I have returned
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: London
Posts: 11
I have returned
I suppose I must have hit the fabled rock bottom. At least I hope so!
I've finally come out and admitted to being an alcoholic to my wife and family. I can't believe my wife hadn't noticed during all these years although maybe I'm just really good at hiding things because I've also just admitted to an affair I had years ago which she had no idea about. Obviously I've felt immense guilt about that for years and I thought getting it all out there might spur me on to finally kick the drinking. To be honest though, right now it's just making me want to drink because I want to hide from the world because of the shame of it all.
I suppose I was averaging about 2 bottles of wine a day give or take and although I would take a few days off here and there they were few and far between. This was going on for about 10 years. Got an appointment to have my blood tested etc tomorrow and I'm pretty anxious about the results.
It's fair to say I haven't made a proper decision for myself in about 10 years. I just drank over everything and passed the responsibility on to her. I suppose even though these revelations may ruin my marriage and leave my life in tatters I'd just like to regain the desire and ability to make decisions for myself even though they could be bad ones.
I've finally come out and admitted to being an alcoholic to my wife and family. I can't believe my wife hadn't noticed during all these years although maybe I'm just really good at hiding things because I've also just admitted to an affair I had years ago which she had no idea about. Obviously I've felt immense guilt about that for years and I thought getting it all out there might spur me on to finally kick the drinking. To be honest though, right now it's just making me want to drink because I want to hide from the world because of the shame of it all.
I suppose I was averaging about 2 bottles of wine a day give or take and although I would take a few days off here and there they were few and far between. This was going on for about 10 years. Got an appointment to have my blood tested etc tomorrow and I'm pretty anxious about the results.
It's fair to say I haven't made a proper decision for myself in about 10 years. I just drank over everything and passed the responsibility on to her. I suppose even though these revelations may ruin my marriage and leave my life in tatters I'd just like to regain the desire and ability to make decisions for myself even though they could be bad ones.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,501
I'm glad you're back.
Don't let the shame and guilt lead you back to drinking. That's what the disease will try to do. Make a choice to move on and work on being the best person you can be.
Don't let the shame and guilt lead you back to drinking. That's what the disease will try to do. Make a choice to move on and work on being the best person you can be.
not a greeter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: padmasana
Posts: 13,927
Welcome back 
. Your admissions to your wife must have been difficult, I hope it helps you move forward with your recovery. I hope she finds a way to heal from that. Good luck with your blood work.
. Your admissions to your wife must have been difficult, I hope it helps you move forward with your recovery. I hope she finds a way to heal from that. Good luck with your blood work.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,027
I hope your wife is ok. what a thing to hear...but I do believe the lies weigh us down and coming clean is best for you and ultimately for her.
Give her all the space she needs to process it and answer all the questions she needs to ask.
Stay sober and own up, and you can be free. It may not be the life you expected for yourself but you will no longer be in chains.
Give her all the space she needs to process it and answer all the questions she needs to ask.
Stay sober and own up, and you can be free. It may not be the life you expected for yourself but you will no longer be in chains.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Melbourne Australia.
Posts: 3,748
Originally Posted by LonelySausages 
I suppose I must have hit the fabled rock bottom. At least I hope so!
I've finally come out and admitted to being an alcoholic to my wife and family. I can't believe my wife hadn't noticed during all these years although maybe I'm just really good at hiding things because I've also just admitted to an affair I had years ago which she had no idea about. Obviously I've felt immense guilt about that for years and I thought getting it all out there might spur me on to finally kick the drinking. To be honest though, right now it's just making me want to drink because I want to hide from the world because of the shame of it all
I suppose I was averaging about 2 bottles of wine a day give or take and although I would take a few days off here and there they were few and far between. This was going on for about 10 years. Got an appointment to have my blood tested etc tomorrow and I'm pretty anxious about the results.
It's fair to say I haven't made a proper decision for myself in about 10 years. I just drank over everything and passed the responsibility on to her. I suppose even though these revelations may ruin my marriage and leave my life in tatters I'd just like to regain the desire and ability to make decisions for myself even though they could be bad ones.
I've finally come out and admitted to being an alcoholic to my wife and family. I can't believe my wife hadn't noticed during all these years although maybe I'm just really good at hiding things because I've also just admitted to an affair I had years ago which she had no idea about. Obviously I've felt immense guilt about that for years and I thought getting it all out there might spur me on to finally kick the drinking. To be honest though, right now it's just making me want to drink because I want to hide from the world because of the shame of it all
I suppose I was averaging about 2 bottles of wine a day give or take and although I would take a few days off here and there they were few and far between. This was going on for about 10 years. Got an appointment to have my blood tested etc tomorrow and I'm pretty anxious about the results.
It's fair to say I haven't made a proper decision for myself in about 10 years. I just drank over everything and passed the responsibility on to her. I suppose even though these revelations may ruin my marriage and leave my life in tatters I'd just like to regain the desire and ability to make decisions for myself even though they could be bad ones.
A very wise decision, given your history.
Stick with it and start to live again.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,027
Interesting, just wanted to add that at the very beginning of my sobriety, my marriage was teetering on the balance: he wanted out and I told him go if you need to go, but I'm getting sober. I knew that day I would stay sober.
and for the exact same reason you're getting sober: to clear up my head, to be alert and able to run my life with some dignity and common sense: whether I ended up married or not.
and for the exact same reason you're getting sober: to clear up my head, to be alert and able to run my life with some dignity and common sense: whether I ended up married or not.
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