Sober life rocks!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Denmark
Posts: 257
Sober life rocks!
So, I've been sober for 1,5 years and a bit, and I though I wanted to post about my experience and how sober life is, for me!
I'm the kind of guy who never felt at home in my own skin, as a kid, before I started drinking I was shy, having extremely low self esteem and I never felt I measured up, and always felt like an outsider - so when I discovered alcohol I felt like it was a magic cure for me, I could set myself free, felt alright among other people - I partied, made friends and had a lot of fun - for a few years, but already from my late teens alcohol took control of my life even though I didn't know it, and through 15 years of self destruction it ruined pretty much every aspect of my life until I became the sorry, unwashed, antisocial drunk drinking alone for weeks in a row, not showering, not eating, just slowly destroying myself.
The main reason I loved drinking was because it made it possible for me to socialize. I just could not enjoy other people's company when sober, and through all the years of drinking it got worse, when I had sober days I just could not stand being around people, especially in festive settings like parties, festivals and concerts. I just had to get drunk!
But on the other hand, I could not stand being alone over longer periods of time. I couldn't stand my own company. On weekdays, when I was working I could manage, but I could not make it through the weekend without either heading out to drink, or start drinking on my own (unfortunately, I could not stop as Monday arrived - leading to a lot of job losses)...
When I finally quit drinking in August 2017, I'd once again wrecked and knocked every bit of self esteem out of myself.. But I made it to an AA meeting, got myself a sponsor and started working the steps.
Now, 1,5 years sober my life has changed in ways I could not imagine.
I just spend last weekend at a heavy metal festival, the kind of event where people drink beer all the time, and I would have been completely unable to make it though the weekend without getting wasted just a few years ago. And even if I'd made it there sober,I would have hated it, felt uncomfortable and just hidden away in the corner, feeling way too shy to pick up a conversation or be a part of the party.
But this weekend I had a blast! A lot of people I know from back in the day were there, and I noticed people like hanging out with me, talking, laughing, telling jokes, enjoying the music. Some people drank, some didn't. Some were jolly drunk, others completely sober. Out of 400 people I only saw 2-3 annoyingly drunk people. I didn't care much, those who can drink and handle it should bloody well do so, or it would be a waste of talent
But what I noticed most of all was that this idea of not measuring up and not being part of, that I carried inside for all these years - was just in my head. The idea I needed to drink to be around people was just in my head.
People wanted to talk to me, where ever I went people came over to say hi and talk - and I tell you, this festival was so much more enjoyable than any I attended drunk! And I was even more a part of it than before, because I was mentally present all the time!
And another great thing in my life is, that I can also be alone and feel good. I have serenity. Currently I am unable to work because of a back injury, but it's not problem for me spending my days at home, with myself enjoying a good book or walking in the forest.
I go to a lot of AA meetings, but not because I feel I have to because I can't stand being alone - I go because I love being there, I have friends, and I feel I have something to offer for newcomers and my sponsee.
I could easily portray my 1,5 years sober in a negative way; I broke up with my GF, I lost a job, then having just gotten a new job I really liked, I hurt my back so bad I can't work for a while - but all that is not that important - because I've been given such precious gifts - I can stand being a part of life - my own life, and the life that goes on among other people! This gift, I never had before as long as I remember, apart from in that awfully short interval between starting to drink and getting too drunk...
ANd another gift I got from sobriety I did not expect; I always liked writing poetry and though I was pretty good at it, and I always had a dream of trying to make music to the words I write - but I can't play, and I never met any musicians I thought I could work with...
A little while ago my AA sponsor saw some poetry I'd written, and he came with the suggestion we should start a project - he is a very skilled blues/jazz pianist - so now I have started a poetry/music project with my sponsor, and we just recorded our first track yesterday - it's great fun and a great feeling working creatively together like this!
I'm the kind of guy who never felt at home in my own skin, as a kid, before I started drinking I was shy, having extremely low self esteem and I never felt I measured up, and always felt like an outsider - so when I discovered alcohol I felt like it was a magic cure for me, I could set myself free, felt alright among other people - I partied, made friends and had a lot of fun - for a few years, but already from my late teens alcohol took control of my life even though I didn't know it, and through 15 years of self destruction it ruined pretty much every aspect of my life until I became the sorry, unwashed, antisocial drunk drinking alone for weeks in a row, not showering, not eating, just slowly destroying myself.
