Anxiety for years?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Columbus
Posts: 12
Anxiety for years?
Hello Everyone
i have been on here for a few years. Never post or talk much, just read for inspiration. I am calling my date of sobriety February 14, 2016. I am happily coming up on 3 years now. I have had times where I have just cruised along no worries, then there have been times of extreme anxiety about the future. Never about drinking! I think I have been able to squash that. I can buy my wife the occasional bottle of wine, make her a mixed drink, pick her up a beer and it never bothers me. Our “liquor” cabinet above the stove is absolutely full of bottles. That sure would have never happened years ago! It’s easy to say live each day the best you can, but I cannot buy into it. I’m always afraid my next bloodwork will come back with something they have missed and now it all bad. I worry myself so much I hurt. I know I have extreme anxiety and I hate taking pills because it seems like another addiction. They may be something stupid to say, but it is how I feel. Not sure if anyone has some line of thinking, but I wanted to throw it on the wall and see if someone says each year it gets better or......
really just pouring some thoughts out.
To all of those that post regularly- thank you. You have helped me stay sober for almost 3 years. I’m a better husband and father for it!
josh
i have been on here for a few years. Never post or talk much, just read for inspiration. I am calling my date of sobriety February 14, 2016. I am happily coming up on 3 years now. I have had times where I have just cruised along no worries, then there have been times of extreme anxiety about the future. Never about drinking! I think I have been able to squash that. I can buy my wife the occasional bottle of wine, make her a mixed drink, pick her up a beer and it never bothers me. Our “liquor” cabinet above the stove is absolutely full of bottles. That sure would have never happened years ago! It’s easy to say live each day the best you can, but I cannot buy into it. I’m always afraid my next bloodwork will come back with something they have missed and now it all bad. I worry myself so much I hurt. I know I have extreme anxiety and I hate taking pills because it seems like another addiction. They may be something stupid to say, but it is how I feel. Not sure if anyone has some line of thinking, but I wanted to throw it on the wall and see if someone says each year it gets better or......
really just pouring some thoughts out.
To all of those that post regularly- thank you. You have helped me stay sober for almost 3 years. I’m a better husband and father for it!
josh
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
I know ScottFromWI often posts about his past health anxiety and that therapy helped him overcome it.
Anxiety/fear can be managed. There are lots of therapies and medications, breathing exercises, meditation, visualization, exercise, nutrition etc. I try to just not let the thoughts grab hold, I pay attention to what I'm thinking about and mindfully change it when I start worrying. Worry is like a rocking chair: it gives me something to do but it doesn't get me anywhere.
You don't have to torture yourself with your own thoughts.
Anxiety/fear can be managed. There are lots of therapies and medications, breathing exercises, meditation, visualization, exercise, nutrition etc. I try to just not let the thoughts grab hold, I pay attention to what I'm thinking about and mindfully change it when I start worrying. Worry is like a rocking chair: it gives me something to do but it doesn't get me anywhere.
You don't have to torture yourself with your own thoughts.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 983
Hey gr555
congrats on 3 years. I too suffer from anxiety/health anxiey it sometimes pulls the rug from my feet. Have you tried therapy? That has helped me massively. Also an app my therapist got me onto called stop, breath, think is amazing for breathing and clearing the mind. You can use it anytime and it stops the panic taking flight.
your not alone. There is an anxiety thread here too. Take care
congrats on 3 years. I too suffer from anxiety/health anxiey it sometimes pulls the rug from my feet. Have you tried therapy? That has helped me massively. Also an app my therapist got me onto called stop, breath, think is amazing for breathing and clearing the mind. You can use it anytime and it stops the panic taking flight.
your not alone. There is an anxiety thread here too. Take care
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Columbus
Posts: 12
Thank you for the replies. LPG I went and read some of your threads and we are / were in the exact same boat. Thank you for posting so that other know it’s “normal” to have these feelings!
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by biminiblue 
I know ScottFromWI often posts about his past health anxiety and that therapy helped him overcome it.
Anxiety/fear can be managed.
Anxiety/fear can be managed.
But yes, anxiety is manageable for sure. The first hurdle I had to clear to start managing mine was acceptance - just like I had to accept my addiction for what it is, I also had to accept that my anxiety issues were a very real and separate issue. For years I had hoped that my quitting drinking would help, and it did to a certain extent - but it wasn't until I was diagnosed and fully accepted that I needed to treat the issue until I really started getting better.
The anxiety response is a NORMAL response - it's important to accept that too. Our bodies are designed to have a fight-or-flight response to keep our species alive. So that funny feeling in your gut, the increased heartbeat, the sweaty palms, fast breathign, etc... are supposed to happen to every single one of us. The problem is that those of us with anxiety disorders tend to overreact or react to things that might not really be dangerous. For example, in the past I used to have episodes where I might be standing in line at a grocery store and out of the blue I would just start panicking that I had to be out of there this very instant...and I'll admit that I left a full cart of groceries in the checkout line once. Or sometimes if something was a legitimate threat like a near-miss car accident, it would take me literally hours to calm back down.
