Intothebluesky

Does anyone here have trouble with their rage response? It still goes on in me after 8yrs sober. If i find myself in a potentially threatening situation my mind goes to rage although my body doesn't carry it out. I feel like it is a side effect of negative experiences and also maybe common in addiction. Thanks.

Gottalife

I've had it bowl me a couple of times in the first five years. Came out of nowhere as I was not, even in my drinking, a particularly angry person.

One big occasion could have cost me my job. I was just being promoted when my boss challenged my expense claim. I hit the roof and stormed out. Justabout blew him out of his chair. He had never seen anyone behave like that. I walked off to another office and though "Now what?" I went straight back and apoligised and he was very understanding. No harm done.

I thought about the whys later. There were two both centred in selfishness and dishonesty . The first was there was something else going on in my life that should not have been. I had just betrayed a friend, so I wasn't feeling good about that. The second was ---- that he was abolutely right, I had been caught claiming things I should not have been claiming. My behavior was off beam, I was in the wrong and I had to admit it and clean it up.

The second spell came after I gave up smoking. I didn't connect it at the time but I went through about three years fo hell. I was so angry and easily set off. I went to my doctor, telling him I was worried that I would end up in court over the way I was speaking to my employees at that time. He thought it was depression, I thought dry drunk. Strangely it cleared up when I became more active in AA.

Looking back I now believe that the anger must have been there all along and smoking was my way of dealing with it. Whenever I got a little stressed I would go and have a puff to calm me down. When I stopped smoking I lost that solution, so it all came out. By engaging more fully in the AA way of life I was able to have this problem removed just like the drink problem.I think the biggest part of the solution is getting out of self.

MindfulMan

I was easily triggered into rage from about 9 weeks into sobriety for a few months. It gradually faded, and may have been due to under treated hypomania. It continues to improve. My therapist and I call it "angry guy." Angry Guy gets mad when "people get away with sh*t" and thinks he should stop unfairness all by himself. He's a real pain to be around. Fortunately I'm channeling his energy into more fruitful pursuits.

Dee74

I was really angry as a drinker and in early recovery but I seemed to mellow about 3 months in...I'm not beatific now lol but I'm fairly serene.

8 years is a long time to carry around rage even if it's never exhibited - have you considered counselling at all intothebluesky?

D

NYCDoglvr

I think most recovering alcoholics have a problem with anger and resentment. The 12 Steps helped a great deal, especially steps 4 & 5. If I get angry now I first ask myself: "what's my part in this?" Invariably it's a character defect like intolerance, having expectations or fear.

nez

Increasing my mindfulness has helped me to coexist with me. The insight I gain leads to more serenity between me, my emotions, and the world.

Intothebluesky

Thanks. Yeah i am in counseling for all the struggles related to the ism of alcoholism. Anger and rage has improved and i don't act out on it. In my mind it still goes on. Wanting to get in physical fights with other guys in the program if they **** me off. I just walk away though. Still the reaction persists.

tomsteve

Does anyone here have trouble with their rage response?

only if i let myself slide far enough to get into a rage.
i dont just end up in a rage,which the BB calls a brainstorm( funny how when i first read that i thought,"wth- i cant come up with bright ideas any more???")
it always startes with frustration. left untreated it turns into anger. left untreated it goes to rage.
by the grace of God, i havent been beyond that, which is drunk.

the sooner i catch it the easier it is to fix.

typically frustration occurs when things dont go my way. i stop playing God and no more frustration.

PeacefulWater12

I was a very angry, raging drunk. Once I quit, it very slowly faded away especially as I worked my program and admitted and therefore offloaded my previous bad behaviours and made amends as appropriate.

Suddenly the world didnt seem so full of annoying people!!

Now I am very calm and laid back which still surprises me sometimes.

JudicatorPanzer

Yes. I'm ususally a pretty calm guy, but when something sets me off I can blow like a bundle of TNT. I'm giving myself a chance and learning to breathe and let go and live. Meditation is really helpful for me IF I do it in the morning but I have not been keeping up regular practice.

Grymt

I find that if I swallow or suppress my anger, fear or whatever passion it will come back again sometime later. If I act out on it I continually recreate it.

If I accept it is there, saying perhaps "at the moment there is anger in me, my temperature has risen, my breath has deepened" and "let me see how long this lasts", in other words I observe it without reacting, neither suppression nor expression, in time the feeling subsides and further episodes lessen in intensity and duration.

Doug39

I am certainly more tolerant and rational now that I am sober. During my drinking days every little thing set me off; I was so consumed with getting drunk or the hangover I was suffering that I never wanted to be bothered by anything or anyone - I was self centered and living in my own head.

Today with a sober mind I can calm myself and think before I react.