Question on drinking
 

Hello! I divorced my AXH about a month ago. He would binge starting on Friday when he got off work until he passed out Saturday evening, then Sunday was his recovery day. He never missed a day of work which is amazing to me. He could easily drink 20+ beers a day if not more. If he had a day off, he would start that day and last until he woke up on Sunday. Of course, he never wanted to go anywhere on the weekends because then it would mess with his drinking. My question is how did he not drink during the week? How can he overcome those cravings but couldn’t stop the cravings on the weekends? Is it because he knew he would be drinking? Say it was a Monday, did he tell himself I only have 5 days than I can drink? He defiantly was not drinking during the week.

Hard to say Michsm, there are definitely "binge" style drinkers that don't drink every day but have cycles like your ex-husband did. It's also fairly normal for drinking to get progressively worse and creep into the week/workday/etc. It's also possible that he was drinking during the week and you just didn't know - alcoholics are masters of hiding/keeping secrets.

At any rate, the answer to "why" we are alcoholics, whether we drink every day or just on weekends - is not really known. I personally had to simply accept that I could not drink any alcohol at any time in order to get better.

It sounds like you made a good decision to divorce and move on with your life.

It could be that he hadn't quite reached that stage of his alcoholism (drinking during the week), but more likely in my eyes is that it created a sense of anticipation for him. Sometimes alcoholics can play it cool during the week because they can go wide open once the weekend rolls around. Gives them something to really look forward to. (I was like this for a certain stage of my drinking). Plus it probably has the added benefit (in his eyes) of giving the illusion of control. ie; see? I'm not an alcoholic. I don't drink during the week.

I was a weekend warrior for many years. Alcoholism is progressive, so of course I eventually got to drinking one day during the week, then two, then three, then so on. It took nearly 25 years before I got to the daily drinking stage, so maybe he just hadn't progressed that far yet. Or, he was lying.

I just hope one day he gets help, he doesn’t think he has an issue because he has a good job and goes to work everyday. His relationships with his kids (not with me) is a different story. @anna, yes glad I am out of there!

I had this pattern. I overcame the cravings on workdays because I had to. It was desperately difficult but I did it. I had workouts and a career.

I could manage to not drink. It was just that once I started, I could never manage to stop.

@stayingstassy, yes that is exactly him.