crispychipper

I thought this would get better after one week.

Background - Binge drinking an average of 10 ounces of straight whiskey all in one swallow on an empty stomach every day after work for over a year. I just wanted to get it all done at once and then not have to drink anymore each day. Many times I would go back a few minutes later and swallow a few ounces more. Always straight from the bottle.

After dinner, no more drinking. Next day, felt fine enough to make it through another work day, go home and do it all again. On my days off I would start again before noon, but always stop after dinner.

Now I'm very anxious and scared. Doc gave me Libruim and ordered blood tests and an MRI or CT scan (forget which one) in a couple days.
Until then all I can think about is stomach cancer or a blown out pancreas or liver or all three.

My stomach feels like it is rotted out and it is rumbling when it is empty. I can eat. I have not yet thrown up. My eyes are not yellow and I am not overweight, bloated, or visibly sick. But it hurts. And I'm scared. I'm done drinking. I just hope I don't die from the usual horrible things that kill alcoholics. Mostly I feel bad about letting my wife down if things turn worse.

My basic question is - has anybody drank like I did and had these kinds of symptoms and got better. I don't have anybody to talk to. I've been to three meetings in three days, but after the meeting is over I just go home and worry.

WaterOx

Hey congratulations on 10 days. That's some of the hardest work right there.

I never drank exactly like you but I used to have a lot of liver pain even a few weeks after I quit. I was so frightened I'd done myself in but all the bloodwork and scans came back fine. The pain went away sooner than later.

Quitting alcohol initially brings a lot of anxiety and I can imagine you're feeling that right now. You're doing all the right things: going to the doctor, ordering tests, reaching out for help.

Hang in there. I know that anxious feeling. In fact I thank you for reminding me of it, as sometimes I forget how it was- and it was terrible.

D122y

Crisp,

As long as I don't drink I get better.

If I relapse, I get worse.

Ingesting a brain altering neuro toxin is not good for us. I don't care what the Jack Daniels Inc. Etc etc etc say otherwise.....I will never ever believe the hype.

It takes years of sobriety to normalize...the whole time and forevermore we get to crave.

I must remain healthy and pure through discipline. I happily begin the last chapters of the rest of my life as a born again non drinker...and very proud and grateful.

God, through SR, save my miserable soul from a horrible ending.

Amen.

Thanks.

crispychipper

Thanks for the replies and encouragement. It's about all I have to go on right now.

JK130

It's terrific that you're getting medical care, and I hope all is well. It took me much, much more than "days" to feel even a bit better and maybe that's true for you too. Don't give up and your mind and body will thank you :-) Welcome to SR!

BullDog777

Yup...I called it breakfast.

I drank like that and a whole lot more. I also did it for more than 25 years.

The last 3-4 years of my drinking, I was between 1.5-2 liters of whiskey or gin in a day and sometimes up to 10-12 beers on top of it.

I'm not a doctor and I'm not trying to give advise, but what you're describing is common.

In the end when I got sober, I had damaged my heart, liver, pancreas, and kidneys and given myself diabetes.

2.5 years later, all my blood tests are normal.

You didn't get sick over night...your body will take months and months to heal.

What worries me more is you getting good news and taking that as a sign that it's OK to keep doing what it is you're doing.

I can tell you where that leads you.

Use this as a wake up call, and get plugged into recovery. It'll change your life. Seriously...this was the absolute best thing I've ever done for myself.

August252015

Glad you are here and great job on ten days.

I too was hardcore especially by the end of my drinking days. I had a lot of damage to heal from, physically and otherwise. Seeing doctors is scary but I am so glad you ar doing it like I did.

Staying sober was the only way I could get through the kind of struggles and worry you are feeling. I had to keep reminding myself that being sober was the only way I had a chance to face and deal with whatever my physical (and other) problems were.

Keep going and take care of yourself. It can get so much better.

FBL

You did the right thing by going to the doctor. All you can do now is wait for the results and try not to worry. Odds are it's not what you think. That said, if you do get a clean bill of health, the AV (addictive voice) may start whispering in your ear that's okay to drink again. Don't listen to that voice. Get a solid recovery plan in place and work it like your life depended on it, because it does!

