SoberCAH

I chose to give up all of my true "drinking buddies".

I also had to step away from relationships with some very nice couples who were not drunks by a long shot, because get-togethers with them always involved alcohol.

I had to make life and death choices.

Like Anna, new friends appeared seemingly out of nowhere.

These days, a fair amount of my friends drink, but most of them are very light drinkers - not the type PTF describes in her OP.

By the way, PTF, you may feel lost, but I think you're right where you need to be.

No longer being a part of what Bill Wilson called the "hilarious life" is a good thing, not a bad one.

Pathwaytofree

I think that's a wise choice for us all. I guess I have to stop listening to the lie in my head that says I'm missing out. Because I know it's a lie. I'm happy to be away from that.

Same here. Enough is enough.

That's a good way of putting it.

I really hope this will happen for me someday.

I have one friend who is a 1-glass-of-wine-with-dinner type. That's fine with me because she doesn't focus on needing alcohol with every social event.

Quote:

By the way, PTF, you may feel lost, but I think you're right where you need to be.

Thank you. I seriously needed to hear this.

I couldn't agree more. Thank you for the reminder.

NYCDoglvr

For me getting sober was definitely growing up.......taking responsibility for me words and actions, getting whatever help I needed (a good shrink and AA).

Pathwaytofree

Well said, NYCDoglvr. Thank you. I used to always have an excuse for my words/actions until recovery + therapy taught me that they are able to be changed, how to have awareness of them and how to change them.

SoberCAH

Very well put.

I have always thought that a good bit of sobering up is growing up.

August252015

Hey Path- glad you are sharing....I remember my first sponsor saying to me "No." is a complete sentence. Lots of people might consider the amount of time I took to participate in social activities exceedingly conservative- but my litmus test started at life and death and shortly became this question: would going or doing or being with x disturb my emotional sobriety? Meaning would I be upset, have something to bug me after, be mad or resentful or....

Looking back, I am glad that I said no to things that I could see I would have been ok doing- but didn't do bc I didn't want the addd emotional stress. Enough unexpected things have popped up along the way as social challenges that deliberately opting out has never been a regret.

You are very thoughtful- people will be lucky to know the sober Path. Take care.

Pathwaytofree

I love that. Thanks for the reminder.

I admire you for doing that. I need to stop thinking I have to have a certain social life, or else I'm missing out. It's b.s. I need to continue to work on myself, and I don't need a social life getting in the way of that. You bring up an excellent point about emotional sobriety. I have to be more picky about where I agree to spend my time and with whom. This is sobriety after all. Thanks for that reminder, August. :-)

I can see this. We really need to focus on keeping life simple in sobriety, and I think for me that would include keeping a quiet social calendar for my peace of mind.

Thank you for saying that, August! :-)