My father died today
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Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 149
Originally Posted by Stayingsassy 
He’s been declining a long time, but it still was not expected this quickly.
I thought about drinking. It was a brief consideration which I do from time to time even without such a difficult thing happening. Turns out I can’t imagine trying to get numb over this. And I know my dad would be disappointed if he knew I drank over his death.
Months ago he mentioned to my mom how happy he was that I had stopped drinking. My father was an alcoholic too: who never got sober, but became too chronically ill from heart and kidney disease to drink like he used to. He once said to my mom, “I gave her that, you know.” He felt terrible that he’d passed that gene onto me.
Anyway, I am sure I will never be the same again, now that one of my favorite people on earth won’t tread the earth again.
I thought about drinking. It was a brief consideration which I do from time to time even without such a difficult thing happening. Turns out I can’t imagine trying to get numb over this. And I know my dad would be disappointed if he knew I drank over his death.
Months ago he mentioned to my mom how happy he was that I had stopped drinking. My father was an alcoholic too: who never got sober, but became too chronically ill from heart and kidney disease to drink like he used to. He once said to my mom, “I gave her that, you know.” He felt terrible that he’d passed that gene onto me.
Anyway, I am sure I will never be the same again, now that one of my favorite people on earth won’t tread the earth again.
I am sorry for your loss, and your father should not of been feeling that he gave you the disease of alcoholism.He gave you life, and we all chose to drink and became alcoholic on our own. Your father would be proud that you remain sober during his funeral and for the rest of your life, keep up the work and remain sober that is the best gift Yiu can give your father.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 3,163
Sassy,
I have been thinking of you.
My friend/brother died without any warning in our home over the holidays, and my partner found him when he arrived home.
What I realized is that I have lost one of the few people who loved me best, and made me feel full of that love every day. My father was the same, my uncle, my youngest sister, all gone. We just don't have so many of those people in our lives so losing them is like losing the best part of ourselves. We find it back, or soem of it, but its not the same.
Reading you describe your loss felt the same. You just loved him hugely and he you. In a way that you both really felt and made you better. Fuller.
XXX
I have been thinking of you.
My friend/brother died without any warning in our home over the holidays, and my partner found him when he arrived home.
What I realized is that I have lost one of the few people who loved me best, and made me feel full of that love every day. My father was the same, my uncle, my youngest sister, all gone. We just don't have so many of those people in our lives so losing them is like losing the best part of ourselves. We find it back, or soem of it, but its not the same.
Reading you describe your loss felt the same. You just loved him hugely and he you. In a way that you both really felt and made you better. Fuller.
XXX
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,337
Sassy. Just now reading this.
I’m so sorry. Losing a parent is awful. Losing a great parent is even worse.
I have been an orphan since January 25, 1998. It’s better, but I still miss my parents but I now realize my love for them helps them live on inside of me, and my memories are good. Just came across a letter she wrote me yesterday. 😊
When your grief has some time in, my wish is that your memories are filled with gladness.
((((((Sassy)))))
I’m so sorry. Losing a parent is awful. Losing a great parent is even worse.
I have been an orphan since January 25, 1998. It’s better, but I still miss my parents but I now realize my love for them helps them live on inside of me, and my memories are good. Just came across a letter she wrote me yesterday. 😊
When your grief has some time in, my wish is that your memories are filled with gladness.
((((((Sassy)))))
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