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Old 05-14-2019, 05:17 AM   #21 (permalink)
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Hey GoN - so glad to hear you went.

Like others said, I was sick (huge w/drawals and extended ones at that) and angry and....totally relate to how you feel right now. And, I am another one who was quiet for quite awhile - and wasn't about to try to make friends. I knew AA was my only option at the point I finally quit, but that didn't mean I was ready to "do" or "absorb" much of anything. I had to just sit, and keep coming back.

When are you going back? I promise it is ok to keep showing up however YOU need to, and lots of us are people pleasers too so I get that also! Like our wise friend tomsteve said, it takes time (which is a huge challenge for this alcoholic) and repetition.

Glad you are sharing here too.
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Old 05-14-2019, 02:11 PM   #22 (permalink)
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GoN,
good going on attending that meeting!
next time you go, raise your hand when the chairperson asks if there are any newcomers. you don’t need to speak. just raising your hand is a good-enough indication that you would like some help, and hopefully will result in someone else starting a conversation with you as soon as the meeting is over.
Thank you! Honestly, I was so nervous to do that because I didn't want to to walk to the front to grab a coin! Yikes! I will try to go to another one here this evening. Still don't want to raise my hand. Just getting there and going in is so hard. I am weird.
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Old 05-14-2019, 02:37 PM   #23 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by GoNwithTheFLOW View Post
Thank you! Honestly, I was so nervous to do that because I didn't want to to walk to the front to grab a coin! Yikes! I will try to go to another one here this evening. Still don't want to raise my hand. Just getting there and going in is so hard. I am weird.
you aint weird. i had quite a bit of fear walkin into meetings for some time. that fear was insecurity and low self esteem masked as fear. found that out by workin the steps.
until i learned that i kept having the courage to walk into meetings AND speak.
walkin in got easier as i worked the steps.
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Old 05-14-2019, 03:14 PM   #24 (permalink)
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Go now to AA now and be gentle on yourself. "The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking". Regarding the 12 steps, keep your focus on Step 1. It saved my life, I couldn't have gotten sober on my own. A big hug.
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Old 05-14-2019, 06:35 PM   #25 (permalink)
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Hey GoN - so glad to hear you went

When are you going back?
Well I went to my second one this evening. Just got home. It was a bit different because it was all women and a speaker. A little less pressure. I am exhausted but I haven't drank! Tomorrow will be day 4. I think I will go to work and maybe relax on the idea of attending a meeting tomorrow. Just kind of want to work and come home and watch TV with my cat. Ha. Still no friends yet... Thank you everyone for the support. I feel it here more than anywhere else in my life.
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Old 05-14-2019, 07:17 PM   #26 (permalink)
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hey, that is 3 days!!
relaxing on the idea of a meeting....know why you are wanting that.
what i mean is along these lines: is it seriously overstress time wise, or is it about running away from the discomfort and anxiety about going?
friends...they don’t just ‘happen’; there is a reason it is called ‘making friends’. it implies we need to do something, put ourselves out, act.
you know what i’m saying
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Old 05-15-2019, 04:00 AM   #27 (permalink)
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fini has the same thoughts as myself.
the thread was started with talk of withdrawls,then wishing to go to a detox center,talk of insecurities,fears,low self esteem......and now want to sit back,watch tv, and spend time with cat.
if you truly wantto stop drinking for good,yer gonna have to discipline yourself to do the actions for recovery. tv and cat time arent actions for recovery.
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AA Thought for the Day
Keeping sober is the most important thing in my life. The most important decision I ever made was my decision to give up drinking. I am convinced that my whole life depends on not taking that first drink. Nothing in the world is as important to me as my own sobriety. Everything I have, my whole life, depends on that one thing.

Can I afford ever to forget this, even for one minute?

Meditation for the Day
I will discipline myself. I will do this disciplining now. I will turn out all useless thoughts. I know that the goodness of my life is a necessary foundation for its usefulness. I will welcome this training, for without it God cannot give me this power. I believe that this power is a mighty power when it is used in the right way.

Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may face and accept whatever discipline is necessary. I pray that I may be fit to receive God’s power in my life.
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Old 05-15-2019, 05:39 AM   #28 (permalink)
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hey, that is 3 days!!
relaxing on the idea of a meeting....know why you are wanting that.
what i mean is along these lines: is it seriously overstress time wise, or is it about running away from the discomfort and anxiety about going?
friends...they don’t just ‘happen’; there is a reason it is called ‘making friends’. it implies we need to do something, put ourselves out, act.
you know what i’m saying
What fini said!!

