New perspective on my sobriety
Redmayne
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Manchester, England, UK.
Posts: 1,543
I always like new perspectives..
I always like new perspectives, on just about anything, that said, with the advent of my 11th sober anniversary due next month. I never forget the advice that, if sobriety. It will be the second thing you lose...
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,169
Originally Posted by MaggieJ 
Im somewhat in limbo with my sobriety for lack of a better way to explain it. It’s just become a way of life and I’m not feeling concerned about a relapse but wondering if I’m being too complacent. I spent 30 years trying to quit and I’m only in my late 40s. If I couldn’t quit for 30 years, why is it feeling so easy right now? Not sure what I’m trying to say but I appreciate the stories shared here.
let's look at your concerns about complacency. If you are actually complacent, that would be a red flag, but is that what you are feeling?
Loss of fear does not equal complacency.
Loss of caring about yourself might be.
For now adopt an attitude of vigilance. It doesn't have to be hyper vigilance where all your nerve endings are in constant agitation. If you've been to meetings or following threads, you've been told about avoiding risky places, risky friends, and other danger points that may apply to you. Watch for them.
You'll know them when they appear. Maybe the biggest danger is an unexpected craving, or thinking one drink won't hurt. You are at a point now where you can laugh it off and throw in a little comedy drama while you're at it.
You can also add confidence along with your vigilance. You've made it this far. You have a right to feel confident in your abilities. 14 months didn't happen by chance. That was you doing some heavy lifting early on.
If complacency spooks you, add a new tool to your arsenal. For me it was vigilance combined with the power to make correct decisions when facing risk. I don't think it should be much different for you.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 84
DriGuy, I have read through your input/advice several times. Thank you. It’s given me so much to think about and helped to understand what exactly I’m struggling with...even if I’m struggling. I’ll continue to think about what to do with this somewhat unsettling feeling. How to compartmentalize it perhaps.
Without a doubt I feel better, and my life is better, with 14+ months of sobriety behind me. But, I wish it didn’t have to be like this. One opportunity after another has presented itself recently to have a drink (socially) at what would otherwise be great events to attend...and I just don’t. And I’m not happy about it. Eg: drinks after work with people I’d like to socialize with. When the whole point is going for “drinks” after work, going and ordering a gingerale isn’t an option - not in these circles. Not without it seeming incredibly odd and noticeable.
I won’t give up on sobriety but feels like I will continue to struggle with the opportunities I’m missing out on - while reminding myself to be thankful for the drama I’ve also cut out - as well as the god-awful hangovers. Truthfully though, looking forward to a day when sobriety will no longer be coupled with a bit of resentment - about having to stay sober. Going to assume that this either comes with time or constant reminders of the problems alcohol has caused in my life.
Without a doubt I feel better, and my life is better, with 14+ months of sobriety behind me. But, I wish it didn’t have to be like this. One opportunity after another has presented itself recently to have a drink (socially) at what would otherwise be great events to attend...and I just don’t. And I’m not happy about it. Eg: drinks after work with people I’d like to socialize with. When the whole point is going for “drinks” after work, going and ordering a gingerale isn’t an option - not in these circles. Not without it seeming incredibly odd and noticeable.
I won’t give up on sobriety but feels like I will continue to struggle with the opportunities I’m missing out on - while reminding myself to be thankful for the drama I’ve also cut out - as well as the god-awful hangovers. Truthfully though, looking forward to a day when sobriety will no longer be coupled with a bit of resentment - about having to stay sober. Going to assume that this either comes with time or constant reminders of the problems alcohol has caused in my life.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 3,597
Originally Posted by NYCDoglvr
Many years ago I was at a meeting and the man next to me was crying. He said he'd had six years and now couldn't stop drinking after six rehabs. I never saw him again. A shrink who specialized in addiction went out with 27 years but made it back. Hope I never forget.
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