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New here since 2008. I'm here again because you guys/gals rock and I know you can help me again =)

Old 03-12-2019, 07:18 AM
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New here since 2008. I'm here again because you guys/gals rock and I know you can help me again =)

Last time i was here, about 2008 roughly.. I did my first ever sober month with the help of this forum, which for me was an incredible feat. I was a very bad drunk back then, to the point I nearly went to jail. I am getting older and the body doesn't handle it as well. I am a very functional alcoholic, only 1 day off work in 3 years. I am a lot more civilized now but I am drinking too much, and I know it is killing me. I blame my work for my drinking but when I have easy days, I "celebrate" easy days. I'm sure we have all been through it. I know it is ********. I need to get healthy again. I know this page is all about giving up, but I just want to get a foot in the door, get back on the right path. I know there are some of you that have been in my foot steps, I hope you can understand and help me get back on that path to a better me. Thanks in advance xo
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Old 03-12-2019, 08:38 AM
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Originally Posted by ThaBadGuyx View Post
Last time i was here, about 2008 roughly.. I did my first ever sober month with the help of this forum, which for me was an incredible feat. I was a very bad drunk back then, to the point I nearly went to jail. I am getting older and the body doesn't handle it as well. I am a very functional alcoholic, only 1 day off work in 3 years. I am a lot more civilized now but I am drinking too much, and I know it is killing me. I blame my work for my drinking but when I have easy days, I "celebrate" easy days. I'm sure we have all been through it. I know it is ********. I need to get healthy again. I know this page is all about giving up, but I just want to get a foot in the door, get back on the right path. I know there are some of you that have been in my foot steps, I hope you can understand and help me get back on that path to a better me. Thanks in advance xo
Are you binge drinking every day? If you are drinking more than 4-5 drinks a day you will have withdrawal symptoms. What do you mean by a ďa foot in the doorĒ. Cutting back on drinking overall? Cutting back on drinking days? Managing to ease up on it before quitting?

I canít advise on that, because it didnít work for me. Nothing short of full stop worked. Otherwise,my addiction just stayed in full rage mode, even if I wanted to drink less, I couldnít.

To keep my job and workout schedule while drinking I kept to certain days off during the week. Iíd sweat, shake, and damned near have heart attacks, but I had to stop sometimes or Iíd lose my job. Things got worse anyway.

I canít help you with getting a foot in the door. I can do my best to help you quit, though.
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Old 03-12-2019, 12:19 PM
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Welcome back TBG, glad to hear that you recognize the problem and are seeking help - that's a big part of the battle. And rather than blaming anyone or anything for your drinking, accepting that you simply need to quit can take you a lot farther.

Hope you can stick around and do some reading and sharing . You are definitely in the right place!
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Old 03-12-2019, 01:39 PM
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So glad you are back! I recommend not drinking one day at a time, which was critical for me in early recovery. Just don't drink today, come here and share about it. We're here to cheer you on. Big hug!
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Old 03-12-2019, 03:40 PM
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Welcome back.
I never needed much of an excuse to drink. I was a bad alcoholic, too. Fortunately, I haven't drank in ten years. This place has helped me a lot as did AA.
I have, indeed, been in your footsteps.
I also don't understand by getting your foot in the door, maybe you can elaborate.
Are you trying to quit? Or moderate?
Moderation never worked for me. I had to get my whole body through the door to sobriety.
If that's what you're trying to do, quit, you're in the right place, as you well know.
We're here to help.
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Old 03-13-2019, 04:12 AM
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Originally Posted by Stayingsassy View Post
Are you binge drinking every day? If you are drinking more than 4-5 drinks a day you will have withdrawal symptoms. What do you mean by a ďa foot in the doorĒ. Cutting back on drinking overall? Cutting back on drinking days? Managing to ease up on it before quitting?

I canít advise on that, because it didnít work for me. Nothing short of full stop worked. Otherwise,my addiction just stayed in full rage mode, even if I wanted to drink less, I couldnít.

To keep my job and workout schedule while drinking I kept to certain days off during the week. Iíd sweat, shake, and damned near have heart attacks, but I had to stop sometimes or Iíd lose my job. Things got worse anyway.

