Reasons to say no
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 221
Reasons to say no
As February begins and the days go on I know I will be tempted to drink. So I am going to make a list of the reasons why I shouldn't drink and why it's the worst reason in the world. I turned to alcohol to cope with my social anxiety and a family bereavement and it almost ruined my life.
- Being physically dependent. In the end I was so physically dependent on alcohol I would shake and feel like my whole body was vibrating without it. Some of the withdrawals I suffered were horrendous. After a long binge when I'd then run out of alcohol I was convinced I was in a coma in the hospital and trapped in some sort of alternative reality where I was brain dead but no one believed me. I never had a seizure but I believe I came very close several times.
- Lying in bed at night only being able to get an hours sleep at the most. In so much mental and physical pain. Having to put my headphones in as the auditory hallucinations were so bad.
- Ending up in debt and in my overdraft. Spending all of my money on alcohol and taxis to get to work so essentially nothing to show for it except my addiction. I felt like I was drinking to keep myself alive which is ironic.
- Counting the seconds to get through the day. Having to sneak off to the toilets at work to top up my levels of alcohol when I started to feel the withdrawal coming on.
- A colleague at work making a comment about how they could smell alcohol and who was out the night before ? Knowing fine well they would probably expect me, sitting there with bloodshot eyes.
- My appearance going down the toilet. I've prematurely aged myself. Forehead wrinkles, more greys. Gained weight with a bloated face and stomach, red blotchy skin, that 'flushed' look an alcoholic gets. That's all disappeared now. I don't want that again.
- My suicide attempt under the influence of alcohol. I don't want to die and never have but when I was drunk or withdrawing bad I did.
- Waking up in the morning and vomiting before choking down more alcohol (it makes me sick when I think about it)
- Being told I had liver damage by a medical professional and yet still not stopping ?
- The fact I want to start a family in the near future
- Not wanting to end up like my mother
- I believe I can't go back to just having a couple now without getting withdrawal (kindling) and I'm scared. It's just not worth it.
Anything else I think of I will add on. I've got to remember that even though a cocktail sounds nice it could lead back to this and I never want that to happen. I was in a living nightmare by the end.
- Being physically dependent. In the end I was so physically dependent on alcohol I would shake and feel like my whole body was vibrating without it. Some of the withdrawals I suffered were horrendous. After a long binge when I'd then run out of alcohol I was convinced I was in a coma in the hospital and trapped in some sort of alternative reality where I was brain dead but no one believed me. I never had a seizure but I believe I came very close several times.
- Lying in bed at night only being able to get an hours sleep at the most. In so much mental and physical pain. Having to put my headphones in as the auditory hallucinations were so bad.
- Ending up in debt and in my overdraft. Spending all of my money on alcohol and taxis to get to work so essentially nothing to show for it except my addiction. I felt like I was drinking to keep myself alive which is ironic.
- Counting the seconds to get through the day. Having to sneak off to the toilets at work to top up my levels of alcohol when I started to feel the withdrawal coming on.
- A colleague at work making a comment about how they could smell alcohol and who was out the night before ? Knowing fine well they would probably expect me, sitting there with bloodshot eyes.
- My appearance going down the toilet. I've prematurely aged myself. Forehead wrinkles, more greys. Gained weight with a bloated face and stomach, red blotchy skin, that 'flushed' look an alcoholic gets. That's all disappeared now. I don't want that again.
- My suicide attempt under the influence of alcohol. I don't want to die and never have but when I was drunk or withdrawing bad I did.
- Waking up in the morning and vomiting before choking down more alcohol (it makes me sick when I think about it)
- Being told I had liver damage by a medical professional and yet still not stopping ?
- The fact I want to start a family in the near future
- Not wanting to end up like my mother
- I believe I can't go back to just having a couple now without getting withdrawal (kindling) and I'm scared. It's just not worth it.
Anything else I think of I will add on. I've got to remember that even though a cocktail sounds nice it could lead back to this and I never want that to happen. I was in a living nightmare by the end.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Glad you are here. So many things we lost or missed out on while drinking, for sure.
I've also practiced turning the flip side of your list into a conscious one of things I gain and can do sober. A reward list with positive verbs and adjectives, if you will.
Keep going!
I've also practiced turning the flip side of your list into a conscious one of things I gain and can do sober. A reward list with positive verbs and adjectives, if you will.