The main reason I loved drinking was because it made it possible for me to socialize. I just could not enjoy other people's company when sober, and through all the years of drinking it got worse, when I had sober days I just could not stand being around people, especially in festive settings like parties, festivals and concerts. I just had to get drunk!
But on the other hand, I could not stand being alone over longer periods of time. I couldn't stand my own company. On weekdays, when I was working I could manage, but I could not make it through the weekend without either heading out to drink, or start drinking on my own (unfortunately, I could not stop as Monday arrived - leading to a lot of job losses)...
When I finally quit drinking in August 2017, I'd once again wrecked and knocked every bit of self esteem out of myself.. But I made it to an AA meeting, got myself a sponsor and started working the steps.
Now, 1,5 years sober my life has changed in ways I could not imagine.
I just spend last weekend at a heavy metal festival, the kind of event where people drink beer all the time, and I would have been completely unable to make it though the weekend without getting wasted just a few years ago. And even if I'd made it there sober,I would have hated it, felt uncomfortable and just hidden away in the corner, feeling way too shy to pick up a conversation or be a part of the party.
But this weekend I had a blast! A lot of people I know from back in the day were there, and I noticed people like hanging out with me, talking, laughing, telling jokes, enjoying the music. Some people drank, some didn't. Some were jolly drunk, others completely sober. Out of 400 people I only saw 2-3 annoyingly drunk people. I didn't care much, those who can drink and handle it should bloody well do so, or it would be a waste of talent
But what I noticed most of all was that this idea of not measuring up and not being part of, that I carried inside for all these years - was just in my head. The idea I needed to drink to be around people was just in my head.
People wanted to talk to me, where ever I went people came over to say hi and talk - and I tell you, this festival was so much more enjoyable than any I attended drunk! And I was even more a part of it than before, because I was mentally present all the time!
And another great thing in my life is, that I can also be alone and feel good. I have serenity. Currently I am unable to work because of a back injury, but it's not problem for me spending my days at home, with myself enjoying a good book or walking in the forest.
I go to a lot of AA meetings, but not because I feel I have to because I can't stand being alone - I go because I love being there, I have friends, and I feel I have something to offer for newcomers and my sponsee.
I could easily portray my 1,5 years sober in a negative way; I broke up with my GF, I lost a job, then having just gotten a new job I really liked, I hurt my back so bad I can't work for a while - but all that is not that important - because I've been given such precious gifts - I can stand being a part of life - my own life, and the life that goes on among other people! This gift, I never had before as long as I remember, apart from in that awfully short interval between starting to drink and getting too drunk...
ANd another gift I got from sobriety I did not expect; I always liked writing poetry and though I was pretty good at it, and I always had a dream of trying to make music to the words I write - but I can't play, and I never met any musicians I thought I could work with...
A little while ago my AA sponsor saw some poetry I'd written, and he came with the suggestion we should start a project - he is a very skilled blues/jazz pianist - so now I have started a poetry/music project with my sponsor, and we just recorded our first track yesterday - it's great fun and a great feeling working creatively together like this!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,027
What an awesome story. 
. I’m happy for you...not only because you have discovered new passions and new joy with your friendships but because you’ve had some hardship too, but you can look at it with peace.
I have the exact same experience with sobriety. There were many troubling and difficult parts, but because I am sober, I can center myself, have rational thoughts, come up with rational decisions, and manage to not wind up in a chaotic mess just because life got hard....and that brings a sense of quiet peace and accomplishment, especially when compared to the way we used to fall apart with the smallest stressor. There’s no need to fall apart anymore. There is serenity.
. I’m happy for you...not only because you have discovered new passions and new joy with your friendships but because you’ve had some hardship too, but you can look at it with peace.I have the exact same experience with sobriety. There were many troubling and difficult parts, but because I am sober, I can center myself, have rational thoughts, come up with rational decisions, and manage to not wind up in a chaotic mess just because life got hard....and that brings a sense of quiet peace and accomplishment, especially when compared to the way we used to fall apart with the smallest stressor. There’s no need to fall apart anymore. There is serenity.
sober style
Join Date: May 2016
Location: San Antonio
Posts: 2,382
Originally Posted by SoberTyger 
But what I noticed most of all was that this idea of not measuring up and not being part of, that I carried inside for all these years - was just in my head. The idea I needed to drink to be around people was just in my head.
