vulcan30

Has anyone noticed something? A lot of conventional material seems to operate from the viewpoint that people who get addicted are simply bad people, naughty children, morally inferior rather than people who're suffering & have turned to substances as a way to cope?

It's true that not all all people who get addicted to substances do so due to using using as a coping mechanism, but it's true that the vast majority do.

For example, when I read stuff about enabling relationships, there's a lot of emphasis on setting boundaries, tough love, setting sanctions & punishments but very little advice on how to get to the root of the problem & of showing understanding or caring. This concerns me. Addictions are often a symptom of a problem; a coping mechanism that got out of control.

It's not just about enabling relationships, for example, if one says they find certain social situations difficult, or they fear they won't cope with life, they're too often accused of being 'in denial' or 'making excuses' rather than being related to and sign-posted to services that could help with the specific difficulty that may have started using alcohol as a crutch for. See what I'm saying? It's this stance that people who get addicted are just being naughty & need to be treated like naughty children which is the wrong approach. I think it's outdated & ineffective.

FBL

I think all of that is slowly, but surely starting to change. I don't think there's nearly as much stigma attached to addiction today as there was in the past.

My life is an open book and that includes my addiction and recovery. Many of us are sharing our stories in the open, for all to see.

kevlarsjal2

I’m not saying it’s the right perspective but I think that viewpoint is best understandable when you count in the fact how much more damage addicts cause compared to someone who has another illness like cancer for example.

There’s just so much collateral damage happening around active addicts or alcoholics, just think about all the accidents caused by drunk or high drivers.

Wholesome

I think it's a lot of collective AV. It's the AV that minimizes and makes excuses for why no one can "cope". It's never the drinking that's the problem, it's our childhoods, our lovers, our jobs, our sense of self worth.... whatever....

You've got to remember that most of these programs were made by addicts.

I drank because I drank. I didn't need a reason. And no one "enabled" me. I would never lay that responsibility on someone else's shoulders. No one could have stopped me - except me.

BlownOne

I can see Vulcans point as well as kevlarsjal's. It's a complex issue with no easy answers. Personally, I wish there was more research and emphasis on the demand rather than the supply (in the case of drugs). It seems to be a malady of the modern world, looking for an escape from pain or unease. I'm no expert. I know it's a much deeper issue than I can grasp.

ru12

I think society reacts punatively because of the havoc that addicts often cause in society. From drunk driving, domestic violence, bar fights, public nuisance, overdosing, etc. the effects of addiction are costly for society.

Also I think it is hard to understand why addicts just don’t stop. Lots of bad behaviors can be eliminated once the consequences become greater than the pleasure. Why no just stop drugging? Further, drugs affect your rational mind. It is very easy for me to simply not take the first drink. My mind is different when I begin to feel a buzz. And at that point I cannot guarantee What will happen onceI start. So I protect society from me by never taking that first drink.

So I think society needs to protect itself from the behaviors that the addicted often commit. And punishment is a simple and available solution. But it often just makes the problem worse.

JeffreyAK

I'm not sure what you mean by a punitive approach to addiction, but while many addictive drugs (heroin, cocaine, weed in most places) are illegal and so is their possession and use, what I see instead is a (logical) punitive approach to behaviors and actions that result from addiction. Drive drunk, go to jail and get massive fines; beat your spouse, go to jail; burglarize a home for drug money, go to jail; stop doing your job and keep missing work, or fail a drug test, get fired. Etc. I think most all of the consequences and penalties associated with addiction result from the behaviors and not the addiction itself.

Tobacco, for example, is legal and addictive, but doesn't generally cause socially unacceptable behaviors. So it is treated very differently from alcohol addiction, never mind heroin or coke addiction, and at one time being a regular smoker (= nicotine addict) was socially acceptable and even encouraged.

Ghostlight1

I didn't start drinking to cope with anything. I did it because I liked the way it made me feel. I take full responsibility for that.
As stated, do certain things while drunk and, yes, it's punitive.
It wasn't punitive, however, for me to sit at home and drink myself to death.

Illegal drug possession should be punished, it's against the law.
I guess I really don't see your point. Break the law and you go to jail whether it was drug or alcohol related or not.
That's the society we live in.

BullDog777

I think nowadays it's more punitive because in the eyes of the law, they think people should know better. The issue, I think, has more to do with the behavior exhibited by the addict than by the means in which they use to numb themselves.

