Something I have to stop saying
 

I believe I have to stop saying that I'm done drinking indefinitely after recovering from a recent relapse.

I think it's better if I just take things one day at a time. Otherwise I could begin to feel overwhelmed, and could change my outlook and attitude in general, and this is especially true with early recovery. So I think I'm going to stick with the "I just won't drink today" mindset.

Just felt like I had to share this : )

Hi mtphc :)

I think its a little like counting days for me - I figured out eventually it's not the counting days or the Forever mindset that makes me drink - it's my alcoholism..

I got to a point where I had so many days sober the idea of forever was no longer a problem - but whatever works for you not to drink again is good :)

D

In my early days of sobriety, I could not deal with the idea of never drinking again. Forever.
It didn't work in my thick skull. It was overwhelming. It seemed impossible.
So, as I also learned in AA, just don't drink today. I can handle that.
Nine and a half years later I'm still sober. One day at a time. I still use it, you see. It's sort of my mantra.
I can't think of anything that I would do forever. Except drink. And now I can choose not to just for today.
Works for me, and I hope it works for you.

I agree that it's important to not become overwhelmed in early recovery.

But, for me, I had to say 'never' to myself before my mind began to figure out different ways to cope with life. The main thing is to do what works for you. :)

I think taking things in small chunks is a good plan early on Mtphc. After a while quite honestly you won't think about it much at all either way. Not drinking just becomes the norm. Try not to overthink it too much either, I know I did early on.

I had to say never again. anytime I did one day at a time the crack of possibility led to drinking again.

Sadly, I seem to be the same with sugar. I'm still desperately trying to work it in, but it's working about as well as moderating booze did.

anyway I don't propose to have the answer for all. Everyone is different. some people manage to stay sober one day at a time, for me each day id just be planning to drink and keeping the obsession alive.

Yeah this is more for early recovery. I think for me this will work best, after a year I could start looking at things from a different standpoint and say that I'm done with it. Don't want to be negative but it's embarrassing when I say things like "I'm done" and then I have a slip or relapse.

I know I'm getting better at this and honestly after a month I don't really think much about it. And yes it does get a lot better as time goes on where I rarely even think about drinking, but for now one day at a time : )

I find living one day at a time is a comfortable way to live.

Lol..I wish I could do this but I can't, I'm the type of person that's always thinking about the future, and always over thinking stuff.

Thanks, just trying my best, what else could I really do.

Yeah I'm hoping too. It's almost alleviating taking it one day at time. It kind of eliminates that white knuckling effect for me this early in my sobriety.

LOL! Me too, I worked my program and I changed. Part of recovery is learning to live in the present moment.

Seems a pretty common trait with drinkers to overthink and live in the future. You will do fine.

🙂

Yeah I have to work on this.

In general it would a lot easier living my life one day at a time, but at the same time it's difficult taking that approach when you're the one managing all the bills and basically everything that has to do with family life. I'll just have to get better about it : )

The important thing is staying sober. If you're sober and taking productive steps to build a better life, it doesn't even matter what you say. That's just fluff, it's what you do that counts.

i had days that one day at a time was too long so i took it down to one hour at a time.
hours that were too long so down to one minute at a time.
minutes that were too long so down to one second at a time.

well worth doing that,too.

Possibly my first week was like that. It is not part of the AA program, but one day, one hour, one minute even is quite a good strategy for surviving the first few days until the program begins to bite.

Are you done? is a question that should be asked of the newcomer, but perhaps with a bit of explanation. It could mean, are you done with drinking for good, or are you done with your old ideas, are you ready to try it our way? That phrase "We stood at the turning point" Could it mean we are at the point where we will either continue on, or turn away from the old path and get on the new one?

I saw relief from the misery on the new path. I was done with the misery, I was done with "my way" I had been given the gift of desperation and was willing to do anything to get rid of the misery. Stopping drinking seems more like a by-product than anything. It was the result of the action.

That is the key here to stay sober. But every once in a while I like to express tactics that I'm using which in turn is action that I'm taking in order to stay sober : )

In 26 years of recovery I've never said I'll never drink again. After all, how can I know that? I just don't drink today.

I too could not wrap my head around Never Again, so I am still going Just For Today. I post every day on the 24 hour thread, even if to just say I will not drink today. After a year it still helps to keep it green.

It's a really interesting question - should one focus on not drinking one day at a time, or never drinking again.

I kind of think it's both.

I had to work through in my head that I was "done", and accept that under no circumstances would I have a drink - no celebration no matter how huge or momentous, no tragedy no matter how unthinkable or unbearable, no milestone, no stressor - there would not be an occasion ever for the rest of my time on this Earth where I would drink again. And I went through that in my head, and accepted it, and was satisfied I had accepted it.

I had to do that, but I acknowledge not everyone might wish to.

However, life is lived one day at a time so I never worried too far ahead of time what might come up to challenge my sobriety. If something was coming up on the horizon, I make a judgment call about whether to accept it or not - say a social invitation. If I accepted it, I'd acknowledge it was there but I looked forward approximately 1-2 days ahead and planned accordingly.