Shared Characteristics of Different Recovery Methods
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 1,068
Shared Characteristics of Different Recovery Methods
One thing I have found here is that successful people use different methods to recover from alcohol abuse/addiction. Of course the biggest one is AA but I see that many folks use other methods of recovery. However, I do see common traits with all of them.
For example I think one of the common principals is the idea that moderation is futile. But that's just scratching the surface.
What do you see as perhaps a universal concept that serves as a foundation for recovery?
For example I think one of the common principals is the idea that moderation is futile. But that's just scratching the surface.
What do you see as perhaps a universal concept that serves as a foundation for recovery?
non-drinker
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 13,833
I'm nearing 10 years sober with no "formal" program. However, I shamelessly steal from the different programs out there and here's what works for me:
Daily gratitude.
Surrender and "letting go" of negative self-talk and unreasonable expectations.
Encouraging others.
Sharing my strength, experience and hope.
Self care (plenty of sleep, better diet, exercise, etc.).
Learning to draw boundaries with family and friends.
Positive thinking.
Daily gratitude.
Surrender and "letting go" of negative self-talk and unreasonable expectations.
Encouraging others.
Sharing my strength, experience and hope.
Self care (plenty of sleep, better diet, exercise, etc.).
Learning to draw boundaries with family and friends.
Positive thinking.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Great point AAPJ and one that needs to be made more often I think. Like many areas of our lives, sometimes we look for the differences instead of focusing on how we are all similar.
Specific to recovery though, I think there are many areas where we are all on the same page.
For example, acceptance of our issue. Whether it's Step one of the 12 steps or Never drinking again and never changing our minds, it's a common idea that not drinking alcohol is the solution, regardless of "why".
Another commonality I think is that just about every method has a plan/concept/program to make "recovery" more than just ceasing to drink alcohol. Whether it's the structured meetings/steps of a 12 step program, or building a Big Plan of your own, it sets a framework moving forward for positive change.
Specific to recovery though, I think there are many areas where we are all on the same page.
For example, acceptance of our issue. Whether it's Step one of the 12 steps or Never drinking again and never changing our minds, it's a common idea that not drinking alcohol is the solution, regardless of "why".
Another commonality I think is that just about every method has a plan/concept/program to make "recovery" more than just ceasing to drink alcohol. Whether it's the structured meetings/steps of a 12 step program, or building a Big Plan of your own, it sets a framework moving forward for positive change.
Grateful
Join Date: May 2013
Location: NC
Posts: 1,763
Great topic AAPJ! Seems most if not all who are successful at getting and staying sober are looking to move forward with their life rather than staying the same minus the alcohol. Self-improvement. My experience with sobriety (both successes and failures) has been that if I'm not moving forward I'm probably slipping backwards. Stagnation (what AA calls "resting on your laurels") has been my downfall in the past.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 1,643
The concept of one day at a time.
Almost every alcoholic gets cravings, especially in the first year. When you're feeling otherwise healthy, it's easy to give into those cravings because you've "forgotten" about the pain of withdrawal, shame, hangovers, depression, anxiety, and all that other stuff that comes with alcoholism.
If you could just get through that day, that craving, a relapse is abated for that day and your sobriety continues. However you manage to do it.
Almost every alcoholic gets cravings, especially in the first year. When you're feeling otherwise healthy, it's easy to give into those cravings because you've "forgotten" about the pain of withdrawal, shame, hangovers, depression, anxiety, and all that other stuff that comes with alcoholism.
If you could just get through that day, that craving, a relapse is abated for that day and your sobriety continues. However you manage to do it.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2018
Location: NY
Posts: 327
Took a while to surrender and when I finally did it was still difficult. The obsession was there every day , every hours. I attended AA meetings sometimes 2 or 3 a day. To keep me occupied and build a foundation.
Changed my routine, got out of bed 530- 6 am. Shaved everyday didn’t have to , i couldn’t grow a beard if my life depended on it. Dressed nicer, always tried to practice patience and tolerance. Exercise, walked my dogs etc.
My days before recovery were sitting in a bar all day. I had to change.
I’m still going to AA meetings , involved in the steps and trying to keep my walls down. Still hard to really open up but little by slowly I’m getting. One thing every day is different not the same drunk life. Everyday is great but at least I know what’s going on.