Keep going!
sober style
Join Date: May 2016
Location: San Antonio
Posts: 2,387
Living nightmare is a good way to put it. I think of my own history of life as a drunk as being a horror movie I'd cast myself in. Really got sick of all the totally unnecessary horror toward the end!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Originally Posted by noaddedsugar 
As February begins and the days go on I know I will be tempted to drink. So I am going to make a list of the reasons why I shouldn't drink and why it's the worst reason in the world. I turned to alcohol to cope with my social anxiety and a family bereavement and it almost ruined my life.
- Being physically dependent. In the end I was so physically dependent on alcohol I would shake and feel like my whole body was vibrating without it. Some of the withdrawals I suffered were horrendous. After a long binge when I'd then run out of alcohol I was convinced I was in a coma in the hospital and trapped in some sort of alternative reality where I was brain dead but no one believed me. I never had a seizure but I believe I came very close several times.
- Lying in bed at night only being able to get an hours sleep at the most. In so much mental and physical pain. Having to put my headphones in as the auditory hallucinations were so bad.
- Ending up in debt and in my overdraft. Spending all of my money on alcohol and taxis to get to work so essentially nothing to show for it except my addiction. I felt like I was drinking to keep myself alive which is ironic.
- Counting the seconds to get through the day. Having to sneak off to the toilets at work to top up my levels of alcohol when I started to feel the withdrawal coming on.
- A colleague at work making a comment about how they could smell alcohol and who was out the night before ? Knowing fine well they would probably expect me, sitting there with bloodshot eyes.
- My appearance going down the toilet. I've prematurely aged myself. Forehead wrinkles, more greys. Gained weight with a bloated face and stomach, red blotchy skin, that 'flushed' look an alcoholic gets. That's all disappeared now. I don't want that again.
- My suicide attempt under the influence of alcohol. I don't want to die and never have but when I was drunk or withdrawing bad I did.
- Waking up in the morning and vomiting before choking down more alcohol (it makes me sick when I think about it)
- Being told I had liver damage by a medical professional and yet still not stopping ?
- The fact I want to start a family in the near future
- Not wanting to end up like my mother
- I believe I can't go back to just having a couple now without getting withdrawal (kindling) and I'm scared. It's just not worth it.
Anything else I think of I will add on. I've got to remember that even though a cocktail sounds nice it could lead back to this and I never want that to happen. I was in a living nightmare by the end.
- Being physically dependent. In the end I was so physically dependent on alcohol I would shake and feel like my whole body was vibrating without it. Some of the withdrawals I suffered were horrendous. After a long binge when I'd then run out of alcohol I was convinced I was in a coma in the hospital and trapped in some sort of alternative reality where I was brain dead but no one believed me. I never had a seizure but I believe I came very close several times.
- Lying in bed at night only being able to get an hours sleep at the most. In so much mental and physical pain. Having to put my headphones in as the auditory hallucinations were so bad.
- Ending up in debt and in my overdraft. Spending all of my money on alcohol and taxis to get to work so essentially nothing to show for it except my addiction. I felt like I was drinking to keep myself alive which is ironic.
- Counting the seconds to get through the day. Having to sneak off to the toilets at work to top up my levels of alcohol when I started to feel the withdrawal coming on.
- A colleague at work making a comment about how they could smell alcohol and who was out the night before ? Knowing fine well they would probably expect me, sitting there with bloodshot eyes.
- My appearance going down the toilet. I've prematurely aged myself. Forehead wrinkles, more greys. Gained weight with a bloated face and stomach, red blotchy skin, that 'flushed' look an alcoholic gets. That's all disappeared now. I don't want that again.
- My suicide attempt under the influence of alcohol. I don't want to die and never have but when I was drunk or withdrawing bad I did.
- Waking up in the morning and vomiting before choking down more alcohol (it makes me sick when I think about it)
- Being told I had liver damage by a medical professional and yet still not stopping ?
- The fact I want to start a family in the near future
- Not wanting to end up like my mother
- I believe I can't go back to just having a couple now without getting withdrawal (kindling) and I'm scared. It's just not worth it.
Anything else I think of I will add on. I've got to remember that even though a cocktail sounds nice it could lead back to this and I never want that to happen. I was in a living nightmare by the end.
Also in some shots I can see how flush my face looked at times looked.
Drinking exacerbated my skin problem (rosacea) especially after a night of heavy drinking.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 268
I identify with everything you listed. It is madness. The toll on my mental health has reached a point never experienced before. I am early 40's. I have to stop before any permanent damage is done.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 221
Originally Posted by Ken33xx
I have photos taken just a year or so before I got sober and my face is bloated.
Also in some shots I can see how flush my face looked at times looked.
Drinking exacerbated my skin problem (rosacea) especially after a night of heavy drinking.
