Pulaski

I’ve been reading a lot of holiday stories here lately. Mine is very similar to the rest but it helps me to write it down. I’m now over 9 months sober and my annual family holiday was the last ‘landmark’ for me. I’d done Christmas, New Year, parties, weekends away, nights ‘home alone’ and a big holiday with Mrs P. All went well – some easier than others but no drinking. The family holiday was the biggest deal - for me it was completely based around alcohol if I’m being honest. Beers around lunch time ramping up to wine and more through dinner, ending in blackout. Wake up feeling like c%&p wondering who I had offended but too ashamed to ask. Try and find hidden empties and secretly replace stolen booze. Repeat for 7 days. My companions aren’t problem drinkers, just me. Some know about my problem, some don’t.

I’m now on day 7, 7am and sitting alone outside waiting for the sun to rise and thinking what I’m going to do today. The whole day that is, not the fraction where I used to feel well enough to actually do anything and wasn’t drunk. I can’t believe how much better this is than the last 7 or 8 years. I’ll be interrupted soon by my only non-drinking companion who is 5 years old – I’ve now become very popular with everyone 1st thing in the morning!

Although I haven’t been tempted to drink, or even come close, I have felt sad that I can’t enjoy a cold beer with the others and I do miss getting drunk with the group in a lot of ways. But I’ve accepted that part of my life is over now and, overall, things are much, much better sober for me and those around me. I’m still having a good time, laughing, joking, sitting up late talking s&%t, just without all the bad stuff everyone here knows about. Nobody else has noticed really, apart from comments that I seem a lot more relaxed this year.

To anyone worried about their first sober holiday, don’t be. It’s different, but definitely better.

Next stop, one year!

Dee74

congrats on making it through Pulaski

D

Helianthus

Well done on getting through those hols that was a very encouraging post, thanks

ForestFrenzy

Thank you for sharing your honest thoughts and experiences. Holidays and celebrations are real tests to your sobriety early-on, and you've cleared a cornerstone. I will need to clear these once more after almost 4 years of sobriety, then 6 months and now trying again. I'm almost looking forward to being clear-headed and really experiencing holidays the way they're meant to be - meditating on the love and memories and things to be grateful for.

Well done for coming back to the "I miss a cold beer and being able to get drunk with the rest..." with a sensible and frank voice, "Yes, but those days are over now and honestly, this is better." That's more or less my mantra now.

There's a power and pride that comes with being the only sober person in a room, too. Not that it's motivation enough, but it does strengthen my resolve.

Looking forward to hearing you reach a year - very soon!

Pulaski

Thank you ForestFrenzy. I find it helps being honest with myself - my drinking life had plenty good bits as well as all the bad stuff and I've had to give up all of it.

Good luck with your next milestone.