Done4Ever

It's such a struggle. I have fallen again. Alcohol can make us lose our jobs, our families, our friends, our homes, everything - and yet we fall for it. I am a pretty strong person, but I am powerless against alcohol. I haven't hit rock bottom, I have a good family, home, etc... but, it has caused job loss. And that is a BIG problem. I MUST get help! I know it.

I'm venting because I feel like I am in a bad place right now, I know it will pass, but it is not good. I'm not drinking and am sober, but I want a drink, I feel like it is my only way of coping, and I know it isn't. Why cant they just invent a pill that would make us all better?

Hevyn

Done4Ever - I'm glad you posted your thoughts. It really helps to talk it over here.

I gave myself many do-overs before I got serious. I guess I just longed for when it was fun & relaxing to have a 'a few'. Yet I had proven to myself many times that once it was in my system, I was led into danger & an unpredictable outcome. You're right - it isn't a way to cope. It's a lie. It increases our anxiety & multiplies our troubles. I hope you'll make it past this temptation - there's nothing but misery in that drink.

Done4Ever

It's not a craving right now. It's misery - Alcohol has finally effected my job. I have been so good at hiding this problem, disease, illness, or what ever you want to call it, but for the first time in my life it finally has caused me to lose a job. Never had that happen before, but due to all the bad choices I make when drinking, the company can no longer keep me for risk of their embarrassment. So, now I have to start over, and that is putting me with very low self esteem right now, so it's hard to think about picking myself up. I know alcohol won't make me feel better, and I am not going to touch it today. But, damn if you don't just wish 5 years ago had started making different choices, or even further back.

August252015

I'm sorry to hear you are struggling.

doggonecarl

Alcohol brought you to where you are now. How do you cope? By facing the consequences of your drinking, not drinking over them. You can't undo your mistakes, but you darn sure don't have to repeat them.

Dee74

I had no idea how capable I was until I started looking into other ways to help me cope with life, Done.

Every time I solved a problem or got through something bad sober I got more capable.

It was hard, sure, but so's drinking like we did and trying to keep all those balls in the air.

Sobriety's got to be worth a shot?

Whats your recovery plan look like?
Got any support besides SR?
D

Obladi

All any of us have is now. I understand kicking yourself for past actions, I've done plenty of that and still obsess over some of those things. But the thing is - there's absolutely nothing we can do about those things. They are just part of our stories now. When I look at them neutrally, it helps. Like, "Well that was ***'d up," and then consciously move on to now.

Keep not drinking.
There is no magic pill to cure you but visiting a psychiatrist who specializes in addiction might provide some help.

O

August252015

Like Dee asked - have you thought about a plan? You don't have to white knuckle this and do it - or try- on your own.

Most of us have found that a plan of action is necessary to make recovery happen, not just know it's something we need to do.

Done4Ever

I had a plan, and it obviously failed and then I made the ever existing excuses. I am looking into actually attending some AA meetings. Was always scared of this before. I can't do this alone. This is awful.

Done4Ever

I am just in a area of self pity right now, and I will be here for a while. I have to pick myself up again, and I know it. I think AA is what I need. I am pretty sure I will be dead if I don't go there.

JK130

Yes, you can get sober. You don't have to do day 1 ever again. You have every reason to get on with your life! A new job is an opportunity to start fresh - to work in a place where colleagues only know you as energetic and competent. If you have to take a step or two back professionally, that's allright too. I really understand self-pity...but don't stay there too long. I look forward to hearing about your experiences in AA.

fini

if you go to AA, there is already a suggested plan right there

go and ask someone to help guide you into implementing the suggested plan and you will be well on your way.

Dee74

no need to wait to pick yourself up and move on from the self pity - do it today

D

Gottalife

This is very valuable advice. Lots of people go to AA thinking that all they need to do is attend a few meetings. Then they come away wondering why AA didn't work for them. They were the victim of misinformation. They went to AA alright but they didn't join. They didn't join the program of action for recovery from alcoholism, which is the only solution AA has for the real alcoholic.

My experience was that once I sincerely decided to follow the program and got started, I had no further need to drink.

Stayingsassy

Yep. That's why I don't go back. Even when I feel like I'm in dante's seventh level, it's just not a reason to drink. did you think it would make you feel better? See I'm convinced it will make it worse.

did you think you could control it? I always thought I could when I went back. I couldn't stop binging but I could control the number of days I did it. Still awful!!!! Still worse than not drinking at all!

I'd have my butt in those chairs if I drank again too. Go for it. You'll have support.

Done4Ever

Thanks everyone. It's easier said than done. This low self esteem place I'm in is just dragging me down. It's hard to get any motivation to do anything. The won't drink, but I sure want to.

Done4Ever

And I realize there are consequences for everything. My alcoholism put me in a place where someone else's actions made me look bad, even though I did not instigate. But, because I was drunk, I was there. If I hadn't been drinking I would of never been there. What a train wreck. I would of thought this would be different. I would of thought another DUI or accident would get me in trouble, not someone else.

apollo986

You have to let go of the past and the future and focus on living in the present! It's difficult at first but it does get easier. Day 70 for me.

You're doing the right thing.

Done4Ever

Easier said then done, especially if recent past

fini

hey Done,
yes, it is all easier said than done. as you say.

if you want this done, as in DO-ne, you will need to DO.

no way around that, no matter which way you choose.