zjw

I dont have a regular practice. I should. and I do at times. and I try to. But lately? nope. and i pay the price. I am at my best mentally and such when i spend some time each day reading and meditating.

lots of times when i start to get out of wack. I have a few choices. go drink? god no.! meditate and read? totally a good idea. Or go running also a great idea. Usually it takes excercise and meditation and reading for me to stay on track.

I know when i keep my house in order regardless of what kinda storm is going on outside I can usually do ok. Tho in extreme situations I still struggle. Sometimes life gets a little too intense for me and each time it does i get a little closer to asking someone else to take over i cant do it its kind of worrisome but maybe i need to take that step back.

Stayingsassy

I thinks it’s good you have a toolbox. I need a toolbox. Mine is not cutting it for me right now. At least over the past year I have started to figure out what I really love. Plants. Walking in nature. Spending time with pets. Warm baths...

I’m with you on the sleep also. I have to watch myself there. Sometimes I have to force myself to stay downstairs instead of hiding upstairs. The energy from everyone often drains me.

You would love that movie. It is wonderful. Treat yourself and watch it!

Caramel

Very helpful.

Stayingsassy

Path, thanks for responding so thoroughly. You are an empathetic person.

That’s my fear, I think. Whack - a - mole.

The addict personality. My dad is the same way. When booze became inconvenient (age, health issues) he moved to Norco, and there is a long history of my dad food binging, as well. And smoking.

I’m actually deeply afraid of some of the addictions I am prone to....not going to get into them all.

I don’t want to go to therapy. It’s so expensive!! How can I help myself? Maybe OA? Books? .....yoga?

Ken33xx

My wife is into yoga.

Practices it every evening.

Me? I find jogging beneficial along with regular exercise.

Cosima11

Great topic! I go to hot yoga every once in a while with a co-worker/friend, but I've been wanting to commit to going regularly. It's extremely relaxing and improves my quality of sleep.

I don't meditate regularly but really should form a routine. When I first became interested in Refuge Recovery there were no meetings in my city.. I guess there is one now but it's at a time when I always have to work. It's probably a matter of time before another one is formed so if/when that happens I'll definitely check it out. I didn't know much about Buddhist philosophy but bought a book called "Dancing With Life" about the four noble truths and found it to be super relevant to recovery.

Weirdly enough I went though a highly "spiritual" phase in my drinking life where I became very interested in things like chakras, energy, oracle/tarot cards, etc. Being sober I feel I've actually lost touch with some of that a bit and am still trying to sort out whether it was a legit interest or just a phase.

Pathwaytofree

I think you'll enjoy it, August. It was a really good movie.

I have these similarities too. I sometimes wish people in AA would talk more about cross-addictions. But they just view AA for alcohol only, given one of the traditions. I've seen people get well from using the steps and/or big book for addictions other than alcohol. I'm not sure why 12-step focuses so much on the actual addictive substance/behavior versus the underlying stuff.

This is a very interesting thing you brought up. I have used sleep/napping as escapism since I was very young. I hadn't realized I was using it as an adult to avoid my feelings. I thought it was just a poor coping mechanism.

I had a day of mindful awareness. I had new truths hit me so hard, that I had a cathartic cry over it. Reading your post about food, shopping, and sleep during recovery to escape feelings was perfect timing for me. You have great insight into yourself, August. And I like how you're always determined to do something about your insights.

I'm very grateful to you and everyone on this thread.

August252015

Thank you, Path. My beloved and I watched Silver Linings last night. It was terrific- and I was impressed by the excellent portrayal of mental illness. The movie wasn't about any kind of addiction but the emotions brought up for me about living with mental illness in my mom's bipolar, my own struggles with correct & incorrect diagnoses of some things, and listening to those who also know struggle were....intense, funny, beautiful, all sorts of things.

My husband and I see a wonderful pastoral counselor. We had intended to do the pre-marital counseling some Christian denominations recommend but then we decided to get married earlier so it became post-marital. It's awesome and among the many things I am grateful for about my husband is his willingness to grow in communication style and self-awareness compared to the way his fam "never talked about stuff." The other day, our counselor remarked upon my sincere seeking of a PhD in my struggles to apply it to a best life now. Sometimes, I think that my determination to [succeed at ___ ] was what nearly killed me with alcohol - and is the root of my absolute commitment to recovery.

I often think how good strategies to cope with life can become detrimental - for alcoholics and everyone else. Another one of mine that has served me well in school, a consultative sales career and that insight you mentioned? Reading. It was ALWAYS mentioned and praised in teacher evals etc from a very young school age. A funny "story" in my family was how I used one of those long closets 70s and 80s house have - the kind where the shelving doesn't run the whole length and there are folding doors, if anyone is familiar. I created a little "reading nook" at the end w/o the shelves, and kept a stack of books, a stuffed animal or two to hold, and would always be there in the times my mom had to look for me bc the house was so quiet Looking back, I connect that to escapism -as well as my pretty lifelong anxiety and coping mechanisms - since I started reading at 4, and did this pallet/nook combo thing starting at 5 or 6....and have always been happy reading for hours, yet another clear pattern

That quote about having a strategy for dealing with emotions is going to be my weekend post on the FB page I manage for the recovery group. It applies to pretty much everything in life!!

FindingMyNext

I find it unbearable when people spout off about the benefits of yoga.

BUT.

