once it’s in me, the control has gone.
Anyway, made the decision today that I had to sort myself out. The question from my doctor was effectively; “what do you want me to do for you”? I didn’t know - I was hoping he would.
It was was one of the toughest things I’ve ever done to walk into that room and explain myself, largely because the concept of a life without booze absolutely terrifies me. It wasn’t the response I was expecting, so having cleared the fridge of beer and wine I went out and bought more. I’m back on it now.
Don’t know where to go from here. I have a boys holiday in Munich in a week’s time and I’m dreading the state I could get myself in. I’m a liability to myself once I start. Don’t know what to do.
Terrified and dark dark thoughts are drifting in.
Her one stipulation was simple - don’t get drunk. I promised that I wouldn’t, and I believed I wouldn’t. I got absolutely blasted. I couldn’t walk. I couldn’t talk. Typical of me really, once it’s in me, the control has gone.
Anyway, made the decision today that I had to sort myself out. The question from my doctor was effectively; “what do you want me to do for you”? I didn’t know - I was hoping he would.
It was was one of the toughest things I’ve ever done to walk into that room and explain myself, largely because the concept of a life without booze absolutely terrifies me. It wasn’t the response I was expecting, so having cleared the fridge of beer and wine I went out and bought more. I’m back on it now.
Don’t know where to go from here. I have a boys holiday in Munich in a week’s time and I’m dreading the state I could get myself in. I’m a liability to myself once I start. Don’t know what to do.
Terrified and dark dark thoughts are drifting in.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Michigan
Posts: 5,376
JPA, I've been there. Alcoholism always gets worse if you keep on drinking. Never better. It's not too late to stop. Just don't pick up a drink for today. Get to an AA meeting. Stay sober one day at a time. Hopefully you can catch it before your rock bottoms become worse and worse.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,757
I hope you will stop drinking before something awful happens as a result. 
Living without drinking is not boring or monochrome at all, just the opposite. It took me a few months to start feeling better again. And I've never woken up sober and feeling good, and wished I had drank the night before.
Living without drinking is not boring or monochrome at all, just the opposite. It took me a few months to start feeling better again. And I've never woken up sober and feeling good, and wished I had drank the night before.
under new management
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Posts: 2,339
Originally Posted by JPA
but a life without booze seems so bleak. When I think about it, it’s just monochrome.
It is actually quite the opposite. For me, in sobriety I came to see the world in brilliant, full spectrum colors.
It took some hard work to get here but now I can look back and see how my view in active addiction was just blurry shades of gray.
I hope you give yourself a chance to see.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 36
Thanks for the words everyone. Since returning home things haven’t been good. I feel like I’m on the cusp of losing my marriage, my kids and...my life. Metaphorically? Definitely. Literally? Possibly, even probably - I don’t know.
My mental state is probably, as of this moment, at an all time low. Things feel like they’re coming at me from so many angles.
Objectively, I know I need to stop drinking. I know that it’s making me ill both physically and mentally. But stopping, even for a day, is an ordeal. I feel anxious, uncomfortable, and unable to sleep. Whenever I’ve made it to day two, the effects have been worse. Zero energy, it’s harder to function after a dry day than after getting wasted.
I just don’t know where to go. The NHS here in the UK didn’t come up with much by way I’d support, so maybe private rehab would be a better option. It will cost me, but perhaps not doing so will cost me more.
My mental state is probably, as of this moment, at an all time low. Things feel like they’re coming at me from so many angles.
Objectively, I know I need to stop drinking. I know that it’s making me ill both physically and mentally. But stopping, even for a day, is an ordeal. I feel anxious, uncomfortable, and unable to sleep. Whenever I’ve made it to day two, the effects have been worse. Zero energy, it’s harder to function after a dry day than after getting wasted.
I just don’t know where to go. The NHS here in the UK didn’t come up with much by way I’d support, so maybe private rehab would be a better option. It will cost me, but perhaps not doing so will cost me more.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Michigan
Posts: 5,376
(((JPA)))!!! You're in my thoughts and prayers!!! Either way it's going to be painful. But sobering up will be less painful than keeping on drinking, that's for sure. And once you sober up and learn how to treat alcoholism while sober, it can be a happy, joyous, and free life!!!