Awake61

During the last couple of years of my drinking, I loved swilling straight vodka from the bottle first thing in the morning. In fact every time I drank throughout the day, it was always straight from the bottle. 30 years of heavy drinking altogether. I won't go into all the things I lost and screwed up. Well, I'm a little over a month clean. Went to the doctors, had all the tests. They all came back stable/OK. I am filled with gratitude and now want to spend my remaining years really being there for my loved ones. Please stay the course.

LunaBlue

I have experienced those stomach pains and it ended up being alcoholic gastritis. Essentially I had rotted away a lot of the protective lining of my stomach. It got better with the care of my doctor and some medication to help heal it. And by not drinking of course!

You are doing great! Keep it up, it WILL get better if you don’t pick up!

waynetheking

Your healing from the poison will eventually improve. Just don't drink again.
You doing ok today?

SoberCAH

Glad you are getting sober.

Toward the latter part of my drinking, my internals hurt every time I took a swallow.

I got the impression that something very injurious was going on inside me.

Keep us posted and please don't drink anymore.

I hope that you choose and follow a plan of recovery instead of trying to do it on your own.

crispychipper

Thanks for asking. The stomach pain is veeeeerry slowly receding. Trying to find some way to trick, I mean, ask my wife to attend the noon meeting with me. She has never been to a meeting and knows absolutely nothing about AA. I first attended twelve years ago and she knew about it, just never went to one. Also, she does not drink, but she asks me about what goes on in the meetings.

joandmelandhan

In my experience there was a period in early sobriety where I convinced myself I had done irreparable damage and I was utterly paranoid about every twinge. I'm not belittling your pain but please be assured that health anxiety is very normal and every day away from the bottle is a day closer to the peace and future you dream of. I'm most impressed you've been so brave and gone to the doctors. I couldn't go until I had 100 days behind me (just couldn't face any bad news). No matter what your tests uncover the human body (particularly the liver) is a miraculous thing and as long as you stay true to your sobriety you can face anything and heal physically and mentally. Take care and keep posting if you are frightened xxx

D122y

Having a wife that doesn't drink helped me. I was able to copy her as a role model.

Basically, she fiddles around w stuff when home and then has high quality experiences when out because she has a normal energy level and dopamine production.

Stabilizing that dopamine take years. Mine is pretty good these days. Some folks probably consider that the miracle that happens when getting sober.

It took a while and that whole time I was pretty grumpy....depressed.

Thanks.

crispychipper

Thanks, I just returned from a CT scan. Last week I was convinced that I had liver/stomach/pancreas cancer and would probably be dead in a few months. Anxiety off the charts. Today, the pain is not completely gone, but it is slightly less.

Thankfully, my doctor gave me Librium, which I had never heard of before, and it has helped. He gave me a strong stomach acid PPI which seems to be helping. Appetite is returning. I'm still paranoid about internal organ damage/failure, but I'm just going to roll with it until the doctor tells me the results in a couple days.

If karma is real, then I deserve little more than a pine box for my stupidity. I have a lot of shame and embarrassment for my selfish drinking ways.

I've always been a secretive daily binge drinker. Never drank outside of the house, and never drove after drinking, but still, I am piece of dung for what I've done. I don't deserve forgiveness, pity, or understanding, just scorn and rejection. My wife is truly a saint, and if there is such a thing a heaven she will wear a magnificent crown up there one day.

Anyway, I'm feeling just a little better and hoping for a better future.
I never missed work, and nobody would have suspected what I've been through. Thanks to everybody here for giving me a place to vent and provide a glimmer of hope.

crispychipper

I'm pretty good and keeping my personal feelings hidden and presenting an outward appearance of competence and professionalism. Everybody looks up to me at work and I go out of my way to help the downtrodden, but I work in a very toxic place that is run by nepotism, bullying, criminality, and abuse. Twenty years of that crap was my excuse to numb myself to the rampant injustice that rules the job. Enough whining for now. Time to move forward. Thanks again to you and everybody here for the encouragement.

Maudcat

I had gastric issues that resolved when I stopped drinking.
Took a couple of weeks, but it did happen.
Congrats on your sober time.
Hope the doc finds nothing serious, and I’m glad you are feeling a bit better.

Dee74

I drank hard for 20 years and all day everyday for the last 5...my stomach was a mess and took a little while to recover....it did tho - months rather than weeks but not too long.

over 10 years on, not drinking or smoking - and replacing my 40 yo fridge - has left me with no gastric problems to speak of

D

Talkinandwalkin

A good home ailment for my stomach was/is beef jerky and mineral water. I don't understand it myself.