eve123

Full of fear about the fact that I can’t seem to get lasting sobriety. Thought I’d done my rock bottom years ago but no I relapsed over n over. Just maybe I can’t I must be so stupid and insane to think I can. Anxiety and fear and loathing f myself great just what is the point I’m useless

zerominuszero20

Are you single and living alone?

Dee74

Hi Eve

drinking made me feel like I was stupid and useless too - and relapsing when I wanted to be sober just made it all seem that much worse.

I had to take a leap of faith.

I had to believe that my not drinking would take me to a better head space....and it did....but not right away.

The early days are tough - but thats why support helps - either here at SR, or in places like AA, Smart or Life Ring etc.

It takes effort to make change. Its gonna be hard work - but you can do it - and it's worth it

D

plop

Eve123, you can do it. Getting sober is hard because in the beginning there are so many moments when you just know that a drink would make you feel better, and momentarily it probably would, even though it will also lead to more drinking and self loathing. But you need to learn to cope with those moments, otherwise you'll relapse again and again.

But if I could do it, you can do it. Personally I just had to stop fighting my addiction and accept it.

BullDog777

You can choose to get off the elevator to hell any time you want to.

I failed every day for 4 years to get sober.

I don't know what to say really...you said " Just maybe I can’t."

Here's the problem. You can. I think you know you can.

Except that somewhere you think the pain of staying this way is less than the pain of getting sober.

It's just not true.

Early sobriety sucks though. It's messy , scary, jarring, off-putting and several other words i could throw in there.

Wouldn't you like to be one of those people who made it?

Who weathered the storm and just took all the brutal s#itty days for awhile?

I'll tell you what...the self respect I walked away with after I took everything it threw at me early on was priceless. Beyond measure.

You can do that too.

This is gonna sound like a cliche' but it's true...you just do it.

You know what it takes....you know how this works. You know there is light on the other side of early sobriety.

eve123

Thank you again for replying I do want this more than anything and every time I get someware I relapse the same mistakes again. So I also feel all I do here is moan etc and look like a failure but it were I can be honest about how I feel and today I’m very very disappointed and feel like il never get anyware in my recovery

ScottFromWI

It's common to feel frustrated early on in quitting Eve. And you are not the first to feel disappointed, all of us did at one point.

The thing is - you have the power to make this work all inside you already. When we quit drinking we do "feel" all those emotions and issues that we so desparately tried to run away from in a bottle. But they are all still there, just waiting to come back out. Alcohol literally depresses our brain...so when we quit it wakes back up in a sense...and everything is magnified. Bad things feel really bad, good things feel really good. Sometimes we need help to make it through those first few weeks - have you considered getting into a local group or maybe seeing a counselor? It can be really helpful to have someone take you through those tough times.

SoberCAH

Very true comments re early sobriety, BD (it "sucks").

It was certainly challenging for me.

But trust us, Eve, early sobriety is a lot better than late stage alcoholism.

We're really happy you're here with us.

I, too, am afraid of relapse.

Staying sober is still the most important thing I do all day long, and I have been in recovery for a while now.

Please stay with us, get and follow a trusted plan of recovery and keep us posted.

Michael2018

I'm glad I read that. Thank you.

apollo986

You can do it-Keep moving forward and don't look back!