otter

I'm dealing with some life issues that are really challenging my sobriety. I decided it's time to try counseling before that happens.

Does anyone have any advice on choosing the right one? These guys aren't cheap so I'd like to minimize the shopping around and it's not like there's a review website. At least none that I've been able to locate.

Thanks in advance.

doggonecarl

You might start by identifying those that specialize in the area that is troubling you. My wife suffers from childhood abuse/PTSD, so she sought out someone who specialized in that.

ScottFromWI

Sometimes the clinic that they work at will have short bios about each counselor and what areas they have insterests/specialties in. That's how I found mine, but I would also add that the first one I went to was not a great fit. Fortunately most counselors also realize that it's a very individualized relationship so they will encourage you to move on if it's not working for you.

SpankedbyLife

As obvious as it is, make sure they specialize in alcohol. Last year I made the mistake of just taking a referral and the therapist I went to laughed when I told him how just driving by the liquor store I live behind me made me want to buy alcohol.

otter

Thank you for the advice. It's quiet a bit more complicated than I thought.

After being in IT for years I'm seeing room for an app that matches clients to counselor. All the algorithms are already written from dating sites just have to change the variables.

uncle holmes

I had to seek counseling a few years ago because of some life issues that were happening in my sobriety! I found an excellent counselor through word of mouth. My wife's friend recommended one who really helped their family.

If you don't know of anyone through word of mouth, contact your nearest local hospital and they should be able to give you some recommendations in your local area.

To reduce the costs, I now see mine every 2-4 weeks as needed. This is one way to reduce the cost.

MindfulMan

Let's start a business and sell it to Google for a gazillion dollars!

When I started therapy I had a wish list:

Addiction specialist/in recovery
Male
Gay
Took insurance
Did psychodynamic work

I got all five. He's freakin' brilliant. I've had a string of therapists over the years and none can hold a candle to the work I've done with this guy.

He was a referral from my outpatient rehab therapist.

otter

I found a very promising one after researching online last night. Has over 38 years in the field, lived through and beat alcoholism himself, and his specialties are exactly where I'm seeking help.

I'm going to call him today. Really not sure my body or mind could handle starting from square one again.

Thanks!

Gottalife

I can't think of any life issues that have challenged my sobriety and I have had most come up in the years I have been sober. They have included several bereavements, some vicious family drama, illness, business difficulties, staff problems, confiscation of property rights, relationship break ups, and so on.

They have not challenged my sobriety because they have nothing to do with it. They are not connected in any way so on the two occasions I felt the need for therapeutic help, I went to people with skills in that particular area.

A grief counsellor helped me enormously in dealing with the illness and death of my wife. Similarly I had several expensive sessions with a psychologist examining the possibility of repressed memories. That was one of thse things that everyone else seemed to have, so I thought I better check too. Clean slate and glad to know it.

In the background of course, my alcoholism had already been dealt with and there was an on going program or way of life that has kept it from having any active part in my life. I have not needed or thought of drinking no matter what has happened. That was because I worked the steps and had been following a suggestion that Ebby made to Bill way back when. p14/15

The only reason I could possibly drink again was if the obsession came back, and that would be due to me getting complacent in the extreme. It would have nothing to do with outside circumstances.

Still, I have been in meetings where people think that lifes ups and down are why they drink. So we end up listening to someone bleating on about their divorce, or employment problem, or whatever. If they would only work the steps they would find they can handle all that stuff without thought of a drink, and they can get the specialist help they need, like lawyers, doctors and therapists to help them through . They could meet calamity with serenity, which is what AA sobriety is all about.

So my suggestion is choose a therapist/s with experience in the specific field you are dealing with. Don't expect a grief counsellor to know about alcoholism.

eyes99

AA is basically group therapy and peer led therapy (sponsor/steps). And it has worked for many. It works for me in combination with personal therapy.

I’ve been the one “bleating” in meetings, and I’ve listened to others. Both have been incredibly helpful. Isn’t that why non-BB, non-step meetings exist?

As for how to find a therapist, great advice already. I’d only add that you can do a phone consultation first, and see if you have any chemistry or if the person sounds knowledgeable. And also, keep an open mind about who could be a fit - my best therapist (current one) and I don’t have much personally in common on the surface, but she gets how I think, so it works. Good luck and congratulations on this step!

Gottalife

Yes there was a suggestion in the big book that once a week they have a meeting where newcomers could bring their problems. Though there are no suggestions on how they can be solved as AA is concerned only with the alcohol problem.

If you were to read some of the conference approved literature you might get a better idea of what AA is. It does not, for example, provide professional services like therapy. If it did we would all be locked up for practicing therapy without a license. It does not provide any professional services, like legal, relationship, employment or financial advice. That is not our area of expertise.

Take a look at the pamphlet 'Problems Other Than Alcohol". There Bill W writes " Sobriety, freedom from alcohol, through the teaching and practice of the twelve steps, is the sole purpose of an AA group.

Non big book/non step meetings may be nice and comfortable, but by definition they are not teaching the AA proram. Instead they are teaching you that something out there is what makes you drink, and if you talk about it enough, you'll stay sober. Well, if you fit the description of the real alcoholic n the big book, you may find you have been sold a bill of goods.

As an aside, I have known of some older members who have attempted to provide counselling and therapy without the proper qualifications and for two individuals, one a young mother, it resulted in suicide attempts. People who do that are extremely dangerous.

Get a sponsor, work the steps, have your own spiritual experience which will remove the obsession to drink, take your problems to your sponsor, bring your solutions to the meeting, and if required, make use of all the wonderful therapists and professionals out there for any other problems that go beyond the scope of AA and lay-people.

eyes99

We disagree on definitions but agree on objectives.

Gottalife

That's a good way of putting in eyes99, and I think it could be truer in the field of alcoholism and its treatment than in almost any other area. Definitions are important. We can't solve an undefined problem and if we define it differently, then it is only natural that we will try to resolve it differently.

MindfulMan

There are many therapists that have experience with substance use disorder treatment along with other specialties, particularly those who have also gone through recovery, as mine has.