flavinho

I honestly don´t know what else to do, I always thought that achieving full sobriety would bring me joyful days and health. I´m every day bored, I only work and sleep now, I have no will for social life or even sex, I don´t have pleasure in my past hobbies. At first I thought it was depression, but I´m taking fluoxetine and it´s not helping at all. I`m 2 months sober and really angry with myself.

Dee74

hi Flavinho

I think a lot of us expect that just getting sober will solve all our problems and for some it might - but for me that was not true.

Not drinking actually revealed a lot of things I'd been trying to self medicate with booze.

I'm still glad I quit tho because being sober gave me a level playing field to deal with my problems.

Those things that needed a Dr for I saw a Dr, those things that needed therapy I saw a therapist - I began to build a sober life that I enjoyed and things did start to get better.

I had to remember tho - I'd drank for 20 years - a lot if my underlying problems were that old or older - they weren't something that were going to be fixed in weeks, but months.

Similarly some meds will take a little time to bed in, specially if our brain chemistry is messed up from drinking for many years.

I'm sorry it takes so long sometimes but I hop[e you stick with it and stay sober because that way is the only real hope we have of change

D

Guener

Flavinho, quitting drinking did not make me a happy person straight away. I am still working on that every day, but I am now unburdened by the strife that the alcohol was causing me constantly. As somebody also diagnosed with depression, I have found that there is a lot of work to be done there, too.

It took months for my medications to be trialed for me before the right prescriptions were found that substantially relieved my depressive thoughts. Presently I take two different types of drugs that seem to work for me pretty well, but that required going to my psychiatrist multiple times to work out. And it does take time for these to work in most cases, as Dee has said, so don't give up but communicate with your care-giver what you are doing through.

To accurately gauge how this is working for you it is very important to stay away from the alcohol, that goes without saying, so don't be tempted to pick up again.

Brain chemistry is complicated at the individual level, so don't despair yet that you are not back into shape. You may find that things are not the same as they were before, I haven't, but that is something you can also work on to be a happy individual with new interests and different levels of engagement than you once had. It takes a lot to heal from alcoholic associations that we have with prior habits, even the healthy ones.

I advise that you make an appointment to speak to your physician to explain how you are feeling and see how that goes.

Wholesome

I don't know how long you've been quit for, but it's common to experience the anhedonia you are describing. Ride it out. It will pass.

It's one of those things where you have to trust the process and have faith that you are doing the right thing and that it will be worth it. If you drink now, the whole thing starts again. It takes time. Every month things start to slowly get better and better, it's a gradual thing.

Exercise will do wonders for your mood and energy levels. As will good nutrition. Music is also an excellent mood changer.

August252015

Great job on 2 mo and great comments above.

I'll add 2 things - what are you doing BESIDES just not drinking? and something least always says - practicing gratitude. I had to have a concrete, spiritual, everything change in my life that meant alcohol was essentially NOT the problem, and become grateful (not resentful or angry) at the chance I had been given to build a new life.

Happiness isn't my end goal, reward for being sober is missing the real point, and figuring out what makes life worth living and the best I can do while here on earth are a few of the key things I have figured out.

doggonecarl

Two months is early. You aren't drinking, but I'd hesitate to call it "full sobriety."

August252015

^^very true

I'd add that for me, a noticeable shift forward in many areas happened around 100 days.

zjw

give it time. I didnt really smile about life till maybe 9 months in or so. and it was fleeting. In time tho i found all kidns of things that brought me joy and made me smile again. It ended up being a lot better then my drunken days.

ScottFromWI

Congrats on 2 months flavinho. Lot's of good advice above, and i'd also echo that for one thing you are very early in sobriety. It takes more than a couple of months to make major life change - both physically and mentally.

And the other thing is that it's important to remember that the act of quitting drinking in itself won't solve other problems ( mental, social, etc ). Certainly it will allow you to address them - for example, depression and anxiety are quite common in those who drink a lot. And if you quit drinking, the depression and anxiety don't just dissapear. Having said that - quitting will allow you a much better chance to face and correct those issues.

Have you considered seeing a counselor or therapist to work on your mental health? Or possibly considered joining a recovery community locally to meet people in your same situation to find out how they started becoming socially involved? For me volunteering my time was a great way to get out and meet new people.

Hawkeye13

It takes recovery, not just not drinking--by that I mean rebuilding a relationship with yourself and the world.

Finding out who you are, what you like and value, what you want takes time after being drunk and avoiding life for years.
Finding out who your real friends are, how much damage your drinking has really done to friends and family and to begin repairs, etc. also takes quite a bit of time, humility, and patience.

It's worth it though--hang in there!

Kaneda8888

Agree with all of the above. For me, it took more than 12 months to gain emotional stability. During that time I was on a roller coaster of ups and downs. My suggestion is that you also practice patience and self-compassion (not self-pitying). Remember the old saying "time heals all wounds".

