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Really struggling today

Old 10-01-2018, 05:43 AM
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Really struggling today

I haven't been posting a lot lately, but I drop in most everyday. I've been having a tough go at things the past few days, almost a week actually. Just when I feel like I'm starting to rebuild my life, I get a few curve balls.

I was diagnosed about two months ago as being bipolar, so I'm still working my way through that. I was keeping that hush-hush for now until I am able to process the whole thing. Well, it got out and all of a sudden all the "experts" came out of the woodwork and claim its all in my head and I just need to "get over it."

I made a goal some time back to block out negative people, or at least limit my exposure. Well, that was going well until a one of those "blacklisted" people started a smear campaign (now I know how that Kavanaugh dude feels!) to destroy whatever pieces of my life are left.

Fall is my favorite season of the year and its off to a lousy start. I'm told that yoga or meditation would be a big help, but I haven't read a whole lot about that.

This is all.
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Old 10-01-2018, 05:47 AM
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Sorry, Steve.
Hang in there. This will pass.
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Old 10-01-2018, 06:02 AM
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Exercise, meditation and diet make all the difference. Hang in there brother!
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Old 10-01-2018, 06:18 AM
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Obviously none of us here can know if your diagnosis is correct or not, but I would say give it some time. Over the years I've been diagnosed with many different things and put on lots of (conflicting) meds. Usually these diagnoses are made in one hour by someone who doesn't know much about me at all. There are no tests for psychological "illnesses" and the job is to get the person medicated. Not always a correct or necessary thing to do.

I've been med-free for over ten years now and my life is just fine, thanks. No blow-ups, no over-arching problems. Working as designed. I don't believe I ever needed any of the meds, the times I was diagnosed were just during big upheavals in my personal life - and nowadays I don't let other people define my state of mind; not friends, not doctors.

Bipolar is the diagnosis du jour for anyone who has ups and downs. If yours aren't too severe, then maybe you will be able to manage it. I mean, we all have ups and downs. Periods of excitability and periods of minor depression. Like I said though - no one here can say whether your diagnosis is valid. Do you think it is?

Just don't take on a diagnosis like you would a Scarlet Letter. Even if it's valid, it's not anything you DID, it's just a disease.

As far as other people putting their noses where they don't belong? This is why I keep personal stuff personal.
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Old 10-01-2018, 09:36 AM
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Sorry to hear you are hitting a rough patch Steve. I felt some of the same when I was diagnosed with GAD and Health anxiety - a bit of denial just like I had with my addiction.

Keep in mind that some of the "experts" may have been there before too - so some of them might have valid advice to offer. Others may just be flapping their gums too, so you can always just take it with a grain of salt.

One of the most important things I did learn from my counselor though is that it's up to me to make things better. I desperately wanted a magic technique, treatment pill or whatever to "cure" my anxiety. Turns out the cure was already inside me - but i needed help learning how to do the proper work. A combination of diet, exercise, meditation/mindfulness, sleep, and even a couple of different med trials have allowed me to very much reduce/remove the highs and lows of anxiety. I still have it but I acknowledge it and live with it pretty comfortably.

Hope you continue to progress, and don't be afraid to share here. There are mental health subforums here too, i do a fair bit of reading/occasional posting over in the anxiety room myself.
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Old 10-01-2018, 09:46 AM
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Steve, I'm sorry you're struggling and I'm really sorry that people are maligning you. I hope that you can disconnect from them, hold your head up high and move on. I agree that yoga and meditation can help, and journaling can also be a useful tool.
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Old 10-01-2018, 11:00 AM
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I find that journaling on paper in longhand unlocks stuff in my brain.
In a weird but good way.
Physical exercise helps me too, but I think you have that covered, Steve?
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Old 10-02-2018, 06:53 AM
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Thanks for the replies. Today is going a bit better. I'm gonna try to get a run in after work before the rain comes. I was doing really well for several months in blocking out negative/know-it-all people. I think I simply let my guard down for a few days and left them get to me.
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Old 10-02-2018, 09:27 AM
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Originally Posted by steve-in-kville View Post
Thanks for the replies. Today is going a bit better. I'm gonna try to get a run in after work before the rain comes. I was doing really well for several months in blocking out negative/know-it-all people. I think I simply let my guard down for a few days and left them get to me.
I'm happy you are sharing this struggle with us.

You have gotten some great advice on this thread.

These days, I'm choosy about whom I spend time with.

I stick with people who view life through largely the same prism that I do.

That can be tough in a workplace environment, but it's what I try to do.

I also try to pray for them and forgive them.
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Old 10-02-2018, 08:06 PM
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Steve I'm really not that good at giving advice so pardon me if I get this wrong.
Instead of focusing on negative people how about focusing on negative alcohol.
Alcoholism is your problem now. It's part of who you are. People and their actions and opinions are meaningless for the most part. The alcoholism wants to kill you Steve. Are the negative people in your life trying to do that?
The disease will rob you of everything. Then you die off. People for the most part will leave you alone when you leave them alone. Alcoholism never stops. It's here to stay. It's working 24/7 to kill you and your worried about negative people? Help me understand this Steve. I'm confused. Do you get my point?
Set your priorities Steve. Attack what is attacking you. It's alcoholism Steve. Focus on your sobriety, the negative people in your life will go away. That's how it worked for me. I hope this helps. I don't want you to struggle anymore, just succeed against this disease known as alcoholism.
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Old 10-02-2018, 09:27 PM
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Sorry to hear about your struggles Steve. I was diagnosed for depression a long time ago but after a few years I decided to go medicine-free because I felt the side effects were way too much for me to handle. At that time I was drinking but I didn't drink and take meds at the same time. Now that I'm sober I've noticed meditation helps once you get the hang of it.

I know bipolar is a different thing and none of us knows if your diagnosis is correct, but meditation might help you as well. At least it has helped me with acceptance. As long as I fought my addiction, I'd lose sooner and later. Then I just learned to accept it. It is what it is, I cannot drink in moderation and that's it.

And it's the same thing with my depression. I've accepted being depressed and anxious. Funnily enough this kind of acceptance helps me stay active. Some days are worse than others but most of the time I'm fully functional and that's a lot for me after having been an alcoholic wreck.
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