Also in some shots I can see how flush my face looked at times looked.
Drinking exacerbated my skin problem (rosacea) especially after a night of heavy drinking.
Originally Posted by Canuck76
I identify with everything you listed. It is madness. The toll on my mental health has reached a point never experienced before. I am early 40's. I have to stop before any permanent damage is done.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 221
As asked for..
Reasons to say YES to sobriety!
- I don't have to put my energy into lying and hiding my drinking consumption. I spent so much time and effort trying to hide my drinking problem it was draining.
- Weight loss. As previously mentioned my face is less puffy.. I actually have a jawline and my swollen stomach has shrunk. I've dropped 2 dress sizes.
- Getting a good nights sleep. My sleeping pattern took a while to sort itself out but I'm finally waking up feeling refreshed and not wanting to throw up or call in sick to work
- My job performance has improved. I'm not making silly mistakes at work and have better relationships with my work colleagues as I don't feel I have to withdraw myself incase they notice I have a problem.
- I actually have time to do things other than drinking and find enjoyment in them. My passion for exercise has come back. Before I never would've had the stamina to work out or go to the gym but now I'm working out everyday and feel so much happier and healthier for it.
- Saving money. I'm not spending all of my money on vodka anymore so I'm managing to put some money into a savings account every month. I finally see a future worth living.
- Having an appetite. Now rather than having to force food down, feel like I was going to vomit with every bite and struggling to keep it down.. I'm actually enjoying food and planning meals. I'm a massive foodie and love going out for meals now.
- Reduced anxiety. I used to think drinking helped with my anxiety but it was having the opposite effect. My social anxiety seems like it's almost disappeared and my confidence has soared.
There's probably a load more. When I'm listing all of these things and realise how much my life has improved in such a short space of time I can't believe I actually let my drinking go on for so long and ruin so much of my life.
Onwards and upwards - I'm healing and I feel better each and every day
Reasons to say YES to sobriety!
- I don't have to put my energy into lying and hiding my drinking consumption. I spent so much time and effort trying to hide my drinking problem it was draining.
- Weight loss. As previously mentioned my face is less puffy.. I actually have a jawline and my swollen stomach has shrunk. I've dropped 2 dress sizes.
- Getting a good nights sleep. My sleeping pattern took a while to sort itself out but I'm finally waking up feeling refreshed and not wanting to throw up or call in sick to work
- My job performance has improved. I'm not making silly mistakes at work and have better relationships with my work colleagues as I don't feel I have to withdraw myself incase they notice I have a problem.
- I actually have time to do things other than drinking and find enjoyment in them. My passion for exercise has come back. Before I never would've had the stamina to work out or go to the gym but now I'm working out everyday and feel so much happier and healthier for it.
- Saving money. I'm not spending all of my money on vodka anymore so I'm managing to put some money into a savings account every month. I finally see a future worth living.
- Having an appetite. Now rather than having to force food down, feel like I was going to vomit with every bite and struggling to keep it down.. I'm actually enjoying food and planning meals. I'm a massive foodie and love going out for meals now.
- Reduced anxiety. I used to think drinking helped with my anxiety but it was having the opposite effect. My social anxiety seems like it's almost disappeared and my confidence has soared.
There's probably a load more. When I'm listing all of these things and realise how much my life has improved in such a short space of time I can't believe I actually let my drinking go on for so long and ruin so much of my life.
Onwards and upwards - I'm healing and I feel better each and every day
Member
Join Date: Feb 2019
Posts: 246
Besides all the reasons already stated, I would say the most painful consequence of drinking is the severe depression I get for days and days after a binge. I have had ALOT of terrible consequences but I must stay the deep dark depression I get after I drink is pure hell. It is a pain like no other. I have laid in bed planning my own suicide in those moments. I never want to feel like that again. I never really wanted to die. I just didn't want to live in that pain anymore. I am grateful to be 4 days sober. Not much but it's a beginning. I'll take it!
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Originally Posted by Dee74
yeah I'd like to hear your list of positive reasons noaddedsugar - those are the reasons that last and grow - they endure IMO
D
D
It is the joy of living sober that keeps me motivated to take the actions that keep me on track. By that I mean that I don't consider drinking, no matter what. That is different to saying no, or making a choice. I lost the power of choice and never got it back.
Instead, the very thought of drinking fills me with dread. On the rare occasions where someone has got a bit pushy, I have experienced a powerful adverse reaction such that I have come close to thumping a couple of people trying to get me to drink. I am totally repelled by the idea, which is exactly what is promised in step 10 of the AA program.
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