I started doing yoga NOT for all the blahblahblah mindfulness and breathing and zen, but for the fitness. My body (and mind) was SO over the running I'd done for three decades, and there's a hot yoga studio near my house that's hard core. I grumbled my way in the doors one day and have not stopped. I attribute a lot of my sobriety success thus far with yoga (and SR!!)... I go every single morning, sweat it out, and get my head straight for the day. On hard days I go to an evening class too, if I can. (I attended 380 classes last year). Over time it's turned into the mindfulness and breathing I've needed.

I think the key is finding a place (and teachers/mentors/leaders) you really like and that motivate you to keep going and work on your best self. If that's breathing/yoga/meditation, great. If it's running, great. SoulCycle, great. Whatever make you stronger, right?

Pathwaytofree

I appreciate everyone's input here adding that we can be mindful/meditative from many other things besides yoga.

Maybe we can keep moving the thread in that direction.

(Boring explanation: Yoga was in my thread title because I see the connect it has with meditation. My yoga classes talk about focusing on breath to connect mind/body/soul and quiet the mind. I learned that yoga was originally created for people to be able to sit in meditation. Meditation is a part of mindfulness. )

I experience mindfulness when I walk my dog, brush her, or watch her sleep. Walking in nature. Chopping veggies. Sipping a cup of tea. Listening to birds. Watching children play and laugh. Raking leaves. Exercising. Listening to music. Watching animals. Seeing a baseball game. Anything that gets me to focus on the moment and away from the chatter in my mind.

I remember watching a video of a panda bear eating bamboo. It slowed me down and got me to focus on the moment. I wasn't thinking. I was just watching, observing, listening. It almost felt like that middle ground between the extremes of depression and anxiety that I've spent a lifetime searching for. I was just being.

Caramel

I came across this article on grounding techniques when I first began researching it.

I found it very helpful -

https://trans4mind.com/jamesharveystout/ground.htm

Kaneda8888

I would recommend Eckhart Tolle for a secular perspective on mindfulness and living in the now.

https://www.eckharttolle.com/

There are youtube videos which are free.

Pathwaytofree

Thanks, Caramel. My therapist has mentioned grounding to me before and it sounded very helpful. I also had a nurse use grounding techniques with me during a panic attack. It helped but it's just difficult to remember it in the moment. It does seem like a way to bring my awareness into the moment with all my senses and out of the chatter in my mind.

Pathwaytofree

Eckhart was where I first learned about how the "I" is separate than the "my". How the "I" can be the observer of "my" mind. He's still a bit deep for me to understand entirely, but I enjoy his quotes and videos. I've tried reading PON. I need to try again. A friend suggested to just read 3-4 pages at a time, and let that sink in.

Pathwaytofree

Stayingsassy, I am very sorry to hear about your dad. I hope it helps to remember how happy and proud of you he was that you stopped drinking.

My therapist's point was that until we feel our feelings--all of them--we're going to keep running from 1 addiction to the next. It's a process but I am finally learning to acknowledge, sit, and be with my feelings.

It reminds me of a quote "The only way out is thru".

This same therapist used to suggest I not focus so much on labels. He was right. I think labels become a self-fulfilling prophecy for some of us.

I learned the hard way that external stuff, although very helpful, are not always entirely the answers to addiction. The answers are internal. I went to OA for a short time. I realized that although I do feel better when I eliminate (in my case, moderate and not use as a coping mechanism) sugar, white flour, and caffeine, it was still an external solution to an internal problem.

Grymt

Thank you for this topic.

I practice Sila or Morality in the form of simple precepts that aim to respect the life of beings and stop the creation of new negative reactions.

I practice Body Contemplation in the form of Anapana Sati (out-breath and in-breath awareness or mindfulness of he natural breath as it is in the moment) This helps to concentrate the mind. To have a tranquil mind. A calm mind.

With this concentration I practice Vipassana or mindfulness or insight into the rising and passing away of phenomena on the mind – body like sensations, feelings, mental formations. Simple equanimous observation of the impermanent, no-self, unsatisfactory nature of reality, as it is, from moment ot moment.

Reducing the intake of irritants like wheat, gluten and dairy helps a lot.

Exercise like weight training, stretching, and aerobics while remaining mindful helps greatly.

Over time there is growing happiness, acceptance, compassion.

At the moment keeping it simple and not devolving into esoteric language to convey something simple is a challenge.

Continuity of practice is the secret of success.

Be Happy, Peaceful and Liberated.

Stayingsassy

I used to cry at yoga. Before I stopped drinking. During savasana (is that what it’s called)? I’d start crying and struggle to stop so that others couldn’t see me.

I’ve been to yoga twice this week. One was yin and one was more active. At the end of both I fell into what I can only describe as a trance. Not moving. Not thinking exactly, more like drifting. No tears or crying, even though I lost my father on Friday.

I’ll be going back.

Pathwaytofree

I used to do yoga in the back of the room and leave at Savasana. Now I stay for it. I cried 2 weeks ago during savasana. I didn't mind if anyone heard/saw. I read a while ago on SR that crying during yoga happens sometimes, and it's a good release.

I've had this happen, too. I think it's great when we are not thinking and just being. It's like we are finally just sitting with our feelings.

I look forward to hearing more. Hmm should we start a yoga thread on the forum to share things like this?

SoberCAH

Me, too, Ken.

I've been running on the same feet and knees now for over 40 years.

There can be a really spiritual aspect to running for me, especially if I'm on a long run.

Kaneda8888

This is very useful to know. I havent come across this before as I have been focusing on Mahayana practices. Definitely worth looking into. Thanks !