Beyond denial?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: North East, USA
Posts: 704
I find the opposite to be true; getting sober was excruciating and staying sober is a great deal easier. Not to say it is easy by any stretch, but life is considerably less complex with alcohol out of power. Plus I don't want to die anymore. Up & up.
All is Change
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,284
Originally Posted by Grymt 
I've learned that people have delicate sensibilities and that the plain truth hurts too much sometimes. That's fine. The habit is to ignore or deny that which is painful. The trouble an alcoholic is in is that the way to ignore the pain is to drown it and to keep on drowning it. That's not a good habit. Not healthy to self or to others. The way out of that is to learn to cope with reality as it is, sober.
It's never hard to stop drinking. Every alcoholic does it at least once a day. The difficulty is to stay stopped. To live with reality as it rises out of the alcohol soaked mind.
What I'm suggesting is that living a moral life, strengthening the focus, concentration, awareness of the mind and learning to not react to and becoming more aware of reality and just observing it equanimously will lead each alcoholic who chooses to do so to that peace of mind and happiness that was previously sought in the bottle.
It's a simple path. It doesn't happen overnight so a measure of faith is necessary. At each step it's possible for anyone to be sure it works because the way to live a moral life is a choice everyone can make without input from anyone else. The way to concentrate the mind is based on awareness of the breath that each individual self reliant person carries with them at all times wherever they may find themselves. As we 'see' reality, both inside and out, through the sense organs, we need to heighten our awareness of that seeing and finally as will be seen by all those who choose to practice it: an equanimous observation of that reality (strengthened by the morality and concentration) results in the change of habit necessary to sustain reality which ultimately is that peace and happiness lies within us all. Simply dare to know that. Become self realised. Independent. Self dependent.
It's never hard to stop drinking. Every alcoholic does it at least once a day. The difficulty is to stay stopped. To live with reality as it rises out of the alcohol soaked mind.
What I'm suggesting is that living a moral life, strengthening the focus, concentration, awareness of the mind and learning to not react to and becoming more aware of reality and just observing it equanimously will lead each alcoholic who chooses to do so to that peace of mind and happiness that was previously sought in the bottle.
It's a simple path. It doesn't happen overnight so a measure of faith is necessary. At each step it's possible for anyone to be sure it works because the way to live a moral life is a choice everyone can make without input from anyone else. The way to concentrate the mind is based on awareness of the breath that each individual self reliant person carries with them at all times wherever they may find themselves. As we 'see' reality, both inside and out, through the sense organs, we need to heighten our awareness of that seeing and finally as will be seen by all those who choose to practice it: an equanimous observation of that reality (strengthened by the morality and concentration) results in the change of habit necessary to sustain reality which ultimately is that peace and happiness lies within us all. Simply dare to know that. Become self realised. Independent. Self dependent.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 732
I agree. My simple version - recognise the physical response to anxiety and slow your breathing down and look around the environment you are in and see that you are safe at that moment. Learn to know what thoughts are irrational and counteract them with positive rational thoughts. Be with kind loving people and you will also be kind and loving and this in turn stops the anger and fear building.
All is Change
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,284
Wonderful.
I do want to reiterate that the technique I'm trying to describe has as a crucial aspect the equanimity with which reality is observed. In this case the breath. Observing the natural breath as it is without trying to deliberately change it. This helps to open one up to becoming aware of reality and all that that entails, good, bad and indifferent without 'judgement' or reaction. This habit helps to let go of cravings (wanting things to be: that are not, wanting things that are: to stay) hate, aversion (wanting things that are, to not be) endlessly wanting reality to be different. Learning to accept reality as it is.
As you say, move into the right environment that will support you helps. Even if you cannot immediately do so you'll find that as you learn to be in the present as it is, moment to moment you start to transform your surroundings. Do all this and be happy, peaceful, liberated.
*ps : equanimity is such an important concept I'll try to explain it:
https://www.etymonline.com/word/equanimity
equanimity (n.)
c. 1600, "fairness, impartiality," from French équanimité, from Latin aequanimitatem (nominative aequanimitas) "evenness of mind, calmness; good-will, kindness," from aequanimis "mild, kind," literally "even-minded," from aequus "even, level" (see equal (adj.)) + animus "mind, spirit" (see animus). Meaning "evenness of temper" in English is from 1610s.
At first you might think: I'm not equanimous ("evenness of temper") however a time comes as you try to observe this unevenly tempered mind that you are not that mind (always) you are in fact the equanimous observer of that 'monkey mind'. Then you fall asleep (again) and the monkey runs wild yet again. Then you come to your senses, literally, and you are again observing. This is how it is when observing the breath. Therefore observe the natural breath, as it is, from moment to moment. Don't try to change it. If the habit is to do so, fine. Just observe that habit at work. Always all is changing, impermanent. Always see that it is not you. Step back from I me mine and calmly observe. In those moments that you are truly equanimous, just observing you will find that the store of old miseries start to peel off, rise and pass away. In time you begin to notice a growing calmness, happiness that is not manufactured, imbibed and you have not understood your way, talked you way or thought your way to there. Rather it is by not doing any of those things that a fundamental law of nature has started to work in you. Be happy.
I do want to reiterate that the technique I'm trying to describe has as a crucial aspect the equanimity with which reality is observed. In this case the breath. Observing the natural breath as it is without trying to deliberately change it. This helps to open one up to becoming aware of reality and all that that entails, good, bad and indifferent without 'judgement' or reaction. This habit helps to let go of cravings (wanting things to be: that are not, wanting things that are: to stay) hate, aversion (wanting things that are, to not be) endlessly wanting reality to be different. Learning to accept reality as it is.
As you say, move into the right environment that will support you helps. Even if you cannot immediately do so you'll find that as you learn to be in the present as it is, moment to moment you start to transform your surroundings. Do all this and be happy, peaceful, liberated.
*ps : equanimity is such an important concept I'll try to explain it:
https://www.etymonline.com/word/equanimity
equanimity (n.)
c. 1600, "fairness, impartiality," from French équanimité, from Latin aequanimitatem (nominative aequanimitas) "evenness of mind, calmness; good-will, kindness," from aequanimis "mild, kind," literally "even-minded," from aequus "even, level" (see equal (adj.)) + animus "mind, spirit" (see animus). Meaning "evenness of temper" in English is from 1610s.
At first you might think: I'm not equanimous ("evenness of temper") however a time comes as you try to observe this unevenly tempered mind that you are not that mind (always) you are in fact the equanimous observer of that 'monkey mind'. Then you fall asleep (again) and the monkey runs wild yet again. Then you come to your senses, literally, and you are again observing. This is how it is when observing the breath. Therefore observe the natural breath, as it is, from moment to moment. Don't try to change it. If the habit is to do so, fine. Just observe that habit at work. Always all is changing, impermanent. Always see that it is not you. Step back from I me mine and calmly observe. In those moments that you are truly equanimous, just observing you will find that the store of old miseries start to peel off, rise and pass away. In time you begin to notice a growing calmness, happiness that is not manufactured, imbibed and you have not understood your way, talked you way or thought your way to there. Rather it is by not doing any of those things that a fundamental law of nature has started to work in you. Be happy.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