People wanted to talk to me, where ever I went people came over to say hi and talk - and I tell you, this festival was so much more enjoyable than any I attended drunk! And I was even more a part of it than before, because I was mentally present all the time!
People wanted to talk to me, where ever I went people came over to say hi and talk - and I tell you, this festival was so much more enjoyable than any I attended drunk! And I was even more a part of it than before, because I was mentally present all the time!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Los Angeles, Ca
Posts: 535
Originally Posted by SoberTyger
So, I've been sober for 1,5 years and a bit, and I though I wanted to post about my experience and how sober life is, for me!
I'm the kind of guy who never felt at home in my own skin, as a kid, before I started drinking I was shy, having extremely low self esteem and I never felt I measured up, and always felt like an outsider - so when I discovered alcohol I felt like it was a magic cure for me, I could set myself free, felt alright among other people - I partied, made friends and had a lot of fun - for a few years, but already from my late teens alcohol took control of my life even though I didn't know it, and through 15 years of self destruction it ruined pretty much every aspect of my life until I became the sorry, unwashed, antisocial drunk drinking alone for weeks in a row, not showering, not eating, just slowly destroying myself.
The main reason I loved drinking was because it made it possible for me to socialize. I just could not enjoy other people's company when sober, and through all the years of drinking it got worse, when I had sober days I just could not stand being around people, especially in festive settings like parties, festivals and concerts. I just had to get drunk!
But on the other hand, I could not stand being alone over longer periods of time. I couldn't stand my own company. On weekdays, when I was working I could manage, but I could not make it through the weekend without either heading out to drink, or start drinking on my own (unfortunately, I could not stop as Monday arrived - leading to a lot of job losses)...
When I finally quit drinking in August 2017, I'd once again wrecked and knocked every bit of self esteem out of myself.. But I made it to an AA meeting, got myself a sponsor and started working the steps.
Now, 1,5 years sober my life has changed in ways I could not imagine.
I just spend last weekend at a heavy metal festival, the kind of event where people drink beer all the time, and I would have been completely unable to make it though the weekend without getting wasted just a few years ago. And even if I'd made it there sober,I would have hated it, felt uncomfortable and just hidden away in the corner, feeling way too shy to pick up a conversation or be a part of the party.
But this weekend I had a blast! A lot of people I know from back in the day were there, and I noticed people like hanging out with me, talking, laughing, telling jokes, enjoying the music. Some people drank, some didn't. Some were jolly drunk, others completely sober. Out of 400 people I only saw 2-3 annoyingly drunk people. I didn't care much, those who can drink and handle it should bloody well do so, or it would be a waste of talent
But what I noticed most of all was that this idea of not measuring up and not being part of, that I carried inside for all these years - was just in my head. The idea I needed to drink to be around people was just in my head.
People wanted to talk to me, where ever I went people came over to say hi and talk - and I tell you, this festival was so much more enjoyable than any I attended drunk! And I was even more a part of it than before, because I was mentally present all the time!
And another great thing in my life is, that I can also be alone and feel good. I have serenity. Currently I am unable to work because of a back injury, but it's not problem for me spending my days at home, with myself enjoying a good book or walking in the forest.
I go to a lot of AA meetings, but not because I feel I have to because I can't stand being alone - I go because I love being there, I have friends, and I feel I have something to offer for newcomers and my sponsee.
I could easily portray my 1,5 years sober in a negative way; I broke up with my GF, I lost a job, then having just gotten a new job I really liked, I hurt my back so bad I can't work for a while - but all that is not that important - because I've been given such precious gifts - I can stand being a part of life - my own life, and the life that goes on among other people! This gift, I never had before as long as I remember, apart from in that awfully short interval between starting to drink and getting too drunk...
ANd another gift I got from sobriety I did not expect; I always liked writing poetry and though I was pretty good at it, and I always had a dream of trying to make music to the words I write - but I can't play, and I never met any musicians I thought I could work with...
A little while ago my AA sponsor saw some poetry I'd written, and he came with the suggestion we should start a project - he is a very skilled blues/jazz pianist - so now I have started a poetry/music project with my sponsor, and we just recorded our first track yesterday - it's great fun and a great feeling working creatively together like this!