I canít help you with getting a foot in the door. I can do my best to help you quit, though.
I drink between 4 - 6 days a week for the last few months and consume 14 - 30 drinks a night. Probably average 20 drinks though. Only withdrawals I have on days off is I feel my skin crawling a bit for a night or 2 when trying to sleep. I understand most people are here to quit entirely.

Regarding the foot in the door, at this moment in time i'd like to gain a better mindset and just get more time sober and go from there. How I see it, any extra time sober is better than none. Thank you for you post it is much appreciated.
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Old 03-13-2019, 04:13 AM
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Originally Posted by ScottFromWI View Post
Welcome back TBG, glad to hear that you recognize the problem and are seeking help - that's a big part of the battle. And rather than blaming anyone or anything for your drinking, accepting that you simply need to quit can take you a lot farther.

Hope you can stick around and do some reading and sharing . You are definitely in the right place!
Thanks Scott! I definitely plan to stick around for a bit.
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Old 03-13-2019, 04:14 AM
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Originally Posted by NYCDoglvr View Post
So glad you are back! I recommend not drinking one day at a time, which was critical for me in early recovery. Just don't drink today, come here and share about it. We're here to cheer you on. Big hug!
Wise words NYC, thank you
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Old 03-13-2019, 04:22 AM
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Originally Posted by Ghostlight1 View Post
Welcome back.
I never needed much of an excuse to drink. I was a bad alcoholic, too. Fortunately, I haven't drank in ten years. This place has helped me a lot as did AA.
I have, indeed, been in your footsteps.
I also don't understand by getting your foot in the door, maybe you can elaborate.
Are you trying to quit? Or moderate?
Moderation never worked for me. I had to get my whole body through the door to sobriety.
If that's what you're trying to do, quit, you're in the right place, as you well know.
We're here to help.
Thanks Ghostlight and congrats on 10 years, Regarding the foot in the door, just get into the right mindset, and begin with moderation. Just take some steps. I dont know if I will give up altogether but I think any extra time sober will be better than none. I understand that the moderation thing doesn't last, for now I'd like to keep practicing and learning from you all.

My biggest struggle is boredom, at least that is what I think it is. I have a lot to do but everything seems to bore me. Do we have any good threads on how we deal with that you may be able to link me to? I'm going to do some browsing over the week anyway.
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Old 03-13-2019, 04:54 AM
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Part of recovery is having a plan to "go to" when cravings hit from your triggers like: hunger, anger, lonliness, tiredness and in your case BORDOM.
You need to take drinking off the table. It is not an option. Can you get a medical detox? It would be the best way to get started in your recovery. Walk through the door that you "put your foot in" and reclaim your life. Start now before the alcohol abuse kills you.
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Old 03-13-2019, 05:13 AM
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Originally Posted by ChloeRose63 View Post
Part of recovery is having a plan to "go to" when cravings hit from your triggers like: hunger, anger, lonliness, tiredness and in your case BORDOM.
You need to take drinking off the table. It is not an option. Can you get a medical detox? It would be the best way to get started in your recovery. Walk through the door that you "put your foot in" and reclaim your life. Start now before the alcohol abuse kills you.
Thanks Chloe, I havent heard of a medical detox, but I will ask my dr about it this weekend.
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Old 03-13-2019, 05:30 AM
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The best and safest way to detox is medical. It assures that your withdrawl is safe. An IV gives you fluids and meds so you do not seizure and your body/mind can rest and eliminate the poisons. Your vitals are monitored especially blood pressure. The "shakes" and dt's are controlled. Please tell you doctor about the amount of drinking you have done and that you DO NOT want to go through withdrawls without supervision.
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Old 03-13-2019, 08:29 AM
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Originally Posted by ChloeRose63 View Post
The best and safest way to detox is medical. It assures that your withdrawl is safe. An IV gives you fluids and meds so you do not seizure and your body/mind can rest and eliminate the poisons. Your vitals are monitored especially blood pressure. The "shakes" and dt's are controlled. Please tell you doctor about the amount of drinking you have done and that you DO NOT want to go through withdrawls without supervision.
Thanks Chloe, I think I am safe regarding severe withdrawals, mine are usually mild. I usually only get bad withdrawals when I drink upwards of 80 drinks within 3 days with little sleep. I will still look into this detox, it sounds good!
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Old 03-13-2019, 08:41 AM
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Originally Posted by ThaBadGuyx View Post
Regarding the foot in the door, just get into the right mindset, and begin with moderation. Just take some steps. I dont know if I will give up altogether but I think any extra time sober will be better than none. I understand that the moderation thing doesn't last, for now I'd like to keep practicing and learning from you all.
TBG, i, too, liked to keep practicing moderation, as that kept drinking in my life. and i practiced and practiced and practiced, and never got perfect!
at moderation, that is.
what i learned from decades of practicing was that forever abstinence is the way for me.
and i've never regretted knowing that and finally following through.

sounds like you've already done a lot of practicing in your life, but maybe are not convinced by the results you've seen so far?
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Old 03-13-2019, 09:02 AM
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Hi, TBG, and welcome back to the forums.