What helped me the most was seeing a therapist and working out strategies to live with my anxiety - which also included health related anxiety. I've used Meditation/Minfulness, reading books, controlling my caffeine/sugar intake, cutting out stimulation before bed to help with sleep, moderate exercises - there was no one "magic bullet" that did the trick. I even tried a couple of meds and while one actually made things worse, the other helped me get over the hump so to speak.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
Congrats on your sobriety. Anxiety used to be a big problem for me too. My first sponsor taught me to stop projecting, which is where anxiety lives (unless you're facing down a tiger). I learned to reel my mind back into today, to slow my breathing and get centered (meditation is a HUGE help with this). One technique is a gratitude list, which brings me into the present. Also, I realized that I am almost 100% wrong when I project (which is invariably negative). I'm powerless over the future and the past, where my power lies is today.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Columbus
Posts: 12
Again, thank you all for replying. It’s really weird....the getting sober part was easy. I literally walked out and dumped it all I and told myself I would not drink again. That was it. Minus one instance 8 months in when I was at Wrigley Field watching a Cubs - Cardinals game I ordered an Itilian Beef and beer. I took a drink as I got back to my seat and laughed at how stupid that was. I dumped it out never to do anything like that again. I have been to (2) company trips to Japan where drinking nightly is a ritual and another trip to Thailand where it’s extreme partying every night in Bangkok. Every case I made it through without ever considering alcohol. I guess I am extremely disappointed in myself for never shutting the switch off sooner. I tell myself shutting it off at 35 is better than 40 or 45. That is what shas lead to bouts of extreme fear about my health. I have had labs and all come back as normal. I had CT scans with contrast in late 2016 because I thought I had an ulcer and everything has came back normal. The discomfort was all stress / fear related. I have been diagnosed with a fatty liver but I do carry weight around the mid section. Doc said she wasn’t concerned since everything else is normal and she said truth be told a ton of people in the US have fatty livers and don’t know it because of our unhealthy lifestyles. I have since lost close to 80lbs. Should be close to 225 by year end. Happy about that. Just still majorly scared I’m not gonna make it till tomorrow. Amazing how our brains do that. I have been fine for about a year now then read an article about someone who had quit then 2 years later started having bad labs. Now my mind has been racing that I’m gonna get bad now that I have quit.
Thanks again for talking with me
Thanks again for talking with me
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: West Tn
Posts: 3,043
This is, I think, a more pervasive issue than the general public is aware of.
I think that is the case in part because many people are reticent to discuss mental health issues.
I would strongly recommend that you be more amenable to whatever remedies give you relief irrespective of your conflating taking medications with addiction.
They are not always the same thing.
The meds I have taken for my anxiety, which have successfully addressed it I might add, don't make me feel good.
They just keep me from being anxious.
I have never once been tempted to vastly exceed the recommended dosage.
They are not euphoric.
With my doctor's permission, I previously attempted to wean myself off of them, but the anxiety returned.
So now I just take them every morning before I go to work.
For me, if I have a problem that a pill will fix (a pill prescribed by a competent psychiatrist, of course, not prescribed by me), it's no problem at all.
Good luck, amigo.
I think that is the case in part because many people are reticent to discuss mental health issues.
I would strongly recommend that you be more amenable to whatever remedies give you relief irrespective of your conflating taking medications with addiction.
They are not always the same thing.
The meds I have taken for my anxiety, which have successfully addressed it I might add, don't make me feel good.
They just keep me from being anxious.
I have never once been tempted to vastly exceed the recommended dosage.
They are not euphoric.
With my doctor's permission, I previously attempted to wean myself off of them, but the anxiety returned.
So now I just take them every morning before I go to work.
For me, if I have a problem that a pill will fix (a pill prescribed by a competent psychiatrist, of course, not prescribed by me), it's no problem at all.
Good luck, amigo.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Columbus
Posts: 12
Thank you! I understand meds(prescribed by a true professional) and alcohol are two totally different things. I just deep down in the black hole between my ears consider that I am masking my true feelings. That is what I used alcohol for. I know that the little white pill won’t destroy my body per say, but it still feels like masking the real me. I want to love the real me, understand the real me and be able to be happy with the real me. I have put almost 3 years into making myself better and I believe I am in a better place. I want to destroy one of the last Demons that I have. I know I am a better husband and a better father to my 7&2yr old boys. They are amazing and deserve an amazing family!
thank you all and hats off to everyone that is heading to bed tonight sober!
thank you all and hats off to everyone that is heading to bed tonight sober!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 983
Originally Posted by gr555
Thank you for the replies. LPG I went and read some of your threads and we are / were in the exact same boat. Thank you for posting so that other know it’s “normal” to have these feelings!
yes I can make you feel so isolated at time especially if people round you dont understand. My parnter is amazing and supportive but mental health is something he just doesnt get so its get to have sr to come too for that.
its funny you mention the meds too I have never taken them for fear off...who knows but I was scared to take them anyway but would think nothing of throwing pills from a dealers down my throat without batting an eyelid
have often reconsidered trying meds. regards to the health anxiety, I seen a psychologist at hospital for quite some time about my health anxiety and anxiety around dying and also I get horrific anxiety thinking my family are going to be harmed. He told me to stop googling illness, something I done alot I was almost ocd about it, and when the urge came to look keep myself busy for 30 mins urges usually peak after 20/30 mins. My google history looks better these days.
if you havent tried therapy yet I would strongly advise it, Its so worth it. Its changed my life.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 252
Congrats on 3 years coming up, that's awesome. I, too, struggle with anxiety. I was married to a borderline for 20 years and have PTSD from that. Doc got me on some meds that help with that quite a lot. Therapy, as others have said, also helps me a great deal. Basically, I was self medicating with booze and got myself into some trouble. I had to learn to like myself again and stop sabotaging myself. Its very much a work in process. I've also lost a bunch of weight the last couple of years. Keep up the good fight.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 4
ScottFromWI (or anyone), you said you read several books on managing anxiety. Was there one in particular that you would recommend? I used to drown my anxiety with drink for years. Being newly sober (100-ish days), I could really use advice on how to manage this anxiety & stress of mine.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
the short answer for me is there is no cure or quick fix. There are just steps i can take to manage things and it takes work and effort. I slip at times and gotta get back on track with what i do to keep me even keel.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
