Toughroad1209

D122y

Tough,

The addiction is for life. Count on it. It will never go away, it will never let up.

I must get used to it and then I get stronger. The negative effects of drinking are what I use to remind myself I will never ever drink booze again.

We here totally know what you are going through and you can consider yourself still at a high bottom compared to many poor souls that have spoken up here. e.g. 3rd DUI, crashed car, hallucinations etc.

Suffering is the way I got through. When the AV says...you have been a good boy for ….insert time here.... it is ok to have a snort. That is when the suffering ramps up.

There are others ways through, meds, but I don't need them...yet. Same thing with AA...I don't do it...yet.

SR is my therapy and it has worked to get me this clean.

I curl up and suffer. The pain I feel is me getting well.

Thanks.

Toughroad1209

Toughroad1209

ScottFromWI

Glad you are back toughroad and congrats on 3 days. I did a lot of damage to people around me when I was drinking too, it doesn't make sense and it feels pretty horrible to look back at all of it, I know that feeling well.

It does seem overwhelming, but if you can take alcohol off the list for good that will solve a LOT of the problems in itself. Not all of them of course, nor will it undo what's been done - but staying sober now is a very powerful thing - keep at it.

Dee74

Things will get better toughroad - at 3 days I could barely get out of bed...stay with it

D

Stayingsassy

Yes, what dee said. The exhaustion and brain fog start to set in and stay for awhile. There are unfortunately more rude awakenings ahead.

Then the fog will lift.

I'll add my congratulations for three days! Tough times, that first week, but you are capable, you are strong, and you can do this.

RaiseAnchor

I think this is a somewhat harmful way to describe addiction to someone. I can only speak of myself, but my cravings for alcohol definitely "let up" after maybe 6-7 months of sobriety. I no longer crave it or have a need for it, ever. The only time I really think about alcohol is when I think about what a mistake it would be to ever drink alcohol again. I do understand that I will never be able to have a normal relationship with alcohol, for what it's worth, so why bother?

----

Sobriety is a lot of hard work righting the past wrongs and self-improvement, but it's not always unpleasant. Rather, it's been incredibly rewarding for me. I am so much more capable with a clear head, yet sometimes I take on more than I am capable of and that's the thing I've wrestled with.

Hang in there, Tough. It sounds like you know what you need to do today and that is to not drink.

Stayingsassy

In my experience: no, it doesn't let up: BUT! where it beats you with a hammer in the first four months, after 9 months to a year it just taps you on the shoulder, and you are much better at your response to it: after all, 300+ days of telling your addiction No is a lot of successful practice. Not only does "No" get easier, the craving leaves more quickly.

waynetheking

I'm Wayne, hey don't mentally beat yourself up over this. The alcohol has done that already. The main thing is you don't drink from now on. Develop a plan and work it. Ask anyone here that has long term sobriety. You need a plan of action my friend. Sure the guilt sucks. Always does. We ALL been thru that. I did and said horrible things while drunk. It's part of alcoholism. But you can change that now. You have to be willing, accept change and make a plan of action and work it.
come here often. We're here for ya. Just don't drink again, that's the key to happiness.

Dee74

I always try to share it does get better

I'm not constantly craving - I don't even have daydreams of drinking anymore - I don't need it.

I love who I am and I love my life

If my brain is damaged (and I concede it must be after all my misadventures even before I started drinking) it hasn't hurt me none in my quest to get sober and stay that way.

There is a chapter two tough road

Toughroad1209