My second introduction
My second introduction
I’m posting here but I’m not really sure this is where I belong. Please just bare with me for a little while. Long story short I made a couple of posts over a year ago and interacted so few that probably no one remembers me lol. I’m 22, I’ve been struggling with alcohol for two years... Altough it never "creeped up" on me like it seems to have done for most. It kind of just jumped on me instead, when I happened to go to a party while I was at a really low point. I knew from day one that I had developped a problem, because I had already started craving. This clarity of mind seems to come and go though, as it’s highly flexible when faced to the tentation. Because of this, it quickly became worse than just fighting the cravings away. I spent whole nights without sleeping because I was drinking, left myself ~30min to sober up in the bath before going to work still intoxicated and tired as hell. Hid bottles of rum to be able to drink as much as I wanted to, felt sick all the time and didn’t care, started skipping meals and living off of gatorade and ****** ramen, went to class while being a nervous, shaky mess... I tried to cut back/stop a few times but it seems like it can only last for so long. I recently started smoking weed as a mean of harm reduction. It passes the urge on something, and the consequences of smoking aren’t as bad as those of drinking. But in the end I just traded one addiction for another. It seems like I just can’t go trough life without being messed up on something. I am kind of scared for my future.
Well, UU2, I don't know anything about marijuana addiction, but substitution of one drug for another is most certainly not a good idea to gain traction on sobriety, even in the context of harm reduction, to quit alcohol. If you are in a circumstance where you cannot smoke weed, there's always your other foe waiting in the wings for you, and vice-versa. I have my doubts that you'll ever be able to stop drinking by turning to THC, so you'll always be at risk from the effects of the booze while using.
I don't know if there are effects from discontinuing smoking marijuana for a person in addiction, but there are clearly good outcomes from achieving sobriety. It seems to me that you should deal with your tendency to addiction of any drug, to be free from the consequences of either. People who are in NA (understanding that you are not doing any other forms of drug relief now) agree to abstain from all mind altering substances due to the risks of relapse, poor decision making, and all the other results that can come from using any drug to alter your feelings or behaviors. How you start to do that is a matter of choice.
I didn't see a doctor to tell me how to quit drinking, but I have been hospitalized several times from it over the years. So, I didn't need the health consequences put before me to understand that it was dangerous to me. I did come to realize recently, in the past two years, that drinking, or any other form of drug use, is a peril for my mental health, and I sought out help from that angle. I don't regularly attend AA meetings, but I have found them very helpful to me in getting a strong perspective and in helping me to define my principles for sober living. I have been sober for only a short time, so I am vigilant in practicing what I know works for me to achieve a life free from use, and it has taken me more than one start/stop/start to abstain.
The chances of my success have improved substantially as I accepted all the help that was available to me. So, you have some hard decisions to make if you believe/feel/think that you are ready to be a sober human being. It's not easy, but it is rewarding.
I don't know if there are effects from discontinuing smoking marijuana for a person in addiction, but there are clearly good outcomes from achieving sobriety. It seems to me that you should deal with your tendency to addiction of any drug, to be free from the consequences of either. People who are in NA (understanding that you are not doing any other forms of drug relief now) agree to abstain from all mind altering substances due to the risks of relapse, poor decision making, and all the other results that can come from using any drug to alter your feelings or behaviors. How you start to do that is a matter of choice.
I didn't see a doctor to tell me how to quit drinking, but I have been hospitalized several times from it over the years. So, I didn't need the health consequences put before me to understand that it was dangerous to me. I did come to realize recently, in the past two years, that drinking, or any other form of drug use, is a peril for my mental health, and I sought out help from that angle. I don't regularly attend AA meetings, but I have found them very helpful to me in getting a strong perspective and in helping me to define my principles for sober living. I have been sober for only a short time, so I am vigilant in practicing what I know works for me to achieve a life free from use, and it has taken me more than one start/stop/start to abstain.
The chances of my success have improved substantially as I accepted all the help that was available to me. So, you have some hard decisions to make if you believe/feel/think that you are ready to be a sober human being. It's not easy, but it is rewarding.
Congrats to you, UU2, for exhibiting the courage to talk with us about your problems.
It sounds like you definitely need help.
There is a world of options for you to choose from that someone will invariably post on this thread.
I was in your shoes at your age, but I didn't get help for 9 more (really rough) years.
Help for your problems exists.
I hope that you continue to seek and pursue it.
Thanks for finding SR.
It sounds like you definitely need help.
There is a world of options for you to choose from that someone will invariably post on this thread.
I was in your shoes at your age, but I didn't get help for 9 more (really rough) years.
Help for your problems exists.
I hope that you continue to seek and pursue it.
Thanks for finding SR.
Welcome back UU2, and I'd also congratulate you on recognizing the problem so early on in your life. I wish I I could have done so, it would have saved me years - decades really - of wasteful times in my life.
Don't be scared of your future...you can make it as bright as you like. You'll find a lot of support and help here to figure out how to quit - and stay quit.
Don't be scared of your future...you can make it as bright as you like. You'll find a lot of support and help here to figure out how to quit - and stay quit.
You're definately in the right place UU2! When I was around 21 I realised I had an issue with alcohol, I just couldn't stop once I got started and showed myself up a lot. I started smoking weed and for the next 15 years only drank very occasionally (maybe once or twice a year). I was blissfully unaware I was self medicating anxiety but as you mentioned the negative impact of smoking were very few and far between so I didn't really feel I had any kind of problem. Then at 36 I split with my partner and had to get a new life, which meant I had no access to purchase any more weed...so slowly but surely I started drinking again...a little at first...then more and more and more often to the point I nearly lost everything and ended up in rehab. I am only 5 months sober and it was only in rehab that I realised I had been an addict who self medicated all my life, I saw my weed smoking for what it was.
You still have a lot of life ahead of you and like Scott says I wish I had your insight and recognition at the same age as it would have saved me a lot of wasted years and guilt and shame too.
Take care and be strong! xx
You still have a lot of life ahead of you and like Scott says I wish I had your insight and recognition at the same age as it would have saved me a lot of wasted years and guilt and shame too.
Take care and be strong! xx
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Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 1,602
I went to an AA meeting yesterday where the guy giving the chair came in when he was 21. Amazing effort to recognise the problem this young. I wish you could have heard him. Really inspiring stuff, he sounds like he has an amazing life. Best of luck to you.
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