It's not like it was 80 years ago when learning about the dangers of addiction often resulted from being waist deep in it already. Be it after a night in jail or getting taken to the hospital after a nervous breakdown or having a seizure after several months of heavy drinking.

Now, you have commercials everywhere. TV shows like intervention and places like this that exist that can educate the public.

We are in the information age. Where when we know better, society as a whole expects us to do better. Because of this, I think there is very little sympathy left for those who cause anyone any harm.

There are so many different ways to get help with our addiction. In my opinion, being reckless with anyone but ourselves is inviting trouble any way you look at it. If behavior had nothing to do with it, I don't think people would care enough to label us as they do.

PhoenixJ

People in addiction are often judged on their behavior, not the severity of their illness.

ScottFromWI

I have found that the less I pay attention to what "society" thinks, the better off I am. Same thing for "the media". I can choose to make my own decisions that are best for me and my family, and what society things about it is utterly irrelevant.

I have also found that it's very easy to overthink this whole thing Vulcan. You've been coming here for quite some time and most of your posts question the "why" of our addiction. I found the the best solution for me was to accept that why doesn't matter. What I was really looking for all those years was an answer to "why" so I could fix it and return to being a normal drinker.

Dee74

No one could be more punitive than I was to myself as a drinker.

In recovery I've found that the people who matter - friends and loved ones - are overwhelmingly positive towards me and my efforts to stay sober.

D

Stayingsassy

Often, it hurts, punishes, maims and kills others as well as the addict.

From the dui to vehicular manslaughter to domestic abuse to barfights to suicide and homicide, alcohol has been a detonating bomb of sorts to loved ones and strangers alike for thousands of years.

The addict is seen not just as an object of pity but also a weapon.

It's no wonder.

Hawking22

Unfortunately, there is a huge amount of stigma still surrounding addiction. It can be chalked up to a general lack of education as well as the leftovers and aftermath of the destruction we leave in our path when we're using. It's seen as weakness, not as a disease. A relinquishment of control that we choose to engage in. Like anyone would knowingly seek this misery...

It's interesting because I've often felt in the past like "oh no, I'm one of them..." and now that I've been surrounded by fellow alcoholic and addicts for over two and a half years, I've come to realize what incredible people we are. I feel we are the ones with the most heart, the most cavernous souls and the ones who who truly feel the depth of compassion and suffer consequently. It's made me feel sorry for the people that don't get us, because they are the ones that maybe truly suffer. In recovery, we get to walk a journey of spiritual and self discovery and mastery that many don't ever get to experience. I don't want to seem self-righteous or I'm on a high horse whatsoever, but I do believe there is a shift happening and one day, it won't be the stigma that it is today.

dwtbd

Stigmas like labels can only be 'attached to' , the amorphous blob 'society' can only stick it to something that fits it.

I'm a common teetotaler , I don't 'hide from' a stigma, there's just nothing to attach it to any longer.

Everyone has the potential to render themselves labeless or non-label-able, the only thing that says otherwise is AV .

SoberCAH

I really haven't noticed a social or societal stigma directed at addiction since I've been sober.

I think that society has generally become more educated as to addiction and recovery.

I'm real open about my recovery.

Just my 2 cents on the topic, your mileage may vary.

hopeful4

I am going to jump in from the other side. Let me tell you that I supported my X-husband in every single way. That includes hospitalization, jail, rehab, cheating, you name it. I was his cheerleader. I did every single thing I could do to support him. Then one day, while in marriage counseling, he said it. He admitted to the counselor that he is an addict. Then he said he drinks because he is bored.

Now, keep in mind, this man tortured me financially, emotionally, and damaged our children by doing it all in front of them. I was going down the rabbit hole as well as I was about to have a nervous breakdown. I realized that he does not want to get better, he just wants to continue to drink without even remembering the crap he pulled the very next day. So...the psychologist recommended I do two things. Start taking care of my children first, as they come before anyone else. We brought them in this world, they deserve our best. Number two, take care of myself so that I could function. To do so, I had to draw some hard boundaries and eventually divorced.

I don't regret anything. I stayed for almost 20 years of this. Had he wanted help, I would have stayed with him. However, all he wanted to do is lie. That is not due to an addiction, it's due to crappy choices.

I am saying this b/c I think there is not much focus on the families of addicts, especially the children and what it does to THEM.

I support anyone and everyone who wants help. However, I cannot make anyone want to get help or follow through, that has to come from your own self, no matter your issue.