I'm the kind of guy who never felt at home in my own skin, as a kid, before I started drinking I was shy, having extremely low self esteem and I never felt I measured up, and always felt like an outsider - so when I discovered alcohol I felt like it was a magic cure for me, I could set myself free, felt alright among other people - I partied, made friends and had a lot of fun - for a few years, but already from my late teens alcohol took control of my life even though I didn't know it, and through 15 years of self destruction it ruined pretty much every aspect of my life until I became the sorry, unwashed, antisocial drunk drinking alone for weeks in a row, not showering, not eating, just slowly destroying myself.
The main reason I loved drinking was because it made it possible for me to socialize. I just could not enjoy other people's company when sober, and through all the years of drinking it got worse, when I had sober days I just could not stand being around people, especially in festive settings like parties, festivals and concerts. I just had to get drunk!
But on the other hand, I could not stand being alone over longer periods of time. I couldn't stand my own company. On weekdays, when I was working I could manage, but I could not make it through the weekend without either heading out to drink, or start drinking on my own (unfortunately, I could not stop as Monday arrived - leading to a lot of job losses)...
When I finally quit drinking in August 2017, I'd once again wrecked and knocked every bit of self esteem out of myself.. But I made it to an AA meeting, got myself a sponsor and started working the steps.
Now, 1,5 years sober my life has changed in ways I could not imagine.
I just spend last weekend at a heavy metal festival, the kind of event where people drink beer all the time, and I would have been completely unable to make it though the weekend without getting wasted just a few years ago. And even if I'd made it there sober,I would have hated it, felt uncomfortable and just hidden away in the corner, feeling way too shy to pick up a conversation or be a part of the party.
But this weekend I had a blast! A lot of people I know from back in the day were there, and I noticed people like hanging out with me, talking, laughing, telling jokes, enjoying the music. Some people drank, some didn't. Some were jolly drunk, others completely sober. Out of 400 people I only saw 2-3 annoyingly drunk people. I didn't care much, those who can drink and handle it should bloody well do so, or it would be a waste of talent
But what I noticed most of all was that this idea of not measuring up and not being part of, that I carried inside for all these years - was just in my head. The idea I needed to drink to be around people was just in my head.
People wanted to talk to me, where ever I went people came over to say hi and talk - and I tell you, this festival was so much more enjoyable than any I attended drunk! And I was even more a part of it than before, because I was mentally present all the time!
And another great thing in my life is, that I can also be alone and feel good. I have serenity. Currently I am unable to work because of a back injury, but it's not problem for me spending my days at home, with myself enjoying a good book or walking in the forest.
I go to a lot of AA meetings, but not because I feel I have to because I can't stand being alone - I go because I love being there, I have friends, and I feel I have something to offer for newcomers and my sponsee.
I could easily portray my 1,5 years sober in a negative way; I broke up with my GF, I lost a job, then having just gotten a new job I really liked, I hurt my back so bad I can't work for a while - but all that is not that important - because I've been given such precious gifts - I can stand being a part of life - my own life, and the life that goes on among other people! This gift, I never had before as long as I remember, apart from in that awfully short interval between starting to drink and getting too drunk...
ANd another gift I got from sobriety I did not expect; I always liked writing poetry and though I was pretty good at it, and I always had a dream of trying to make music to the words I write - but I can't play, and I never met any musicians I thought I could work with...
A little while ago my AA sponsor saw some poetry I'd written, and he came with the suggestion we should start a project - he is a very skilled blues/jazz pianist - so now I have started a poetry/music project with my sponsor, and we just recorded our first track yesterday - it's great fun and a great feeling working creatively together like this!
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Love this, thanks for sharing & congrats on a year and a half! Awesome.
And, I'd say that I found a good groove during this 1.5-2 year period and it kept changing and growing as I went thru the next yr and just hit 3 yr- I am in a very good place overall as I am just into year 4.
Stay with it- the clarity, good decision making ability, self-acceptance, so many things that I have now are priceless. Glad you are here!
And, I'd say that I found a good groove during this 1.5-2 year period and it kept changing and growing as I went thru the next yr and just hit 3 yr- I am in a very good place overall as I am just into year 4.
Stay with it- the clarity, good decision making ability, self-acceptance, so many things that I have now are priceless. Glad you are here!
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