BullDog777

I was driving home from dropping my daughter off for school and I started to think about booze.

Not what I miss, but what I don't miss....that's an incredible 180 degree turn from where my brain was wired a couple of years ago.

I don't miss..

disappointing my wife
being a s#itty father
my parents hating me
my brother hating me
my friends wanting nothing to do with me
having no goals
neglecting bills
neglecting health
blackouts
shaking
seizures
craving
itching
my heart racing
crawling
sweating all the time
depression
nausea
vomiting
no appetite
being tired constantly
no self respect
paranoia
sadness
anger
rage
pity
lying
hopelessness
dying
shame
tremors
body jerks
headaches
losing faith
losing myself

I don't miss any of it. Yet...for so many years this must have been all I wanted because this is everything that came with my addiction.

There's no rationalizing or out thinking this illness. Settling for any of that should ever be ok with anyone.

This is why we fight through the cravings and the horror of early sobriety. Because those things go away the longer you don't drink.

The longer you don't drink, the more work you put into working on yourself, the better things get.

I don't exactly remember when it was, but one day, the fighting through the cravings stopped. The mood swings eased...the peace started to show through and I became a happy person again.

It gets better. Down right awesome at times.

Have a good day fam.

-J

SoberCAH

All of these things spell out "insanity".

I no longer behave as if I have a death wish.

Gabe1980

This is a great post - thank you BullDog!

I'm looking for peace. Believing that peace will come. Your post gives me even more hope, Thank you xx

lessgravity

Beautiful list.

I can completely relate.

What continues to be amazing to me is that life truly just keeps getting better.

SnazzyDresser

It truly is madness, what we do to ourselves with that poison. And then hold onto it for dear life when it's really just sure death! The paradox would be delicious if it weren't so lethal.

NYCDoglvr

Alcoholism isn't a rational disease. Even though I knew I shouldn't drink I did anyway. What worked was AA and learning to not drink one day at a time. Everything else was beyond me, I only knew I could get through the day.

Awake61

wonderful post! Thank you.