Notices

I relapsed

Old 07-11-2018, 07:10 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
Member
 
fini's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,241
how are you doing today, Mtphc?
fini is offline  
Old 07-11-2018, 08:26 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
No Dogma Please
 
MindfulMan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: SoCal
Posts: 2,562
Originally Posted by Mtphc View Post
Don't know what to do. Thing is once I start I can't stop. That's why I'm here. Hoping to put an end to this.
There is a certain type of alcoholic that has this problem.

It's called every alcoholic.

Keep quitting Mtphc.
MindfulMan is offline  
Old 07-12-2018, 01:57 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
Member
 
NYCDoglvr's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
I personally don't think you can substitute drinking with nothing and succeed. What program are you in? What's your plan?
NYCDoglvr is offline  
Old 07-12-2018, 02:00 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
Community Greeter
 
Hevyn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,416
Been thinking of you, mtphc.
Hevyn is online now  
Old 07-13-2018, 12:28 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 232
Originally Posted by Obladi View Post
That's exactly what I do, but I'm not sure if the not caring or the drinking comes first. I think it's both.

Then I realized I could "not care" sober just as well as I can if I'm drinking. Like, life was pretty empty drunk because it was also pretty empty sober, so not drinking has got to be better than drinking.



Am I talking in riddles or does that make sense?

Sorry you're sad today. That's natural, I think but I'm sorry nonetheless.

O
For me it's work, family life. I'm afraid I will lose everything before I fix anything. I m sick and tired o going on these benders

I don't wish this upon anybody. And I won't lie but this alcoholism has made progress where all my immediate family knows about it, just last night I got very emotional, my wife's friend was there my kids and there I was buzzed explaining my emotions, I guess I just have skeletons in my closet that I just can't get out(sorry not skeletons but just issues that need explaining), just too personal, but nevertheless they have to get out, nothing criminal of course but they have to get out
Mtphc is offline  
Old 07-13-2018, 12:37 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 232
Originally Posted by Hevyn View Post
Been thinking of you, mtphc.
Thank you!

Spoke to my boss, I can't believe they've tolerating this long. I've been taking Soo many leaves of absences due to me being an alcoholic and I'm still there

The issue is that this is an extreme effort. I wish I could drink and just stop, but this won't happen now without being medicated.
Mtphc is offline  
Old 07-13-2018, 02:21 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,027
You can still get out of this madness for good. If I could then anyone can.
Stayingsassy is offline  
Old 07-13-2018, 07:10 PM
  # 28 (permalink)  
Member
 
fini's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,241
what are you willing to do, Mtphc?
fini is offline  
Old 07-15-2018, 06:27 AM
  # 29 (permalink)  
Life Goes On
 
Obladi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
Originally Posted by Mtphc View Post
For me it's work, family life. I'm afraid I will lose everything before I fix anything. I m sick and tired o going on these benders

I don't wish this upon anybody. And I won't lie but this alcoholism has made progress where all my immediate family knows about it, just last night I got very emotional, my wife's friend was there my kids and there I was buzzed explaining my emotions, I guess I just have skeletons in my closet that I just can't get out(sorry not skeletons but just issues that need explaining), just too personal, but nevertheless they have to get out, nothing criminal of course but they have to get out
Mtphc,

Try to remember that drinking increases emotional volatility. The addiction doesn't really give a *** about your family or your job, it just wants to make up stupid excuses for you to not be sober.

I've got skeletons, I think a lot of us do. For many years my addiction used them as an excuse to drink - "If you had my problems, you'd drink too." Wrong. You can drink and have demons or you can not drink and have demons. The drinking is a separate matter altogether. If you can find a therapist who specializes in addiction, that could be very helpful. I work with a team - a psychotherapist and a psychiatrist and they have been very helpful.

Another option is to find someone to help you through the steps. (Full disclaimer, I haven't been yet.) I think Step 5 is all about confronting those old issues and learning to let go of the hold they have on us.

Just some Sunday morning ruminating I hope you'll find helpful in some way.

O
Obladi is offline  
Old 07-15-2018, 06:32 AM
  # 30 (permalink)  
Member
 
Dropsie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 3,163
Great thoughts here.

Are you feeling any better?
Dropsie is offline  
Old 07-15-2018, 01:54 PM
  # 31 (permalink)  
Community Greeter
 
Hevyn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,416
I'm checking in on you too, mtphc.
Hevyn is online now  
Old 07-15-2018, 07:30 PM
  # 32 (permalink)  
Member
 
fini's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,241
ways to get out the things that need to get out:

- a confession/priest/minister
-a therapist
-a peer counselor
-a sponsor/stepwork
- a good listener/friend who will not carry it as their burden
-a journal
-a crisisline volunteer on the phone
-a mental health worker

after the things that need to get out get out, chances are there is work to do. so some of those suggestions above ( not ranked in hierarchical order) are not set up for that; others are.

what are you willing to do?

for me, in the end, doing the stepwork proved to be the perfect avenue for getting the stuff out, cleaning it up and moving forward.
fini is offline  
Old 07-18-2018, 06:37 PM
  # 33 (permalink)  
Member
 
waynetheking's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: fort worth tx
Posts: 1,373
I think all of us have relasap. Don't beat yourself up over this. The key is, ACCEPTANCE. Your an alcoholic, so stop drinking. Nothing good will become of it. So try again. Your life depends on it.
Glad your here, that's a miracle as well.
Hang in there and don't drink.
waynetheking is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:31 PM.