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11 days 22 hours.

Old 04-09-2019, 07:07 PM
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11 days 22 hours.

Hello everyone, I am almost 12 days sober after drinking a little more than a fifth of Jeagermeister every night for the last 2.5 years. I swear that crap is in a category of its own. I'm not even sure if I'm addicted to alcohol as much as I just am Jaeger. I can literally have a fridge full of beer or any other spirit and not want to touch it.

I'm 42 years old, started drinking young, but was mostly a social drinker for the majority of my life, until I lost my mother in July of 2016 and my wife lost her mother (who was like a mother to me) suddenly just 4 months later.

Im here to read, to interact and to share. I'm not yet in a program, and honestly don't know if I want to go that route. I have pretty severe social anxiety, and the idea of being in a room of folks, no matter how much we have in common almost seems like more of a trigger than a benifit as of this moment.

As far as detoxing, after reading here the last few nights, I guess I had it pretty easy so far. I did end up in the ER with some blood pressure concerns night 3,but some meds, some fluids, potassium and a little Ativan and I was sent home.

My struggle is odd. During the day, regardless of if I'm off, or at work, I'm literally fine. No cravings. Went to the zoo today and walked almost 3 miles,but every evening, around 7,my normal start drinking time, man the cravings are pretty intense. The busier I stay, the easier it is, but I'm not sure that's a sustainable plan.

Regardless, I'm in it for the long haul, in the last 2.5 years, I've gained close to 100lbs,and my blood pressure sucks. I'm following up with my doctor next week to make him aware of my situation.

I am a little scatter brained, but not like I was hung over everyday, so there's that. I'm glad this place exists, It looks to be a valuable tool to learn and share.
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Old 04-09-2019, 08:04 PM
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Hello and welcome.
I agree Jaeger is a beast unto itself. I can still taste it ten years sober.
You've found a great place for support so I hope you stick around.
And congratulations on your almost twelve days.
Sounds to me like you're trying to formulate a plan, and that's great.
I never had a plan, I just decided to quit and I was a bad drunk.

Best to you in sobriety.
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Old 04-10-2019, 08:59 AM
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Welcome to SR Ktulu. Glad you've made the decision to quit - I can pretty much guarantee no one has ever regretted the decision to NOT drink ;-)

The alcohol in Jaeger is exactly the same as what's in beer or wine or whisky...so that's likely your addiction telling you that its 'just the jaeger". I was quite successful in destroying most good things around me just by drinking beer - and drinking mostly at home at night. So it's also likely your addiction trying to tell you that it wasn't so bad compared to others.

As far as recovery goes, group meetings are only one of many options. There are recovery plans that are very personal and there are communities like SR that are virtual. There's therapy and counseling too - and if you have anxiety i'd highly recommend at least talking with a counselor for an initial assessment - I waited until I was in my mid 40s to do so and wish I would have done it far sooner. There are a whole host of ways to make anxiety more manageable.

But again - welcome and I hope you can join us for some more conversation!
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Old 04-10-2019, 02:13 PM
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Hiya, you’re a day ahead of me! Well done for making the intital step and finding this place.
i find it useful.
Welcome to message me. It’s the hardest at the beginning. I did. 3 months then stupidly caved at a festival as thought one night off would be fine but it wasn’t. A year flies by!
Im determined this time and fully aware that I can’t have one night off.
it would be worth you trying 5htps (run past doctor trough) they’re simply amazing for anxiety and depression.
ive forced myself into a fitness programme. (This was intially to help me get over heartbreak) but it’s helping on different levels now. I’m getting stronger, I have something else to focus on. I’m less keen to put toxins and empty calories in my body, so it’s lead me to quit again (along with another terrifying blackout).
Fitness would be a great way for you to focus on something else, and also help overcome your anxiety.
believe me, I’ve been really uncomfortable going into these training sessions (weights classes) but you’re all busy doing something (so it’s easier than sitting in a circle) and I’m only 2 weeks in really and I feel so very different!
i also recommend using YouTube as a resource. Listening to positive affirmations and doing sleep hypnosis (honestly they’re amazing!!!) and the sleep hypnosis tells your subconscious mind you’re amazing whilst you sleep! #awesome!
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Old 04-10-2019, 04:42 PM
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Welcome to SR ktulu909

D
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Old 04-10-2019, 07:20 PM
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Thanks for the warm welcome everyone, still staying strong, spent my day off walking at the zoo, then went and joined the gym. Starting off slow, but losing all this liquor weight and being active with my kids like I used to is a hell of a motivational tool.

My only struggle right now are evenings. I just wish it was consistant. Like I wish it was hardest at the beginning and got a little less.... Um suck.... every day after that. It doesn't. The first 4 or 5 days were actually not bad on the cravings, but that might be because I felt terrible physically. Now that I'm almost 2 weeks in, sleep is starting to slowly get back to normal, even though it's very light and I wake easily, I have managed a few uninterrupted nights.

I have a little app on my phone that encourages me and give me badges for milestones, and as lame as it seems, it's really a pretty good motivator. As I was typing this, I just got my "passed up 75 drinks" badge. Only being 13 days sober, man that's alot,but it's still a win, and I'll take it!
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Old 04-10-2019, 07:42 PM
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Welcome to the family. I hope our support can help you stay sober.
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Old 04-11-2019, 05:55 PM
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Tonight at 12:15 am will mark my 2 week point. Today is a good day so far, I'm discovering on the days I work out, the cravings are MUCH MUCH more tolerable, tonight almost non existant. I have a long road ahead, but not even with the rough nights, the cravings, have I considered relenting to them. This is a decision I made for myself and no one else,and one I'm personally proud of. I know not every day will be a good day, but this site, among other tools, will hopefully prepare me to properly handle the not so good days.