Millions of people have recovered (not cured) from alcoholism! Why not you? You can do this!!! Let me ask you a question.
Do you admit that you're powerless over alcohol and that your life is unmanageable?
If you answered yes, half the battle is already won!!! You're already half way there!!!
Millions of people have recovered (not cured) from alcoholism! Why not you? You can do this!!! Let me ask you a question.
Do you admit that you're powerless over alcohol and that your life is unmanageable?
If you answered yes, half the battle is already won!!! You're already half way there!!!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,027
Originally Posted by JPA
Thanks for the words everyone. Since returning home things haven’t been good. I feel like I’m on the cusp of losing my marriage, my kids and...my life. Metaphorically? Definitely. Literally? Possibly, even probably - I don’t know.
My mental state is probably, as of this moment, at an all time low. Things feel like they’re coming at me from so many angles.
Objectively, I know I need to stop drinking. I know that it’s making me ill both physically and mentally. But stopping, even for a day, is an ordeal. I feel anxious, uncomfortable, and unable to sleep. Whenever I’ve made it to day two, the effects have been worse. Zero energy, it’s harder to function after a dry day than after getting wasted.
I just don’t know where to go. The NHS here in the UK didn’t come up with much by way I’d support, so maybe private rehab would be a better option. It will cost me, but perhaps not doing so will cost me more.
My mental state is probably, as of this moment, at an all time low. Things feel like they’re coming at me from so many angles.
Objectively, I know I need to stop drinking. I know that it’s making me ill both physically and mentally. But stopping, even for a day, is an ordeal. I feel anxious, uncomfortable, and unable to sleep. Whenever I’ve made it to day two, the effects have been worse. Zero energy, it’s harder to function after a dry day than after getting wasted.
I just don’t know where to go. The NHS here in the UK didn’t come up with much by way I’d support, so maybe private rehab would be a better option. It will cost me, but perhaps not doing so will cost me more.
Support helps, but knowing what you’re in for is better. That way you can prepare. Reduce any and all stress. Remove triggers as much as possible. Plan to sleep. Plan to do as little as possible.
Early sobriety puts your brain into a concentration camp. You’ll need to treat your brain as gently as you can.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,368
If rehab is an option it's probably worth considering.
You can also do your own legwork to see what other things are around (especially the self referral things) if your Dr has been unhelpful.
https://www.nhs.uk/service-search/Al...ionSearch/1805
https://www.addaction.org.uk
D
You can also do your own legwork to see what other things are around (especially the self referral things) if your Dr has been unhelpful.
https://www.nhs.uk/service-search/Al...ionSearch/1805
https://www.addaction.org.uk
Addaction is a UK-wide treatment agency that helps individuals, families and communities manage the effects of drug and alcohol misuse.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 54
Originally Posted by JPA
Thanks for the words everyone. Since returning home things haven’t been good. I feel like I’m on the cusp of losing my marriage, my kids and...my life. Metaphorically? Definitely. Literally? Possibly, even probably - I don’t know.
My mental state is probably, as of this moment, at an all time low. Things feel like they’re coming at me from so many angles.
Objectively, I know I need to stop drinking. I know that it’s making me ill both physically and mentally. But stopping, even for a day, is an ordeal. I feel anxious, uncomfortable, and unable to sleep. Whenever I’ve made it to day two, the effects have been worse. Zero energy, it’s harder to function after a dry day than after getting wasted.
I just don’t know where to go. The NHS here in the UK didn’t come up with much by way I’d support, so maybe private rehab would be a better option. It will cost me, but perhaps not doing so will cost me more.
My mental state is probably, as of this moment, at an all time low. Things feel like they’re coming at me from so many angles.
Objectively, I know I need to stop drinking. I know that it’s making me ill both physically and mentally. But stopping, even for a day, is an ordeal. I feel anxious, uncomfortable, and unable to sleep. Whenever I’ve made it to day two, the effects have been worse. Zero energy, it’s harder to function after a dry day than after getting wasted.
I just don’t know where to go. The NHS here in the UK didn’t come up with much by way I’d support, so maybe private rehab would be a better option. It will cost me, but perhaps not doing so will cost me more.
