FoodDude

It's been 4 years since I had my last drink. Today I feel odd, my wife and kids take me out on milestone days. Today was no different, except today I felt different. my friends and family are always telling me how strong I am for quitting and staying sober. I felt like I was celebrating a weakness not a strength. Sure it takes strength to stay sober when you are and alcoholic, but it seems like I wouldn't need the strength to stay sober if I was not weak to begin with. My life is so much better now and I have no desire to drink... today was just... weird

Anyone else ever feel this?

Dee74

Although in some circles the terms are synonymous I think weakness and addiction are actually two entirely separate things.

I'm not a weak person, but I was/am very much addicted.

It took great strength to dig myself out of the hole I was in. I exopect it did for you too

If I start thinking of addiction as a weakness, I start to lose my sense of agency (will, choice) and personal responsibility, and - for me - I'd be one step closer to relapse.

Congrats on 4 years - you deserve kudos

D

trailmix

Congratulations!

Take your celebration, you absolutely deserve it.

jimmyJlover

In short, no. In fact I've always viewed those who've dealt with addiction through recovery and maintaining sobriety (or whatever you want to call it) pretty damn strong. Actually the furtherest from weak. But on a personal level...I could see where you're coming from.

Anyways, congrats and be proud.

ScottFromWI

I think there's always a bit of your addiction that wants you to think that quitting was a bad idea. Your situation today might just be one of those - but you of course know that it's not true, what you've done has nothing but positive for everyone involved, especially you. Congrats on 4 years and enjoy your time with the family!

SnazzyDresser

Congrats on 4 years sober, FoodDude! I'd say that's something to be proud of, reclaiming your life. I know I'm sure proud of my 2+, it wasn't always a piece of cake ya know! Or easy as pie either.

AAPJ

Hi FoodDude. Congratulations on 4 years. When I read a post from someone like you with long term success I would appreciate knowing how you succeeded. What did you do in the first year? AA or this forum or rehab or something else? Secondly what do you do today to maintain your sobriety? Is it different from what you did in your first year? Thanks for any insight you can provide.

Gottalife

I guess when I landed in the bottom of the alcoholic pit, I was defeated, beaten, and lacked the power to get out. Self reliance had failed so I suppose that I was in a state of weakness.

Then through action and faith I found a source of power that has sustained me in sobriety no matter what. On my own I amounted to nothing. Connected to the Power, the sky's the limit.

Surlyredhead

Congratulations!

kinzoku

Congratulations!

It could just be you aren't enjoying the way these sober dates are framed, you can handle them however you want, or not celebrate them at all.

I get how that can be. It's not like I enjoy celebrating my birthdays and getting older either!

FoodDude

Yes it was quite the hole and it was quite the challenge digging out.

Thanks for the great words! And for the kudos!

PhoenixJ

weakness?

nah, not for me...addiction is an illness process- but I get what you mean

FoodDude

thank you!

FoodDude

Thank you!



Yeah, it was just an odd day.

FoodDude

Thanks!

FoodDude

Thank you and... Exactly!

FoodDude

Thanks, definitely not a bad idea!

FoodDude

This is a long story, I was given an ultimatum. I had tried and failed as many do a few times before. The one that stuck was my wife. At the time we were married for 25 years, we still love each other but she was done with my B.S. It was the booze or her. I made the right choice and picked her. I used the weening process (I don't really recommend it but it worked for me), I work in the medical field and being that I was afraid of the stigma of admitting my alcoholism I decided to do it on my own. I found out later that I would have been well taken care of by my employers but of course I was not thinking straight. I had no support but my VERY understanding and willing wife. I don't have much to offer as I never went to a meeting, never did rehab and I didn't find this forum until I was a couple years sober. I guess I was just done. Close to losing my family and my career made me need to get clean.



Words to live by!

AAPJ

Thanks for the reply. I will disagree with your assessment though. You have a lot to offer by telling us how you quit. I think what you are saying is that the love for your wife won out over your love for alcohol. I appreciate this. Unfortunately for many spouses their love is not enough. If you want some gratitude just check out the posts on the F&F forum.

At least for me this whole thread is terrific.

Thanks again!

FoodDude

Point taken. Everyone is different, my path was far from structured but it worked for me. It was my 3rd try. I never say never but I think it stuck this time.