In my six years not drinking and being a member here at SoberRecovery, I have seen a lot of failures at moderation. I can see now that people who drink as much as we do cannot moderate.

I hope you keep coming here for support! Also know that there is probably an AA group near you, and you are welcome at "open" meetings ("closed" meetings are for those who have a desire to stop drinking).
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Old 03-13-2019, 05:24 PM
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Originally Posted by ThaBadGuyx View Post
Thanks Ghostlight and congrats on 10 years, Regarding the foot in the door, just get into the right mindset, and begin with moderation. Just take some steps. I dont know if I will give up altogether but I think any extra time sober will be better than none. I understand that the moderation thing doesn't last, for now I'd like to keep practicing and learning from you all.

My biggest struggle is boredom, at least that is what I think it is. I have a lot to do but everything seems to bore me. Do we have any good threads on how we deal with that you may be able to link me to? I'm going to do some browsing over the week anyway.

Of course any time off drinking will be welcomed by every cell in your body.

However... (you knew there’d be a however, right?) at 14-30 drinks 4-6 times a week, you’ve got a severe addiction. I’m not blinking at the amounts. That kind of alcohol intake is very, very familiar to me.

When you stop drinking, the craving for alcohol disappears in tiny dribs and drabs over a year. Then you begin to heal. Any amount of drinking keeps the addiction alive. If you’ve maybe dribbled away oh, 25% of your craving over six months of sobriety, and still have 75% of your cravings, you will feel like damn will this craving ever leave?? It feels like it will never leave! Forget it! Then you drink again because you feel cursed, but the truth is, you did make progress, it was just too small to see it. Make it a year....14 months...and miraculously, you will begin to forget that you ever wanted alcohol. Why? Because that was long enough to get the dribs and drabs of craving banishing to 65%, or 75%. Then it feels like wow, I can do this. I can easily be sober, because now I just don’t crave it much anymore.

Honestly my alcoholic friend, your hands are tied here. If you’re doing another attempt at moderation, you will have the same results from moderation you always had before. Quit for two weeks...return to binge drinking. Quit for 30 days...return to binge drinking.

It isn’t going to work. Please be safe with your drinking, man, so many people are ending up dead on the road or in the hospital, lately. It’s an epidemic.

Quitting drinking for an alcoholic? Is like undertaking a plan to lose 100lbs. When that person loses 10, but they’ve worked their ass off for a month or two, it’s easy to feel discouraged, its also easy for that person and everyone around them to see exactly how far they have to go. It’s not impossible to lose 100lbs. Many people do it. But it’s a huge commitment. the alcoholic getting sober often has the same long road ahead, but without the reminder that he/she needs more time to really make progress. It’s harder to see. It’s harder to understand, its less concrete. So the alcoholic gives up.

They’ve done research on how far you have to go to be fully sober and happy about it. It happens, but it takes time, and people give up too early. 78% relapse rate for alcoholics. Grim, but you can see why it happens.
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Old 03-14-2019, 05:42 AM
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Thanks, I hear you guys. Honestly, the thought of giving up entirely scares me. I feel soo bored and boring as a person. I am a boring person, and I dont like it when it comes to social occasions. I don't doubt some of you may have also felt this. It sucks, where I live there arent any local A.A type setups and the ones available are during working hours. Alcohol councelling costs here are beyond my pay bracket. I feel I would do better in a group as well, having peer support and people I can relate to and experience the journey with. I know there is always a way to achieve anything. I am just scared and I need to find that path.
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Old 03-14-2019, 05:44 AM
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Will be starting a 14 day sober period this Saturday so I will be on here most days and very active. Really appreciate you all
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Old 03-15-2019, 06:58 PM
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Welcome back!
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