I was told early on "go to a meeting when you want to, and when you don't want to - just go." That proved to be really wise advice- still does here at 3+ yr when I kinda sorta don't want to go, want to do something else, etc....learning to identify "WHY" I wasn't inclined to go is something important.

Also, just my experience, no one was going to "make" me speak or get a chip - I never got a white one. Now, I know I never will because I don't have a relapse in me. And, IMO, it is perfectly OK to say "Pass" if you find yourself in a meeting where it goes around in a circle to talk (which I greatly dislike). Womens' mtgs are a great fit for plenty of us (mens' too) - not me, but my now-friends often talk about finding a niche there.

I'd also suggest you keep going to different kinds of meetings- open discussion and newcomers were good for me at first, but I really didn't know what each one was - I went to the same time every day bc it fit in my schedule. I only gradually learned to experience different mtgs on purpose, and mainly as my schedule had to change around work - but I have always found time to go.

Other stuff on top of whatever recovery program you choose is great- but putting it as add-on not instead of is how I have found continued sobriety. Which reminds me I need to go to 3 mtgs the rest of this wk to be on my track!!
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Old 05-15-2019, 06:19 AM   #29 (permalink)
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It' still amazing to me how I can think I am so unique in how I feel and then I keep going to meetings, stay sober, listen and share when I'm ready and find that everyone felt the same way. Different stages of life but life just the same. I also keep in the forefront of my mind, "don't drink no matter what." The meetings, steps, recovery, wisdom and experience of sober people, etc. helps me to do this. You are a miracle.
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Old 05-15-2019, 11:29 AM   #30 (permalink)
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Congrats on going to meetings and sticking with your sobriety.

For me, it is a life and death matter and not just a quality of life issue.

Please keep coming back to meetings.

Nothing, including AA meetings, are fun when you are withdrawing from alcohol.

The meetings, and life generally, get better once you have been successfully separated from alcohol.

Please continue to keep us posted and, as we say in AA, keep coming back.
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Old 05-15-2019, 11:16 PM   #31 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by GoNwithTheFLOW View Post
Thank you! Honestly, I was so nervous to do that because I didn't want to to walk to the front to grab a coin! Yikes! I will try to go to another one here this evening. Still don't want to raise my hand. Just getting there and going in is so hard. I am weird.
Great job!
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Old 06-12-2019, 05:39 PM   #32 (permalink)
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Sitting Pretty at 31 Days

Hello All.
One month into sobriety. I feel very proud of myself and much better mentally. Since my OP I've attended numerous meetings. My next goal is to work with a sponsor tackling the steps one by one. I consider this a big step because I must be able to trust. Things have been easier, being able to turn them over to my higher power- God. I know there is only so much I can do and I am so thankful that he has led me this far.
I have to say the hardest part is talking to my friends that are not sober as well as the loneliness. Regardless, this is my life and I have to choose this way of life for my well being. I hope everyone has been doing good. I have really enjoyed the continued reading on here. So thankful for everyone.

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Old 06-12-2019, 07:50 PM   #33 (permalink)
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You should be proud of yourself! That is awesome. Keep doing the deal and you will have a much better life. The solution is in the steps. Super cool to see how far you have come in 30 days.
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Old 06-13-2019, 01:43 AM   #34 (permalink)
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So glad I checked in and saw your last post GoN!!! Great going so far.

Getting a sponsor is indeed really important. I actually didn't get my first one til 97 days, which is probably "late" compared to many. Like I said earlier on this thread, I knew I was committed to AA and as I listened for "those who have what I want," I mentally worked steps 1-3. As in, 1 was abundantly clear bc I had a life or death choice and (part b) my life was a complete disaster, which is the understated use of "unmangeable" to say the least. I began them for real with that first sponsor and I credit her with my education and understanding of the first 164 pp of the BB. (As far as 2 and 3, I had always believed in God yet I had gone farrrrr away from my understanding of Him - I've since evolved greatly in my spiritual beliefs).

The steps are a process and I have found, as I was just talking to my current sponsor about yesterday, that as my sober time builds, I keep discovering layers to them (I have 1207 days, or 3 yr 3 mo and change).

The key part is to keep going back, keep being open (willing!) to learn and stay sober, and keep moving forward in the step work. It is indeed a leap of faith (which you call trust) to begin working one on one with someone else. You've gotten over that huge first leap by starting the program a month ago!! You've got some muscles to take the next one.

So glad you are here.
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