Change01
All is Change
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,284
Change01
Change
Contrary to impression or wishes there is change, a continual flux in everything that is composed. Everything that is composed or comes into being eventually decomposes, dies, erodes, corrodes - changes.
If one clings to something as if it is permanent then when that something is gone there is grief.
Like someone sitting by the river watching the water flow, watching the coming and going, the composition and decomposition, without attachment discovers that the things that one was so attached to are in fact not-self.
I can be the observer of the not-self. I don't need to become miserable because things change.
Change is inherent in all things. Clinging to that which is impermanent leads to misery. The impermanent manifestations are not-self.
Learn to equanimously observe and let go of the continually changing and be happy.
Contrary to impression or wishes there is change, a continual flux in everything that is composed. Everything that is composed or comes into being eventually decomposes, dies, erodes, corrodes - changes.
If one clings to something as if it is permanent then when that something is gone there is grief.
Like someone sitting by the river watching the water flow, watching the coming and going, the composition and decomposition, without attachment discovers that the things that one was so attached to are in fact not-self.
I can be the observer of the not-self. I don't need to become miserable because things change.
Change is inherent in all things. Clinging to that which is impermanent leads to misery. The impermanent manifestations are not-self.
Learn to equanimously observe and let go of the continually changing and be happy.
All is Change
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,284
The habit is to mask the pain.
I know that all I'm doing is suppressing the pain while my body and psyche is still dealing with the pain on a sub conscious level. The pain, or craving or misery (whatever it is I'm not accepting) hasn't gone away. Rather I'm training my mind to react to it. This habit becomes fine tuned so sometimes I hardly notice it kicking in. The pain becomes a constant background 'noise' in my life. I'm constantly irritated, jumpy, anxious. Indulging in my addiction seems the only way for relief.
If I'm here I know that in the end it doesn't work. I've come here for a reason. To find the relief without the drink or drug.
I stop indulging and the long suppressed pain comes flooding in. At this point I have to keep in mind the basics. One of the fundamental basics is "this will also pass" and I keep this in mind. All is change. That which is changing is not-me. It doesn't matter if it is pleasant, un-pleasant or neutral. I don't cling to that which is changing. I let it go. Let it change. That is its nature. I don't work contrary to this nature.
Now my habit becomes to accept truth as it is. Moment to moment.
I start to seek out the truth.
A basic way to know truth is to study a basic truth that is with me wherever I am and whatever I'm doing whenever in my life, from birth to death. I breathe. The breath is either coming in or going out or neither. While I am aware of the breath I have turned my mind to knowing truth. My truth. Constantly changing.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
I used alcohol for a lot of things for many years - masking pain, hiding insecurities, self-medicating my mental illness, lots of things. But in the end of course it made them all worse - plus caused lot of new problems.
You mention acceptance several times and I agree that it was the cornerstone of recovery for me, I hope you can find the same peace for yourself.
You mention acceptance several times and I agree that it was the cornerstone of recovery for me, I hope you can find the same peace for yourself.
All is Change
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,284
Acceptance is important on the path to sobriety. Recognition that intoxicants are a problem. Not just recognition but also acceptance that there is a way out of the problem. But it is true acceptance that makes the difference . . . Acceptance without acting on it is like sitting on a chair describing a marathon race. If you don't get out of the chair and put one foot in front of the other you won't get to the finish line.
You might be able to describe the path of the race in fine elaborate detail and you might have many people listening, and applauding, as you reach the finish line description but the only person listening to, or telling, the story who can reach the finish line is the one who gets up and sets out on the path.
Acceptance without the action is blind. You might sit and pray "please take me to the finish line, please take me to the finish line, please take me to the finish line.". You might squeeze your eyes shut and wish it to happen. Light candles, make pfferings.. Blind faith. You may think the wishes of a wise person can help you reach the finish line. You may think that if you can explain the path you will somehow be carried to the finish line. Blind acceptance. Blind knowledge. In the end, the only thing that will take you towards the finish line is you yourself getting up off your butt and doing the hard work.
As you do so you will confront all the reasons why you have in the past chosen to take intoxicants. You will need a strong, focused mind. (Continuous, equanimous mindfulness of the in and out breathing will give you that.) Stay close to support. Like here on soberrecovery.com/forums/alcoholism , your local AA and so on. It will take time and commitment to ride out the storms and to change a long cherished habit to avoid the realities you are now facing but it can be done and is done on a daily basis by many people across the globe. The result is well worth it. Be Happy.
