least

The way I like to reward myself is by taking my little dog for an extra walk, or giving her a biscuit. Her pleasure is all the reward I need.

Sohard

waynetheking

Hang in there sohard you are doing fine.
For me acceptance was the key as well as praying to my higher power. I just had to get to the point of realizing that alcohol was stronger than me. It was pointless to keep fighting. I was beat. Done. Lights out. I still have the occasional urge but I quickly remind myself that I will not win the battle of alcoholism. It's simple logic.
If I jump off a 10 story building I'm going straight down. No other outcome. So I stay away from the edge. Pointless. So that gives life a chance to move on. There is no more wondering for me. I know the outcome.
I hope this helps.
Acceptance Sohard. You have to embrace it to move on.

Stayingsassy

In sobriety, I was adopted by a tiny, elderly dog. She is so amazing! Completely sweet tiny little lap dog, you can take her anywhere. It was perfect for me because I wanted a lower commitment dog: you know, no yard digging, couch chewing, excessive barking, high energy lots of dog hair etc. this dog is the easiest pet I have ever owned, she could not be more perfect. She is chihuahua according to the vet, but I think she has some toy rat terrier in her too. I have a part time job though so I don’t have to leave her alone much, you have to consider that when you get a pet.

Sohard

waynetheking

So you did not drink over this, right?

Sohard

Sohard

waynetheking

Not worth it. Don't. That's the disease trying to kill you. Trust me on this. You handle your emotions better with a clear head. You know this.
Good job. Stay dry. One day at a time.

Hevyn

Sohard - Drinking will only add to the bad feelings - you don't need another thing to regret. Please be kind to yourself - & as wayne said, keep a clear head to deal with things.

Alysheba

Sohard, I feel for you regarding your father. I lost mine and he was the only one in the family I loved. So, so happy you didn't drink over this. Sometimes anxiety or sadness, even feeling lonely can be a trigger.
You are doing so well. Glad you're back and you are not being foolish regarding the responsibility of owning a pet. It can be the best experience of your life, but it's for life. So make sure you are very committed to owning a pet. You may just love it, but that's why we have so many animals in shelters. Some people can't deal with or even afford their animals. ♥♥♥
Keep on doing so well. I feel so happy for you in that you have stayed sober. Huge accomplishment. ♥♥♥

least

Please don't drink. It will only make things worse and will make you feel terrible.

Yes, a dog is a lot of responsibility but their devotion makes it worth the effort. My Billie is so loving and I am glad I'm sober to take good care of her.

Stayingsassy

I lost my dad in January. It was terribly painful. I had a plan to take care of him, but death came for him before I could live my plan. It was really more of a life dream. To take him in, in his final month or two.

The death of my dad was the death of my relationship with him, of an era gone by, of the comfort of knowing he’d be there for me, always knowing what to say, of the sense of protection and security he always gave me. It felt like the ground had suddenly given way beneath me. It has changed me physically and spiritually. I’m no longer who I was, I am altered, damaged somehow. There’s a big scar. My necessary sobriety tore me up and put me back together and then my father’s death the next year ripped me in half again and I wondered how many times I can be torn before I just can’t be put back together.

It had been awhile since my last drink when dad died, so I didn’t consider it as an option, as I hadn’t considered it as an option from the beginning of the first day with no drinking. But, I said openly to those around me who know I worked to get sober, I can see why people drink in grief.

Yet, I can see why they don’t, too. The task of grief is huge. It’s a big, terrible, monumental task. There’s a dark tunnel we have to pass through. We can’t numb through it or all the complicated stuff never finds resolution. Such as, our deepest regrets around the time of the death. Those regrets need closure, they must be put to bed somehow, but they can’t if we drink them away every time they come up.

You’re still in your grief tunnel, and there is more to do in there. I’m sorry about that. God, I know how dark the tunnel is.

Remember the whole. The whole of your life with him. The delight he felt with your sweet goofiness as a young girl. His big smile when you would hang out with him, just you and him against the world because no one could get how much you understood each other. His life, and the beauty of what you shared with him, is a whole, it is not just the part at the end.

I’m glad you had a dad like mine....

Such lucky daughters we were!!

Daisybelle

Sohard, please don't drink, you'll be so disappointed in yourself if you do. We all say things we don't mean in time of stress and your dad will have known that. Do something that would make him proud...stay sober. You can do it. xx

Dee74

I'm sorry you were sad sohard.
I think all of us have said things we regret - I'm sure your Dad knew the true you and the true way you felt.

I feel sure he'd be proud of you fighting so hard now


D

Sohard

Thank you everybody. Your words yesterday made a big difference to me. I’m so grateful.

Dee74

great going sohard

D

Sohard

Alysheba

It will pass, dear Sohard. Just let some time go by and please don't stop at the bar. I too have a sister that I have problems with and it can really tie you up. I so feel for you. Please let some time pass and maybe take a walk to help you get rid of the stress. Best to you, Aly ♥♥♥

least

Please don't drink. It will only make things worse and will make you feel horrible.