ScottFromWI

Well, at least you have identified the problem. To be honest I'm pretty sure that's been part of your problem since joining SR - you keep trying to intellectualize yourself out of the fact that you are an alcoholic. And you aren't the first to do so, nor will you be the last. Unconditional acceptance of the problem and total commitment to the solution is the only way out. And no matter "how" you go about it, you will be required to do things that you don't want to do .

I did it several times myself as well - kept waiting to quit until I could figure out WHY I was the way I am, but in the end I wanted to FIX it so I could somehow mange/control my drinking. But alas, it never worked. Only when I fully accepted that I simply cannot drink without consequences was I able to address all the other issues I had ( AKA my "reasons" for drinking ).

Someone said it here the other day - if your house is on fire, you don't wait around inside to figure out why it started - you get your butt out of the fire ASAP.

Briansy

Well, I'm nearly finished Rational recovery and withdrawals easing. Was pretty rough this time as I actually had a rat infestation in my building and so anxiety was exacerbated further. That and the knowledge of some pretty poor behaviour while on my last season. I will say that AVRT resonates with me in a way that AA didn't so I am hopeful. It's a good thing I'm at home in Ireland for 11 days in Xmas and I've cancelled some upcoming social engagements. Just not going to put myself through that. I have my own business which I have somehow managed to keep in decent order so plenty to keep me occupied in the first half of 2019.

ScottFromWI

Glad to hear things are improving Briansy. I wish you luck in putting into practice some of the things you've learned via the Rational readings. It's great that you feel that AVRT resonates well with you -but taking action and applying the concepts to your daily life is what will really get you where you want to be. Cancelling the social events sounds like a wise call at this point too - it's not that you need to quit doing those things forever, but early in sobriety it's never a bad idea to reduce the temptations and potential pitfalls.