zjw

For the record these cognitive complaints I have have been going on for like 9 years maybe longer. Long before I went vegan or quit booze lol. I honestly think I got too much on my plate maybe the average person can’t handle all that I do much better I highly doubt it. But no doubt some people probably can. Me I gotta get this easier and if it means downsizing my life so be it. I tried to explain this to my wife and she tends to get angry at me I think she thinks I’m making excuses or something and it’s like nah I can only handle so much. I think she wants to keep a certain standard of living and to be honest I doubt I can provide that level for her any more. And I worry right now I’m driving myself bonkers at least trying too.

zjw

In talking to you guys and some others i'm coming to the realization that yeah i basicly need to make time for meditation type activities. when i'm doing best meditation type stuff and running is front and center and the rest revolves around that and i'm able to maintain my sanity. I might be slightly less productiving spending more time doing those things but i'm better mentaly and physically as a result and lately i've just managed to get wrapped up in the stresses of life.

Bimini i woke up today and its a nice day i'm trying to just do like you said and put the tough feelings and stuff to the side and get kinda grounded.

I'm headed to the doc this morning and i'm gonna get checked out for real this time from that accident.

I'm also thinking that i'm gonna have to scream and put the brakes on my life sooner before it becomes problematic like last week. its going to be hard i have company coming into town this week and I'm terrified its gonna get too hectic for me but i'm gonna have to put my foot down and say hey guys you can go off and do whatever but i need some time to rest ok!

LIfe has just been kinda getting away from me moving at a pace too fast for me. and I think its up to me to slow it down some if at all possible so i dont go bonkers!

I feel a little bad that i cant keep a speed and pace others eem to be able to do or think i should be able to do but then many others arent in my shoes either. It is what it is and i'm only one person.

2ndhandrose

Hi zjw

I have been following your threads and what really jumps out at me is the sense of responsibility that you take on for everything, .

I can't even imagine what it is like to parent 6 kids!!!!!

But, you are just one person.

I wonder what it would feel like for you to step away from a few responsibilities, and allow others to take up the slack. You say your wife complains so you step in again.

So what if she complains? We all have to do things we don't like to do.

Maybe you could look at your schedule, see what can be shared and delegated and then hold that boundary.

I'm just spitballing here, but, zjw, in a family your size, one person should not be responsible for EVERYTHING.

These are just my observations, after following your thread. I really feel for you, feeling like the whole world is on your shoulders.

zjw

YeH I’m awful at accepting help too lol. I have gotten better over the years at tuning out her gripes when I take a step back with something. She does a fair amt too and there are times both out heads are spinning but I’ve been the breadwinner all these years and there are just some chores she will never do where as I think I can and do do a little of everything that needs to done.

Sometimes for me it’s like well gee I guess I gotta do this tooo and I just roll up my sleeves and get on it. Before I lost my job I was getting better at letting go some maybe I’m afraid to do that in many ways now since I feel as if I’m not providing for my family monetarily.

On the upside I went for a great run today such a nice day and someone invited me to this meditation thing this week I might give it a whirl. My doc visit went good and I think the little time out of the house alone did my mind some good. I need that kinda time at times to calm the waters. Living in my house is like having 10people screaming in your face dang near 24 hours a day!

Stayingsassy

Yeah I'll tell you, when I get overloaded (too much exercise, too many days at my stressful job, too much demand from family) I KNOW it and I just back down with no regard to anyone! I cut back on work, I try to focus on one family member at a time who needs my help, and I cut way back on crossfit . I sleep more. I do less. I rest more.

It feels good and it helps. sounds like you're moving in the right direction.

zjw

every now and then i take a day off from excercise and sadly one wedsdays latly i'm forced too. but i'm not the same if i dont get my 50-70 miles a week in i just gotta do it its my therapy i love it.

zjw

more and more and more I think about this thread the more i realize I'm proabbly taking on more then i can handle / biting off more then i can chew. Sure part of it was not my fault like that accident well it mighta been *sigh* but you know what i mean crappy things like that happen and are outside of your control. I'm thinking I gotta slow down I hae to try and move along a a pace thats comfortable for me. It took me a long time to get the routine i got that worked for me when i had a job and now thats been like thrown out the window. I now have to come up with some kidna new routine thats gonna work and its really going to be hard to do at the moment since my life is such a mess.

That being said I guess i gotta be extra careful how much i sign up for and what i try to take on. It might limit my earning potential trying to keep things manageable in my life but I need my sanity last week was not good. and I'd liek to avoid that.

On a side note i heard back about the car. oddly only about 6k in damage But what is concerning is the unibody is bent they said they have a machine and might be able to straighten it etc... I dunno much about all this but it would seem to me if the unibody has been comprimised like that simply straightening it while it might make the car drive right and look right it might not be as safe next time around if i was in another accident? Of course there is not a whole lot i can do about this. I'm at the insurance companies mercy etc..

maybe if someone knows more about this kinda thing then me can chime in that might help.

ScottFromWI

Sounds like you are getting a good start on getting back on track ZJW. Regarding the first issue you bring up, you are absolutely right that we can all only do so much. Maybe it could help you to actually make a written schedule for the day/week and assign your time to the things you feel are most important? And if something doesn't fit you just do it another time, delegate it to someone else, or just don't do it at all if it's not super important.

Remember - only you can let yourself become "overwhelmed" - you have the power to manage what you do and when you do it.

Regarding the car, did you call your insurance agent and ask him or her what they thought about the repair? Or if you can have a second opinion from another auto shop? I'm pretty sure they have to have standards to keep cars safe, but might not be a bad idea to get some other opinions from a professional.