You might be able to describe the path of the race in fine elaborate detail and you might have many people listening, and applauding, as you reach the finish line description but the only person listening to, or telling, the story who can reach the finish line is the one who gets up and sets out on the path.
Acceptance without the action is blind. You might sit and pray "please take me to the finish line, please take me to the finish line, please take me to the finish line.". You might squeeze your eyes shut and wish it to happen. Light candles, make pfferings.. Blind faith. You may think the wishes of a wise person can help you reach the finish line. You may think that if you can explain the path you will somehow be carried to the finish line. Blind acceptance. Blind knowledge. In the end, the only thing that will take you towards the finish line is you yourself getting up off your butt and doing the hard work.
As you do so you will confront all the reasons why you have in the past chosen to take intoxicants. You will need a strong, focused mind. (Continuous, equanimous mindfulness of the in and out breathing will give you that.) Stay close to support. Like here on soberrecovery.com/forums/alcoholism , your local AA and so on. It will take time and commitment to ride out the storms and to change a long cherished habit to avoid the realities you are now facing but it can be done and is done on a daily basis by many people across the globe. The result is well worth it. Be Happy.
All is Change
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,284
It seems a long time ago now but one of the first things I tried was moderation. I probably did all the usual things, AA, will power, rehabs, self sabotage, psychiatrists and some more off beat things like Primal Therapy and Vipassana Meditation. Each led to others and eventually to sobriety. All my experiences sustain me but mindfulness is key.
All is Change
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,284
Mindfulness :
The mindfulness is of a universal truth. The same for all at any time. Something that is with all, rich or poor, in sickness or health, when born, when dying, in whatever bodily position taken, standing, walking, sitting, lying down : the breath.
Particularly the breath as it is at the nostrils.
The mindfulness is of a particular quality : even minded, a balanced observation : Equanimous.
The mind wanders : bring it back. It wanders again : bring it back. Keep doing that and the mind calms down. There is now focus, stability, strength, balance.
The habit is to follow the wandering mind as it flits about from subject to subject, remenicing, fantisising, passionate, sad, angry, coveting. This is the 'monkey mind'. When focused the monkey is kept on a rope, in control. When asleep, the monkey climbs and swings from branch to branch. Awake, and the mindfulness of the in and out breathing pulls the monkey in and it settles.
The habit should be to recognize the chaotic mind and to subdue it by immediately going to an awareness of the breath. The habit is to forget the mindfulness and swing along with the monkey. Change the habit.
Just awareness. Not trying to control it in any way. Remember this is a study of truth. Not a manufactured truth but a truth as it is from moment to moment. As the breath is at any moment, accept that and keep observing. It continually changes. Accept that. The breath is not-self. Accept that. Don't cling to the breath. Don't be attached to it. The chaos, anger, passion, misery is not-self. Like the breath it comes and goes. Let it come. Let it go. Let it be and Be Happy.
The mindfulness is of a universal truth. The same for all at any time. Something that is with all, rich or poor, in sickness or health, when born, when dying, in whatever bodily position taken, standing, walking, sitting, lying down : the breath.
Particularly the breath as it is at the nostrils.
The mindfulness is of a particular quality : even minded, a balanced observation : Equanimous.
The mind wanders : bring it back. It wanders again : bring it back. Keep doing that and the mind calms down. There is now focus, stability, strength, balance.
The habit is to follow the wandering mind as it flits about from subject to subject, remenicing, fantisising, passionate, sad, angry, coveting. This is the 'monkey mind'. When focused the monkey is kept on a rope, in control. When asleep, the monkey climbs and swings from branch to branch. Awake, and the mindfulness of the in and out breathing pulls the monkey in and it settles.
The habit should be to recognize the chaotic mind and to subdue it by immediately going to an awareness of the breath. The habit is to forget the mindfulness and swing along with the monkey. Change the habit.
Just awareness. Not trying to control it in any way. Remember this is a study of truth. Not a manufactured truth but a truth as it is from moment to moment. As the breath is at any moment, accept that and keep observing. It continually changes. Accept that. The breath is not-self. Accept that. Don't cling to the breath. Don't be attached to it. The chaos, anger, passion, misery is not-self. Like the breath it comes and goes. Let it come. Let it go. Let it be and Be Happy.
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