Introvrtd1

reading these comments helped me realize that feeling better takes time....only been 8 days for me and no way compares to 2 months but i know i have a heckuva long way to go....

all i can say is hang in there like everyone says...

August252015

^^glad you are here!

Stayingsassy

Not abnormal at all. Two months is just clearing the system. Your brain healing has just begun.

I felt the same. But I had to separate my feelings from my sobriety.

My feelings don’t have anything to do with the fact that I needed to get sober, I did get sober, and I will stay sober no matter what. I got sober and had feelings. Mostly bad for awhile. Later, a mix of feelings. Also some trauma and a lot of pain. And some ecstasy and a lot of peace. None of it was relevant to my drinking. Drinking had to stop. No matter what.

Managing your expectations about life is important. It is not all sunshine and rainbows. And this is a process. You don’t put down booze and it’s fixed. Not by a long shot.

Please, allow yourself time. You wouldn’t have major abdominal surgery and then go back to work the next day, hit the gym? You wouldn’t have a crippling bout of pneumonia and then decide to travel to Italy? You wouldn’t have a death in the family and then feel like your bouncy self a week later?

Sobriety is a hit. It’s an emotional, physical and spiritual hit. You can’t heal if you don’t allow the time. Time, time and more time, to heal.

Natom

Hey flavinho, thanks for your post. I'm currently also taking Fluoxetine and have been on it for the last few months. It does take a while to kick in so if you've not been taking it long I'd recommend going to see your doctor to discuss it. Similarly if you've been taking it a while and it's still not working then the doctor may be able to suggest something else.

The way I look at sobriety is that the removal of the drugs and alcohol gives us 'breathing space'. We should use the clarity of a clean and sober mind to investigate and treat the issues that caused us to use in the first place. The same can be said for the Fluoxetine. It's made me feel comfortable enough to seek counselling that I never would have been able to do without the pills.

That anger can be harnessed and chanelled into working on yourself in a positive way. It may be worth talking to your doctor about therapeutic things you can do which may aid your recovery.

I hope everything gets better for you.

Natom

least

I would suggest that you start practicing gratitude every day. It will change your perspective and can make you happier. Give it a try.

https://www.nytimes.com/2015/11/22/o...pier.html?_r=0

NYCDoglvr

I heard this in early recovery: "if you take the alcohol away from a drunken horse thief you have a horse thief". I don't think you can substitute drinking with nothing, I certainly couldn't stay sober that way. I found the help and support I needed with AA, but there are other recovery plans out there. I suggest exploring what works for you and getting involved before deciding sobriety isn't for you. A big hug!

hellrzr

This sounds like a text book case of someone who could use a program of recovery like Alcoholics Anonymous. I think you would get a lot out of reading Chapter 11, A Vision for You, in the Big Book. I would post a link but I'm not sure if we are supposed to so you can search it easy enough yourself.

Two snippets....

"He cannot picture life with out alcohol. Some day he will be unable to imagine life either with alcohol or without it. Then he will know loneliness such as few do. He will be at the jumping-off place. He will wish for the end."

"Yes, there is a substitute and it is vastly more than that. It is a fellowship in Alcoholics Anonymous. There you will find release from care, boredom and worry. Your imagination will be fired. Life will mean something at last. The most satisfactory years of your
existence lie ahead. Thus we find the fellowship, and so will you."

dafunbra

I'm going to parrot what has already been said - two months is great but it's just a start. I have a little over two months, take lexapro, have issues with anxiety and depression, and my heads a freakin mess. I fight horrible insomnia, often awake for days at a time. I went to treatment, am still in outpatient treatment. I'm working the steps with a sponsor. I see a therapist and attend AA and have a very strong faith and work that angle as well. And every day it's a struggle to not be pissed off at the world or sitting squarely on my depressive pity pot. I exercise a lot and eat right. I still do a solid hour of meditation, prayer and daily devotionals every morning. It's that hour and a deliberate attempt to be in gratitude and of service that lets me get through the day without being a major a-hole. I can assure you nobody at work except my boss has any idea of my daily struggle. I have faith this will get better and I will see hope and happiness again, but I never expected all the negatives from a 25 year drinking career to be fixed in seventy odd days. I think MAYBE in 170 odd days I can see some differences. I know they will come because I've seen them come in others that have walked this path. But I don't know when. So I suit up and show up every day. And doing that is slightly easier now than it was on Dec 4 when I started this stretch. Keep putting one foot in front of the other, man, and it will get better. In time.

Evoo

Alcohol is really good at covering things up. When it’s gone, it can shine a very bright and unwelcome light on other issues — generalized anxiety, health anxiety, depression, grief, guilt. The good news is that you can finally tackle those things and dig in.

Do you have a counselor you can talk to? Or a program you can start?

Personally, I use healthy dieting, cooking and fitness to be my main “replacement,” trying to focus in on mind, body, spirit. I’ve discovered that lacking in one makes me more vulnerable.