cruiser1911

I dont know if its just the winter blues this has been a rough month for me. No energy, have projects that need done but just want to sit on the couch. haven't done anything that was straight up for fun in months besides one trip with the kids to the sand with the four wheelers. not sure where to go, haven't really made a new social group, and when work is screaming at me I dont think about it. but I tore out our kitchen floor to put hardwood down and am not getting it finished (my wife is a saint she is not mad yet). Im wondering what to do, I think for satisfaction I need to start giving but I dont know how, never have, its always been about me. I thought about going to aa meetings to see if that would help but Im sober for a over a year and that would seem weird. just needing some satisnfation in life. I thought after a year I would have my energy back and my get up and go would be back. I feel better physically and will not go back, I know it would be another 10 years before another quit and I dont want my kids to grow up with a practicing drunk for a dad. but this isn't a whole lot happier. just putting my thoughts in writing. there has to be more to life than this. people say start exercising , but I hate exercising just talking to vent.
My old drinking buddys called, I haven't been hanging around with them its not awkward for me but is for them, they bent a small crane mast and I know 15 moths ago that would have been 3 weekends of drunken work/ fun/ bullshitting straightening it out and replacing what needs fixed now its just a miserable project that has to be done. this is what I miss about being sober. still worth it BUT I miss it. thanks for listening

DontRemember

Nothing weird about going to a meeting at all. I always enjoyed starting my day with a morning AA 2-3 times/wk(when I was going). I felt more 'spiritually renewed' after going and more focussed to take on my day.

Mango212

I'm not alcoholic and I'm heading to an open AA meeting later today. I have many AA friends in another 12 step program who attend that one, too.

One day at a time. Many paths to healing.

Step meetings sounds like a good plan. A naturopathic doctor and big vitamin D supplements have helped my winters get better, too. Kind of in that order.

Good things keep leading to more good things. "Life doesn't have to suck!" is a sign over a doorway at one meeting place. I've always really like that sign!!

Dee74

Hi cruiser
Getting sober was only the first part for me - then I had to learn to be happy about it.

I had to build a sober life I loved else I'd be a miserable shut in staying forlornly out the window watching other people have fun.

I know it's not easy to make new friends but maybe that giving thing is a good start - some volunteering stuff maybe - handyman/building work in your own community?

D

Anna

Hi Cruiser, Congratulations on your recovery!

I think it's important to remember that recovery involves so much more than stopping drinking. It sounds like it might be helpful for you to spend some time figuring out what you like and love to do and what makes you happy. Of course, when you have a job and kids there's not a lot of extra time, but it might be worth it to devote some time to doing something for yourself.

Grungehead

I just started walking 2mi a day (weather permitting) 3 days ago. I recently moved to a house with a mile long paved trail right outside my back yard that's maintained by the town I live in. Even though I've been sober for close to 6 years I still get in ruts from time to time, and I suffer from depression/anxiety that tends to get worse during the winter. I moved over a month ago and promised myself I would start getting some exercise and still sat on the couch for a month...even though I can see the trail from my couch . It's kinda weird...I don't like exercising either yet I ALWAYS feel better after I do it. It seems to kind of be a theme in my life...if I don't like it then it's probably good for me.

Me today: "I don't want to walk today, it's cold, windy and I'm kind of sore from yesterday."

Me 5 minutes into my walk today: "Man the sun feels good on my face, I'm glad I decided to take a walk today after all."

Walked 2 miles...took 30 minutes out of my "busy schedule" . Feel a lot better physically and mentally.

fini

hi cruiser,
seeing that it’s always been about you is a great thing to recognize. and then seeing that “for satisfaction i need to start giving” is exactly what is a perfect antidote to the dissatisfactions of everything being about you/us.
don’t know how andconsidering an AA meeting?
perfect combo!
meetings are a great place to give from your experience, and encouragement, and practical stuff like help in cleaning the room up after the meeting or making the coffee or ...just showing up for others.
which you can also do here, right on SR....maybe give some thought to saying hello to all the new folks who show up here every day; that kind of stuff.
and if you like tinkering and fixing, i bet there are organizations in your area that could really use a volunteer with skills.
anyway, i didn’t set foot in AA until i had a couple of years sober, and sure, it feels a bit weird....so what?
only for a little while. and only when i thought it was all about me

DayTrader

I think you're maybe onto something here. For a lot of people, "putting the plug in the jug," as they say, is enough. They stop their drinking and their life straightens out. While there are many people like this even in AA, the real meat of the program is in finding a new way of living that's agreeable to the individual - something you're still looking for even with a year of not drinking. I was in the same boat and it started to become really clear something was still off when I was around a year or so dry.

Interestingly enough, the concept you brought up of feeling like you need to start giving is 100% in line with what AA is really all about. Sure, to some it's just a "get sober club." For those who work the actual steps/principles though, we find out it's really a lot more than that. Sure, it's about getting sober but then things shift - they shift to becoming a program of personal and spiritual growth where one learns to be helpful to the people around them and gets what I'd best describe as a new playbook for the game of life.

I wasn't REALLY in recovery when I had a year off the booze, I mean, I was basically still the same person - just not drinking. It started to occur to me that this new dry life was, well, precisely the type of life that drove me to drink in the past. It became pretty obvious that something was missing and I'd need to change or I was probably headed back to the bottle. And even IF I could keep myself from drinking for another year, 5yrs, 20yrs....... I didn't have a manner of living or thinking that really appealed to me. Straightening THAT stuff out - seeing that my alcoholism was bigger than just a drinking problem - that's what I found when I started to work the AA program.

Best of all, I found a LOT of people who'd been in exactly the same position I was in AND they had a way out, kinda like you found in me - someone with the same history and some experience on getting out from under it.

Fronting

Artificial dopamine release in your brain is pretty cool huh? Yea its just that - artificial. That goes for the fun too, it's all just imaginary.

Be happy you are of sober mind. Be happy you know you're just being lazy with the floor job and not too drunk to actually do it. But most of all be happy that you will not disappoint your wife and kids by being a drunk. You have a lot to be happy about sir.

SnazzyDresser

You're doing great, cruiser. It is definitely challenging getting back into the swing of life after we get sober, and really creating a new life that works without the poison's help. I totally get what you're saying. I coming up on 2 years myself, doing it solely with SR, this sober adventure. Takes a lot outta you but it's worth all the trouble!

It'll be spring before you know it btw, always new twists and turns ahead. I bet we can handle whatever comes along as long as we stay sober and give it all we got.