Last edited by ktulu909; 04-11-2019 at 05:56 PM. Reason: Misworded
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Old 04-12-2019, 04:20 AM
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Sounds like you've got your head on straight about this sober thing, ktulu. You should be proud, you're on the right track and doing great!

We'd be glad to have you in the counting thread if you ever want to drop by, where we all keep track of our sober days. Just had a 9 year celebration in there, that's what doing it right each and every sober day can do!
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Old 04-12-2019, 04:56 AM
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Congrats on 2 weeks Ktulu
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Old 04-12-2019, 06:18 AM
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Exercise (and the zoo) were huge tools in my sober toolbox. I really enjoy walking and hiking and animals are calming for me so I spent quite a lot of time outdoors. Still do.

Well done so far. No one promised easy, but it is entirely in your power.
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Old 04-13-2019, 07:52 PM
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Thanks everyone, tonight is rough from a cravings standpoint, but I'm not giving in, I promise. Had an ultra demanding, long, hot day at work. It's the first night I've been alone at the house in so long I can't remember. Fired up the 3d printer, but it appears to be printing perfectly, which normally is a great thing, but I'm a tinkerer, so I kinda wish there was something for me to tweak on it, but alas, it works as it's intended.

The weather outside is about to get pretty rough, so a trip to the gym isn't really a solid option until tomorrow,so Ill have to make due with something to occupy me. Guess it's time to fire up netflix. Good night all. 15 days and 22 hours strong.
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Old 04-13-2019, 10:16 PM
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Originally Posted by ktulu909 View Post
Thanks everyone, tonight is rough from a cravings standpoint, but I'm not giving in, I promise. Had an ultra demanding, long, hot day at work. It's the first night I've been alone at the house in so long I can't remember. Fired up the 3d printer, but it appears to be printing perfectly, which normally is a great thing, but I'm a tinkerer, so I kinda wish there was something for me to tweak on it, but alas, it works as it's intended.

The weather outside is about to get pretty rough, so a trip to the gym isn't really a solid option until tomorrow,so Ill have to make due with something to occupy me. Guess it's time to fire up netflix. Good night all. 15 days and 22 hours strong.
Great job on your 16 days!! Kudos to you! Keep doing what you’re doing and stay strong!!

Wishing you the best!!
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Old 04-17-2019, 12:22 PM
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how are you today ktulu909 ?

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Old 04-17-2019, 09:43 PM
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I'm doing OK, still battling cravings in the evening, but doing really well to keep busy. I'm about 35 minutes from 3 weeks since my last drink. Things haven't been all rosey at all, while I've only been drinking daily for a few years, I've been drinking total since I was 15,so the hardest part is kinda relearning how to live life without mind altering substances.

My biggest challenge will come Friday night, going to see a band I love at a brand new venue and while I never drank to get drunk at concerts, I still drank to loosen up a little. Don't remember the last time I saw a show sober. Maybe Nirvana in 93?
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Old 04-17-2019, 10:06 PM
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Gotta be honest ktulu - 3 weeks sober and a concert was not something I could have done.

I've seen it done tho, so best wishes.

My advice is go with a plan Ktulu - think about the various situations you might be in before you get into them, and especially have an escape plan if things get too hard,

D
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Old 04-18-2019, 01:07 AM
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Seeing a band, core yeah that’s difficult! I’ve cancelled all upcoming gigs and festivals as I know these are triggers for me. I’m seeing skunk anansie end of August, think I’ll have been dry enough for long enough to find it easier by then. But anything in the next few months is cancelled, as I’m only 18 days in. Hope you managed it ok! Still sober?
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Old 04-18-2019, 08:35 AM
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Show isn't until tomorrow night. Honestly, because I'm also pretty stingy, I never was a big drinker at concerts, I'd have a few, but nothing out of control, and it's a band I love (Chevelle) so I think I'll be good. I think it's a good thing, since when I'm engaged with something, my urges are way more manageable. I'd have a better chance of relapsing staying home, because I would be pissed I didn't go lol. Thanks for all the support everyone, I won't be letting myself or anyone else down.
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Old 04-22-2019, 06:17 PM
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Hey folks, still here, still sober. The concert was eye opening, while I have no regrets about going, it was tougher than I thought it would be, but not for the reasons I originally thought. Mostly because there were some really really sloshed "bros" right next to and behind us that were fall down drunk before the show even started. That in itself wasn't the problem, the fact that they kept bumping into and spilling on my wife and I was the real thing that got to me, but I think it just made me angry more than made me want a drink. The group of them wound up getting tossed out about 5 songs in for fighting, so after that, all went pretty smooth once I was able to just let go and focus on the show.

It was pretty eye opening to see how many of the antendees of a concert drink down here, had to be 75 percent plus, not something I would have paid any attention to back when I was imbibing.

Anyways, still at it, still strong, and almost a month in.
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Old 04-24-2019, 04:17 PM
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Ah yes. The drunken concert-goers.
I now find them so annoying.
Well done. You are doing great.
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