NYCDoglvr

I got sober one day at a time. I kept the focus on not drinking TODAY and it works still that way (today is 9997 days). Since I'm powerless over the future, I don't worry about it.

Stayingsassy

Yep, it’s too difficult otherwise. At the time that I quit, the thought of drinking made me shudder, it just sounded terrible. I still think of drinking from time to time, realize it sounds gross and stupid, and then dismiss it. I am around drinkers a lot, and all I can think about is how gross their wine or beer breath is! Man, it’s strong when drinkers breathe in your face.

What’s really odd is how something that used to rule my life never really even gets considered or even thought about that much anymore, sort of like dumb old boyfriends that used to make me weak kneed but seem ridiculous now.

AtomicBlue

I really relate to zjw regarding quitting smoking vs alcohol. Quitting drinking has taken me a LOT more effort than smoking. I think it’s the nature of the beast. Boy is it worth it though!

BullDog777

I wished more people talked about this part of their recovery because this is how it is for me.

It has no power over me anymore. I don't obsess or crave it anymore.

Although I talk about my recovery everyday...the diseased part of it ;that craved 24/7, almost never enters my mind anymore.

The best way I can describe it, is like remembering that I was sick...but I'm not anymore. I recovered. As long as I don't pick up, this old nightmare never has to be a reality ever again.

There's a freedom in that, that's indescribable.

So hard, I don't know many people who are alive who did it much worse than I did. If I can do this, so can you. So can anyone.

Sohard

Thanks everyone for your posts. I don’t want you to think I was ignoring them. Or worse, drinking. I am not. I’m feeling really committed and I just want it to stay. I’m really hopeful. I spent all day reading sobriety literature on this website and others to get myself in a good mindset. I’m really trying. I appreciate it all your thoughts. They are so helpful.

PhoenixJ

keep posting

Grungehead

Glad to see you back Sohard!

Sohard

doggonecarl

That's right. It's a big shift in thinking, but it was a game changer for me, to realized that sobriety wasn't a punishment, but rather a blessing. A gift I wish I had given to myself years earlier.

Alcohol no longer has its chains around me. I choose not to drink.

dafunbra

Sometimes the things we do work so well we stop doing them. Drinking has cost me so much.... I keep a few things that are terrible reminders of the price I've paid for drinking on a stand by the door I leave the house through. Every day before I leave the house and when I enter it again I have to see them and be reminded of the price I've paid. Thats what it finally took to make me want to not drink more than I wanted to drink. I'm tired of paying those prices.

Kaneda8888

Sohard, if you like frameworks such as 100 days, can I suggest one for you. Try 12 months. Its a lot longer and you need a few things. Firstly, you need to make up a daily routine. Especially in the morning and at what I called "trigger times". Then you need to stick to this routine every day without fail. For example, if the routine includes meditating straight after waking up. Do it. Every day. Without fail.

Why 12 months. When I was trying to get sober, my D&A specialist said that it took the brain 9-12 months to develop new pathways (kinda like grooves on a vinyl record). Once these grooves are developed, then it becomes second nature. The new pathways is another way of saying 'habit'. But he emphasised to stick with a new routine, whatever it was, for that period of time and then you are sort of locked in. This is what I did. I created a plan of sorts and stuck to it. Its changed somewhat over the years in emphasis and mix but I've been doing it for more than 5 years now. The first month is awkward and uncomfortable but you gradually become accustomed to it. Eventually it becomes a habit within a few months. Then by 9 months you are deep in the groove and you actually get anxious if your routine potentially gets interrupted.

Its a challenge but well worth it !

Sohard

dwtbd

Even if never does ? That’d be a good enough ‘reason ‘?

I think the real answer is sooner then you think, not that anyone ever feels ‘normal’(? ) , but you just stop letting your AV make You focus on it.

You got this, don’t talk youself out of it , Rootin for ya

Sohard

ScottFromWI

Yep, i'ts 100% AV talking there and it's all lies Sohard - good job on recognizing that.

Part of getting sober is accepting the reality that sometimes life just isn't all that great. Bad things happen sometimes- even to people that do all the right things. People die, people lose their jobs, people get into disagreements, and the list goes on - that's simply part of life.

The good news though is that once you stop drinking, you are far better prepared to learn to work through the bad times.

Stayingsassy

If you want it and it’s fun, why quit?

I would never have quit if that was the case for me.

Obladi

It's all a lie, Sass. Sohard knows that and said as much.

Some people (I suspect, like you) seem to do really well by completely suppressing the AV and not giving it a voice, other people (like me) find it helpful to get what It is saying out in the open and exposing it.

Keep going, Sohard. What It says is all a lie. What you know is true.

O

Stayingsassy

Just looking for the other side, that’s all. I just haven’t read why she wants to quit. Because she thinks she should? Because it’s impairing life? Health? Reputation? There are lots of reasons to quit. I have only heard from sohard what she will miss from drinking.

I was serious, actually. I wasn’t going to quit unless I had a damned good reason, and I didn’t quit until way past the point where it would have been a good idea. Despite this being a sobriety website, there are scores of people here who don’t have good enough reasons to quit, and they don’t quit.

Maybe think about (if you don’t want to list them here) why you want to quit, and if it’s compelling enough to do it. At this point in my sobriety, I don’t really have thoughts in my head about any good stuff about drinking, they just aren’t there. But I still have all the thoughts....the same ones from the beginning: about why it’s good I don’t drink.

Best wishes to you both, hope you both can stick it and leave it behind.

Still recommend cow’s thread for so hard!

BullDog777

It doesn't matter right now why you quit or if they're good reasons or what your motives are...none of that matters right now. Just that you're doing it. Keep your focus narrow.

Your entire frame of mind will change the longer you stay clean. I don't think the same way I did at 1 month or 6 months, a year, 2 years or now, almost 3.

Right now, it's about making sure you eat right, take care of your body and do what it takes to get another day. That's all. Don't try to figure this out right now.

Live in each day's victory that you didn't drink and do it again tomorrow. Before you know it, you'll have some time and things will be more clear.

Sohard