Changed my routine, got out of bed 530- 6 am. Shaved everyday didn’t have to , i couldn’t grow a beard if my life depended on it. Dressed nicer, always tried to practice patience and tolerance. Exercise, walked my dogs etc.
My days before recovery were sitting in a bar all day. I had to change.
I’m still going to AA meetings , involved in the steps and trying to keep my walls down. Still hard to really open up but little by slowly I’m getting. One thing every day is different not the same drunk life. Everyday is great but at least I know what’s going on.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: nj
Posts: 470
Regardless of your approach, I think that you have to be willing for many things to be different when you stop drinking. When you first stop, the abstinence is the greatest change, and then you realize that changes then occur in most other aspects of your life.
The day you stop drinking is like a stone dropped into still (if not stagnant) water. It is sudden and dramatic. The effect of abstinence on your life (i.e., the water after the stone has dropped) is the ripple of changes that are inevitable. You dont have to be overwhelmed by change, just expect it and ride one wave or ripple as it comes.
The day you stop drinking is like a stone dropped into still (if not stagnant) water. It is sudden and dramatic. The effect of abstinence on your life (i.e., the water after the stone has dropped) is the ripple of changes that are inevitable. You dont have to be overwhelmed by change, just expect it and ride one wave or ripple as it comes.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 1,183
I've thought about this a lot over the years, and honestly, I don't mean to be flip or naive or shallow, but to me the only necessary shared characteristic is for a problem drinker to stop drinking entirely and forever. However we achieve that is up to us, but that's what we have to accomplish. We can make things much more complex if we want to, but at the core it's really simple: Stop drinking.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 453
Don't drink. Period.
Deal with the stuff that's left over once you've stopped drinking.
Get help if you need it.
I think that sums up what I've learned through my forays into the various groups!
So simple, but so very hard at first. I don't think I was prepared for dealing with the stuff that arose when I stopped and so I kept drinking over it. Learning how to live life without drinking was overwhelming, but oh so worth it in the long run.
I also prefer to consider how alike we are and support each other, no matter what path we take to abstinence.
Deal with the stuff that's left over once you've stopped drinking.
Get help if you need it.
I think that sums up what I've learned through my forays into the various groups!
So simple, but so very hard at first. I don't think I was prepared for dealing with the stuff that arose when I stopped and so I kept drinking over it. Learning how to live life without drinking was overwhelming, but oh so worth it in the long run.
I also prefer to consider how alike we are and support each other, no matter what path we take to abstinence.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Given the phenomenon of craving that affects alcoholics of my type, that abnormal bodily reaction to alcohol, it seems obvious that the only possible way to get relief from the consequences is complete abstinence. If we never took the first drink, then that problem would not arise.
Therefore, wouldn't "not drinking" be the objective of any treatment plan rather than a characteristic of it?
The question might then be what are the common characteristics of treatment plans that have the objective of complete abstinence?
That would give a wide range of possibilities such as will power, big plans, surrender, distraction, play the tape forward, relapse prevention, personal contact and support, religious approaches, spiritual approaches, changes in circumstances like geographical, living arrangements, friendships, jobs, personal relationships, way of life to name a few.
It looks like for some of us, successfully not drinking on a permanent basis requires quite a bit more that just not drinking, which may be why most plans I know of seem to have a number of other elements.
Therefore, wouldn't "not drinking" be the objective of any treatment plan rather than a characteristic of it?
The question might then be what are the common characteristics of treatment plans that have the objective of complete abstinence?
That would give a wide range of possibilities such as will power, big plans, surrender, distraction, play the tape forward, relapse prevention, personal contact and support, religious approaches, spiritual approaches, changes in circumstances like geographical, living arrangements, friendships, jobs, personal relationships, way of life to name a few.
It looks like for some of us, successfully not drinking on a permanent basis requires quite a bit more that just not drinking, which may be why most plans I know of seem to have a number of other elements.
No Dogma Please
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: SoCal
Posts: 2,562
I think Mike got it perfectly.
No matter hat what method or methods that you choose, sobriety is working some sort of program. Even the most die-hard AVRT people advocating a set it and forget it Big Plan still come to SR and work their sobriety that way...they just don't go to AA meetings.
There is far more to sobriety than abstinence.
No matter hat what method or methods that you choose, sobriety is working some sort of program. Even the most die-hard AVRT people advocating a set it and forget it Big Plan still come to SR and work their sobriety that way...they just don't go to AA meetings.
There is far more to sobriety than abstinence.
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