I do understand, it’s a joke that you went for help and haven’t got it, just the same with me.
Private detox centre 100% if you have the money or if you withdraw that bad just go to A&E
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
How's it going today, JPA?
It was terrifying to stop drinking, for me, and I got to a life or death point. It sucked. I was very sick and I had to get thru it however I could. The returning to drinking over and over keeps making it worse- look up "kindling" which is something I learned about here.
Making a plan to quit? It's literally and do.not.drink thing at start, and even for awhile- adding action (mine is AA, others do other programs) is critical, but staying sober.every.day is the only thing that will save your life. Literally, figuratively, every way.
It was terrifying to stop drinking, for me, and I got to a life or death point. It sucked. I was very sick and I had to get thru it however I could. The returning to drinking over and over keeps making it worse- look up "kindling" which is something I learned about here.
Making a plan to quit? It's literally and do.not.drink thing at start, and even for awhile- adding action (mine is AA, others do other programs) is critical, but staying sober.every.day is the only thing that will save your life. Literally, figuratively, every way.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: St. Louis, Mo
Posts: 7,334
Originally Posted by JPA
I know now I need to stop if I’m to see my kids grow up, but a life without booze seems so bleak. When I think about it, it’s just monochrome. I’ve quit for a few days before but it was never sustainable. As soon as I’m in the company if anyone drinking, I have to go too.
Ive no idea how to manage that.
Go to rehab. Go to any lengths...because that's what it takes. It's worth the fight. The rewards far outweigh the effort.
You can do this. Remember - it is hard doing this alone. Alcoholism thrives on isolation.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,911
I joined this website in April of 2009. I have over 9,000 posts and I've attended AA meetings for years. I've been sober over 9 years.
You joined this website a year before me and have only 7 posts, primarily in this thread.
If you want to get sober, it's time to get serious.
You've gotten a lot of good advice from others in this thread, who sincerely want you to get sober. The question is, "what do you want?" Good luck with your decision.
You joined this website a year before me and have only 7 posts, primarily in this thread.
If you want to get sober, it's time to get serious.
You've gotten a lot of good advice from others in this thread, who sincerely want you to get sober. The question is, "what do you want?" Good luck with your decision.
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,960
The next step with intolerance is the inability to predict if I will drink one drink and get totally hammered or if I drink a ton of drinks and I won't feel drunk at all, but my body w ill be highly intoxicated. I was in this state for many years. Ouch.
Alcohol was once used as an anesthetic before surgery, so yeah, imminently there will be nerve damage if you keep up the drinking as you are doing now. Not a fun place to be.
You can stop and stay stopped, if you want it more than you want to mess your body and brain up. Your choice, your decision.
Alcohol was once used as an anesthetic before surgery, so yeah, imminently there will be nerve damage if you keep up the drinking as you are doing now. Not a fun place to be.
You can stop and stay stopped, if you want it more than you want to mess your body and brain up. Your choice, your decision.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 3,163
Sassy's post says it all.
I am glad you got home, but sounds like to say got home safe would be a bit of a stretch.
But its a learning - you knew it would be a cluster and it was.
You know your tolerance is going down.
You know you cant drink and stop without consequences.
If reading this thread doesnt make you say today is the day, then you really know you have a problem.
I stopped few years ago, with lots of the same issues as you.
Whenever I think, maybe I could have a few, I am reminded that I am in fact an addict.
Because noone who is not addicted would contemplate going back there, even for a second.
Read this string and make your own conclusion.
You seem like a nice guy who loves his wife and is not a d$che. If you stop now you can have a good life.
Trust us on that.
Then do what it takes.
I am glad you got home, but sounds like to say got home safe would be a bit of a stretch.
But its a learning - you knew it would be a cluster and it was.
You know your tolerance is going down.
You know you cant drink and stop without consequences.
If reading this thread doesnt make you say today is the day, then you really know you have a problem.
I stopped few years ago, with lots of the same issues as you.
Whenever I think, maybe I could have a few, I am reminded that I am in fact an addict.
Because noone who is not addicted would contemplate going back there, even for a second.
Read this string and make your own conclusion.
You seem like a nice guy who loves his wife and is not a d$che. If you stop now you can have a good life.
Trust us on that.
Then do what it takes.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
