Alcoholic before anything else
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 732
Alcoholic before anything else
Hi guys, I've not posted for a while because I've been doing pretty well.
I've just woken up in tears and I have nobody else to talk to so I hope you don't mind me sharing this.
About six weeks ago my partner did something bad to me, I won't go into it but the police were involved and the follow up is there for me etc.
Anyway it led to a massive vodka binge and I got out of hospital after a small detox last week.
What I found and keep finding is that everyone asks about the alcohol first before anything else. I was sober when it happened - even my family asked about it.
I feel like because I'm an alcoholic nothing I say is valid and I have to fight for my truth all the time.
I've just woken up in tears and I have nobody else to talk to so I hope you don't mind me sharing this.
About six weeks ago my partner did something bad to me, I won't go into it but the police were involved and the follow up is there for me etc.
Anyway it led to a massive vodka binge and I got out of hospital after a small detox last week.
What I found and keep finding is that everyone asks about the alcohol first before anything else. I was sober when it happened - even my family asked about it.
I feel like because I'm an alcoholic nothing I say is valid and I have to fight for my truth all the time.
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Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,027
People are frustrating. They don't always know what to say or the right things to say. The important thing is staying on your side of the street. How will you react to life and to what happens to you? do you stay with someone who does bad things to you or your family? Do you drink when bad things happen to you, even if you can't control your drinking?
What that person said or what this person did to me isn't the issue: the issue is how will I empower myself to respond to life in a way that helps me, and also helps my family?
If you need to leave an abusive situation, you leave. I know there are financial and familial concerns, often. But those concerns aren't there if you aren't there. Protect yourself. don't let people hurt you. And don't hurt yourself as a way to respond to it all: alcohol takes away every last shred of our power.
What that person said or what this person did to me isn't the issue: the issue is how will I empower myself to respond to life in a way that helps me, and also helps my family?
If you need to leave an abusive situation, you leave. I know there are financial and familial concerns, often. But those concerns aren't there if you aren't there. Protect yourself. don't let people hurt you. And don't hurt yourself as a way to respond to it all: alcohol takes away every last shred of our power.
I'm really sorry Daisy. It is unfair, but I've found my addictive past gets thrown in my face less and less as the years go on.
Without going into details, I'm really glad you involved the police. and that you have help if you need it.
There is help and support here too of course.
D
Without going into details, I'm really glad you involved the police. and that you have help if you need it.
There is help and support here too of course.
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 732
Thank you. He has gone and the police are very involved, I'm safe - there is no way I would stay in that situation don't worry.
I'm attending my group but have also joined a new one that helps teach you not to reach for the bottle when bad things happen. I'm also going to a church group soon which quite frankly scares me more than anything! But I know three people that go and they are the kindest most beautiful people so I figure that if I'm surrounded by people like that it can't hurt. I will see how that goes.
Dee thank you I'm glad you understand the 'being thrown in your face ' thing. That's exactly what I mean. I guess the only way to stop it is to prove myself xx
I'm attending my group but have also joined a new one that helps teach you not to reach for the bottle when bad things happen. I'm also going to a church group soon which quite frankly scares me more than anything! But I know three people that go and they are the kindest most beautiful people so I figure that if I'm surrounded by people like that it can't hurt. I will see how that goes.
Dee thank you I'm glad you understand the 'being thrown in your face ' thing. That's exactly what I mean. I guess the only way to stop it is to prove myself xx
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Glad you shared Daisy. Like Dee said, as time has gone on I have been able to become different than I was as an active alcoholic and that is what people see. It took longer with my family tHan it did with others for that thrown in my face thing to almost entirely go away. I just had to keep staying sober and getting better in every way I can.
Keep going and take good care of you.
Keep going and take good care of you.
My track record of drinking lasted nearly 30 years. People just got used to it. It takes awhile to turn around others perceptions. In the long run, it doesn't really matter what they think anyway. It's how we think of ourselves that counts.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 732
I know it doesn't matter what people think of me but this time I had something very important to tell people and everyone, family, police, hospital staff all seemed to revolve it around alcohol. Maybe I was just being over sensitive about it. Thanks for your replies they are really helping xx
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 732
My now ex said 'nobody will believe you anyway because it's well known alcoholics are liars'. Ugh.
Like Dee said, I WILL NOT let myself be remembered as an alcoholic I am someone better than that, I'm me :-(.
Like Dee said, I WILL NOT let myself be remembered as an alcoholic I am someone better than that, I'm me :-(.
You will definitely be remembered for being you and being sober in the long run daisy. Very glad that you are here today and that you are focusing your efforts on getting and staying sober too, thats very important. I"m sorry to hear about what's happened to you and I'm glad you are getting help.
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