I relapsed
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 232
That's exactly what I do, but I'm not sure if the not caring or the drinking comes first. I think it's both.
Then I realized I could "not care" sober just as well as I can if I'm drinking. Like, life was pretty empty drunk because it was also pretty empty sober, so not drinking has got to be better than drinking.
Am I talking in riddles or does that make sense?
Sorry you're sad today. That's natural, I think but I'm sorry nonetheless.
O
Then I realized I could "not care" sober just as well as I can if I'm drinking. Like, life was pretty empty drunk because it was also pretty empty sober, so not drinking has got to be better than drinking.
Am I talking in riddles or does that make sense?
Sorry you're sad today. That's natural, I think but I'm sorry nonetheless.
O
I don't wish this upon anybody. And I won't lie but this alcoholism has made progress where all my immediate family knows about it, just last night I got very emotional, my wife's friend was there my kids and there I was buzzed explaining my emotions, I guess I just have skeletons in my closet that I just can't get out(sorry not skeletons but just issues that need explaining), just too personal, but nevertheless they have to get out, nothing criminal of course but they have to get out
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 232
Thank you!
Spoke to my boss, I can't believe they've tolerating this long. I've been taking Soo many leaves of absences due to me being an alcoholic and I'm still there
The issue is that this is an extreme effort. I wish I could drink and just stop, but this won't happen now without being medicated.
Spoke to my boss, I can't believe they've tolerating this long. I've been taking Soo many leaves of absences due to me being an alcoholic and I'm still there
The issue is that this is an extreme effort. I wish I could drink and just stop, but this won't happen now without being medicated.
For me it's work, family life. I'm afraid I will lose everything before I fix anything. I m sick and tired o going on these benders
I don't wish this upon anybody. And I won't lie but this alcoholism has made progress where all my immediate family knows about it, just last night I got very emotional, my wife's friend was there my kids and there I was buzzed explaining my emotions, I guess I just have skeletons in my closet that I just can't get out(sorry not skeletons but just issues that need explaining), just too personal, but nevertheless they have to get out, nothing criminal of course but they have to get out
I don't wish this upon anybody. And I won't lie but this alcoholism has made progress where all my immediate family knows about it, just last night I got very emotional, my wife's friend was there my kids and there I was buzzed explaining my emotions, I guess I just have skeletons in my closet that I just can't get out(sorry not skeletons but just issues that need explaining), just too personal, but nevertheless they have to get out, nothing criminal of course but they have to get out
Try to remember that drinking increases emotional volatility. The addiction doesn't really give a *** about your family or your job, it just wants to make up stupid excuses for you to not be sober.
I've got skeletons, I think a lot of us do. For many years my addiction used them as an excuse to drink - "If you had my problems, you'd drink too." Wrong. You can drink and have demons or you can not drink and have demons. The drinking is a separate matter altogether. If you can find a therapist who specializes in addiction, that could be very helpful. I work with a team - a psychotherapist and a psychiatrist and they have been very helpful.
Another option is to find someone to help you through the steps. (Full disclaimer, I haven't been yet.) I think Step 5 is all about confronting those old issues and learning to let go of the hold they have on us.
Just some Sunday morning ruminating I hope you'll find helpful in some way.
O
ways to get out the things that need to get out:
- a confession/priest/minister
-a therapist
-a peer counselor
-a sponsor/stepwork
- a good listener/friend who will not carry it as their burden
-a journal
-a crisisline volunteer on the phone
-a mental health worker
after the things that need to get out get out, chances are there is work to do. so some of those suggestions above ( not ranked in hierarchical order) are not set up for that; others are.
what are you willing to do?
for me, in the end, doing the stepwork proved to be the perfect avenue for getting the stuff out, cleaning it up and moving forward.
- a confession/priest/minister
-a therapist
-a peer counselor
-a sponsor/stepwork
- a good listener/friend who will not carry it as their burden
-a journal
-a crisisline volunteer on the phone
-a mental health worker
after the things that need to get out get out, chances are there is work to do. so some of those suggestions above ( not ranked in hierarchical order) are not set up for that; others are.
what are you willing to do?
for me, in the end, doing the stepwork proved to be the perfect avenue for getting the stuff out, cleaning it up and moving forward.
I think all of us have relasap. Don't beat yourself up over this. The key is, ACCEPTANCE. Your an alcoholic, so stop drinking. Nothing good will become of it. So try again. Your life depends on it.
Glad your here, that's a miracle as well.
Hang in there and don't drink.
Glad your here, that's a miracle as well.
Hang in there and don't drink.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)