Cow

Ah, thanks Frick

Hello Gumdrops!

I just drive back from cabin today and exhausted and has to get settle. I will say more soon. But yes, of course, I reading every post. Gotta keep tab on what troubles you chuckleheads is up to!

Dropsie

Hey Lady,

You sound good.

Catch us up when you can.

XX

Hawkeye13

Update Saturday

Took a three-hour nap and then went back to bed yesterday so got some 12 hours total sleep in yesterday.
I was very tired and still healing gut inflammation.

I feel terrific today and just took dogs for a walk on the beach by the big lake.
Prepping food for next week and watching the sun glitter on the water outside the back porch.

Still sober and planning to stay that way.

How are you all doing?

entropy1964

Well I sit here in Panera helping my daughter write her college personal essay. She chose the topic, and I paraphrase, describe a challenge in your life that you learned to over come and how that made you stronger.

Oh and guess what the challenge is? Survey says "My Mom's alcoholism". Ahhh the joy of being a total feck up. And I get the dubious honor of helping her write it, well, cause I'm such a good writer. Thanks. And a great alcoholic.

When I look back at the first time I held her, I never, ever thought I'd be sitting here doing this. It boggles the mind. And breaks my heart in two. I actually think my heart is dead. I don't think it feels much of anything anymore.

Oh well. Maybe it'll be a good essay. Good times....

fini

Frick,
I don't know about 'honor', but looking from here there is nothing dubious about the fact that indeed you get to help her with this.
no matter how stressed and stressful, no matter how potentially treacherous this togetherness at this point, you do really GET TO do this with her.
mixed blessing, but blessing nonetheless. view from outside.

Dropsie

Frick,

I would find that so hard, so hard.

Thinking of you,

XX

Gilmer

It will no doubt be very difficult and humbling for you, Frick, but if you can keep swallowing temptations to defensiveness and anger, it could serve to knit you and your daughter very close in working things through.

entropy1964

Thanks you guys! I realize how gratuitous that post was. I knew that would be her topic, I even suggested it and of course totally supported it. I had to be careful not to say stuff like 'you are going to mention that I've been sober right?'....haha, ok I did mention it. And she did write that in her essay. Really the girl has had very few obstacles in her life other than that, rather major, one. So of course. It was definitely bitter sweet. When we were wrapping up a lady came in with her newborn. There were a bunch of little old ladies next to her and all, including me, were googling over the baby. One said to her 'you seem like the perfect mother..' and I said 'oh no I'm the perfect mother' Laugh laugh. They have no idea.

Still amazes me that I could sit there with her, writing this very personal essay, and think of drinking. Of course I did. Not on any serious level, but its what I do. Gotta love it.

Dropsie

So, a bit off topic, but if you want to give yourself a few hours of pleasure, go see Bohemian Rhapsody on a big screen. The biggest you find.

I LOVED it -- dont go to moves and saw it twice and will take my kids.

Ignore any critics -- it is excellent IMO and Freddie is quite simply amazing.

Sit back relax and enjoy. Add Popcorn.

Hawkeye13

Hey folks, how about some more updates around here?

entropy1964

Yeah I heard the movie was great. I was never a big Queen fan when they were popular (too much of a punk, metal, goth girl)....but I grew to love them more recently...well in the last decade.

I will definitely go see it!

No update here. Just livin the dream. haha.

Cow

Sorry Hawk, I unable to communicate right now due to extreme disorientation in the noggin'. Please bear with me.

Hawkeye13

((((((((((Cow)))))))))

Cosima11

I've been concerned about you Cow since you're not posting lately.. Just hope you're alright and will update us when you can.

I'm trudging along. Training is awkward but not nearly as overwhelming as I'd been building it up to be. Casual mentions of booze and happy hour in this environment continue to fascinate me.. not in a tempting way just in a holy sh*t my perception was so skewed sort of way.

Also my childhood friend (he's gay so it's never been "like that") got checked into rehab this weekend. He's the most "severe" alcoholic I've ever personally known and things have taken an even darker turn with his now severe meth use. I truly hope he takes it seriously cause he's also one of the most intelligent people I know and I basically consider him to be family.

Dropsie

Cow,

Sorry about the noggin -- half your noggin is better than my whole one so hope you are on the up tick soon.

Cos -- I am so sorry about your friend -- so tough to not be abe to help.

XX

soberista

I'm still here. Will post in the morning as it's 21.30 here in the UK and bed time for me these days is like....NOW! Love to all. Catch up tomorrow. Xx

entropy1964

Haha. I had to google what time that is....but pretty much by 10pm (22 I guess) I'm out cold. Nothing good ever happens after 10pm. Haha. Maybe some mindless snacking so better to sleep.

Delizadee

soberista

Somewhat later on.....

One thing about addiction is it’s easy to start but difficult to end. You just have to make sure you are ready to stop whatever you are addicted to. It’s only you who can stop it nobody can force you to..

Gilmer

We often look for a substitute interest or pleasure to throw our energy into.

We assume (or at least hope) that that energy will be a form of zeal.

I think maybe replacing an addiction with a new passion only happens to half the recovering addicts.

For the rest of us, our energy must be funneled into intense concentration on quotidian life.

It’s not glamorous, at least not for the foreseeable future.

So we discount the idea entirely.

So often feelings follow action.

I lead a fairly boring life, but I have come to love it.

When I drank, I was such a bored human being that I drank for entertainment, to make each dragging minute go by a little faster.

I didn’t have a passion.

But now, after five years sober (tomorrow), I seem to be able to gen up passion for any number of pursuits.

The dutifulness came before the capacity for enjoyment.