Fronting

Hello,
I made it two weeks! I'm not exactly thrilled feeling as far as the fun factor. I am craving it to have a blast so to speak. I just want to drink until I can't think to be honest but I haven't.

My x girlfriend and I officially broke up over text messages! hahah. I'm a little sad about that but we weren't made for each other.

I am wondering where do I go from here. What purpose does my life have being sober. All of the sudden I am almost 50 and still struggle with bordom and loneliness. I think about will I be too boring for a women now to have a good relationship. I think there is some underlying depression that hovers over me like a black cloud. I just don't think man was made to be alone and lonely. Then again man wasn't made to have to stay in a bad relationship either so there's that.

I guess I just stay sober and let my feeling for my x subside and take it day by day right? I'm not sure what else to do really.

I still have a job and making some money so that's a good thing. I just have an overwhelming feeling of loneliness right now that I hope fades with time. I defintly don't want to pick up the bottle again and become an emotional wreck.

SnazzyDresser

Sounds like you're doing pretty good at this point, Fronting. If alcohol was interfering with your life before, hopefully you'll see your way clear to the great life that's possible without it. All the best to you!

Fronting

I trully hope I can look back on this in a few months and realize this is true. I mean I lost several women to my drinking and I suppose my only hope at a lasting relationship will be me starting with sobriety. Otherwise I don't think I have a chance as history speaks for itself.
Thanks

Tynesider22

Congrats on the 2 weeks Fronting. Tomorrow is the start of week 3, keep going!

Fronting

Thanks! Will do.


I'm on my own! It's time to crap or get off the pot as they say.

LastRoll63

Great honest post. im 55 and the simularities are pretty close. Same here break up by text at the lowest point in my life last year. My mistake is I chased , cried , lied ,sniveled lol, poor me pohr me another drink over it. Suggest big time go No Contact for at least 30 days. Most of all stay sober. You will never be good to her or anyone until you learn to love yourself and stay sober. One Day At A Time. God Bless You...

Purpleman

First things first Fronting: get some alcohol free time up, let the rest take care of itself for the time being. Well done on 2 weeks

Fronting

Well my friend I work with her!! lol. I sent her a message before I read your post and I was like, oh snap, I just told her I missed her. And I did lol. I left the door open for her to come back to me. I feel like that's a gentleman thing to do with someone you was intimate with. No bugging though just a door for her to come back if she chose. I think that's a loving thing to do for someone even if you know she may not want to.

But moving past that thank you for your post. Being as I was an alcoholic binge weekend drinker since I was 30 years old this is my biggest battle. I don't want to die from this, alone, with a beer bottle in my memory. Because then as I lay there in pain dying from some related health issue not one of my x women would be there to comfort me at all. It would be the ultimate depressing feeling of death coming and loneliness all wrap up as a present for little ole me. That feeling pulls me like a magnet to it as if I have no control. So it is imperative that I split my relationship with alcohol now and not later.

I'm going to keep on trying and will report back to you all. Thank you for the support all who read this.

Its funny because as I type I feel like I have people around me. Expressing my feeling in an open forum is somehow healing in a sense. I just hope one day I have my head on straight and not affected by mind altering alcohol.

Stay strong all.

Hevyn

2 weeks is wonderful, Fronting.

I know what you mean about the feeling of people around you. That's exactly how I've felt ever since coming here. We are understood & treated with compassion by those who really get it. Congratulations!

waynetheking

Your life will not be boring. Just the opposite. Think about it. In sobriety you have the opportunity to enjoy life. Your not sick all the time. Your not fighting the disease anymore. You have accepted the fact that you can't drink again so therefore your life is free and clear to move forward. That's where the excitement comes in. Your life begins and new challenges awaits you. That's not boring. It's life. Not death and destruction of alcoholism.
Take the risk and trust us. Stop drinking. You will never regret it.

Dee74

Hi fronting - it took me a little while to build a sober life I loved. I 'd forgotten what fun was - for years my fun came from a bottle. Think of hobbies and interests, things you'd like to do.

Try and steer clear of pubs clubs alcohol centered gatherings and drinking buddies, at least for a while.

SoberCAH

I agree with Dee that staying away from the old haunts and playmates is an imperative.

I would also investigate the various programs of recovery and select and follow one.

I certainly wouldn't try to do something this important with no help.

Kid50

can totally relate to your post. Don't think it's possible to hold a proper relationship down if one or both partners are poisoned from alcohol. Soberity first. Everything else Second