JamesSquire

Hi All

Been good then bad, but mostly bad.

Got picked up DUI last week, luckily low level. Do you think it has curbed my drinking ...NO!

Got to have a court appearance, probably a suspension of my license.

Can't for the life of me work out why I can't just stop.

Get up in the morning and feel like a drink ... I'm in a crazy state.

Thank you but please no AA recommendations but any other helpful hints will be greatly appreciated.

Been to doctors, psychotherapist, hypnotherapist and to no avail.

Read lots and it all tells me I have to take control but I have so low self esteem that I let my emotions control my life.

I need someone who can mirror what I'm saying and have pulled themselves out, please help!

JS

sortofhomecomin

Sorry to hear things aren't so great right now.
Reading this I think you could benefit from in-patient detox & rehab, is this something that is practical for you?

Dee74

Hi and welcome back JS

Have you considered other groups like SMART or LifeRing,. or Rational Recovery?

I'm all for people finding their own way to recovery but if you can't stop on your own and, low DUI or not, you've been putting yourself in situations than endanger you and other folks on the road....

Maybe you need to compromise a little and open the parameters on what you're prepared to do?

Maybe the court could help find you a rehab programme for example?

D

theVman31

James,
When i was in bad benders i would just want to drink all the time.
Wake up in the morning and just pour a glass of whiskey.
I used to drive too. Wake up in a semi conscious state and drive off to find another bottle. Got put off the road twice. One crash sent some people away in an ambulance.

Then I had my own child and the consciousness or realisation that I could kill somebody else or somebondy elses child became a very strong factor in my motiviation.

Relapses and benders still happenned though.
Then i suppose I accepted that I was really but really powerless when it came to drinking. I just ended up realising thanks to being on here too on SR, seeing a therapist too that if it was my thoughts that were sending me off to get drink it is also my thoughts and the control of those thoughts that will stop me from drinking.

What im basically trying to say is that it got so bad that i wanted to stop more than i wanted to drink. And it really is as simple as that.

One can call it what they like rock bottom. You just have to want it.
An addictologue once said to me rock bottom doesnt exist there is no rock bottom in addiction. That hamster rat brain will keep turning that wheel.
An addict is never cured they just control.
Thats how you can HELP yourself.
ODAAT.

D122y

James,

It is not about wanting to drink in the morning or whenever. It is about needing the drink.

Without it the brain and body go into detox and withdrawals. After that, about a month, the brain's like a fish out of water. The world moves too fast, lights are too bright, sounds are too loud.

Brain damage.

This takes months to heal or rewire. If there is a mix of meds to boot, that is another level of hell to endure.

As the healing progresses, the crave continues. The crave is a chronic condition. It will never go away. Some folks need AA meetings etc to keep it at bay.

Others see the crave as is science. I am an addict for life.

I suffered so badly to ge this clean. SR got me this far. I have the gift of sobriety.

Suffering for months and months is the only way out. Relapse and it starts over.

Most don't make it. They give up and die a drunk.

I pray every day thanking God for another clean day.

Thanks.

entropy1964

I know for me I had to be willing to do anything to stay sober. Facing my emotions and sitting with them was number one. Take alcohol away and I still have **** poor coping skills.

I learned coping skills by listening and sharing with other alcoholics. Number 1 coping skill, don't drink, no matter what, don't change your mind. Without that complete commitment there is nothing else.

Are you willing to do whatever it takes to stay sober?

ScottFromWI

Welcome back James. As most have said, it's really got to come from within you. AA, rehab, counseling, therapy, other recovery groups - none of them can "fix" you - you need to do that yourself. The flip side of that is that you already have everything you need right inside you to quit. All you have to do is decide/choose to do it. Sounds crazy, right? But we all did and so can you.

You can use SR for support or any other networks/groups/programs that you want to - and It's encouraged to do so - but why not just decide that today is the day that you stop drinking forever? It's really that simple - albeit no "easy". Maybe try signing up for the class of November over in newcomers to get some accountability and help you build up your confidence?

JamesSquire

Appreciate what you've said Scott, yes the commitment has to come within me. I've been told that numerous times. Something in my life is 'out of wack'. For the life of me I can't figure it out. I've got just about everything a person would dream off.

JamesSquire

Thanks, Dee
I'll look into SMART
JS

Guener

I moved from the crazy state (drinking despite consequences) to the desperately tired death of my ego. I stopped recently because I can no longer stand either the outcomes or the feelings. I am tired of the grief of alcohol:

1. Tired of losing my self-worth bit by bit
2. Tired of the legal consequences
3. Tired of the financial consequences
4. Tired of the embarrassment of losing jobs
5. Tired of hurting others
6. Tired of losing relationships
7. Tired of the hospital visits
8. Tired of being homeless
9. Tired of the shameful mornings
10. Tired of damn hopelessness

All of the above was making me suicidal in my thoughts and nearly action. But I would die anyway unless I changed. I decided I wasn't going to die if I could do anything to rescue myself from my misery. I'm not an unusual drunk at all.

Dee74

Hi James

Something in my life was out of whack too - and I thought I had to fix whatever that was before I could stop drinking.

In fact the opposite was true - I had to stop drinking so I could discover and find solutions to what was out of whack in me.

D

JamesSquire

Thanks Dee

It's good advise.

All the professionals, I saw, kept harping on the cause, so I kept searching.

The hypnotherapist I saw even asked me if I had a traumatic birth. I can't remember that far back!

JS

dwtbd

You have the ability to be in complete control of the cause.
The cause is all in the elbow , to gain complete control over that cause you have to break through the illusion that you are not already in control of your elbows.
Wanting more booze isn’t a causal affect in getting drunk, bending your elbow and swallowing the booze is.
You may not be able to control the wanting , but you can do something, ie nothing, about it.
Rootin for ya

HTown

The cause is simple. You are drinking. Do not get wrapped up in why, just stop the behavior. The why is not important, the drinking is causing you problems. You want to keep drinking, but the simple fact is you must stop completely.

I know that sounds scary or sad or a bummer, but trust me it is the best thing ever.

You have bought into the idea that alcohol is a reward or a right or you earned it if you are anything like me. It is none of those things.

I was very unhappy, have everything in the world, but felt like a failure. It was the alcohol. Once I stopped, things got a lot better.