How many day one
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,378
Originally Posted by Jjb2018 
Yes I am sir
Im more active in newcomers thread.
Thanks for asking.what kinds of people are here by the way seems mostly are agressive and pushy... is this seniors group? For now ill just stay at newcomers i found more people that i can follow thru at my stage and i enjoy it..i need more understanding on how this things work slowly but surely this time i dont want to pretend that i know what im doing cause im not all i want is to stay sober..
Im more active in newcomers thread.
Thanks for asking.what kinds of people are here by the way seems mostly are agressive and pushy... is this seniors group? For now ill just stay at newcomers i found more people that i can follow thru at my stage and i enjoy it..i need more understanding on how this things work slowly but surely this time i dont want to pretend that i know what im doing cause im not all i want is to stay sober..
I'm not exactly sure how old Wayne is - but even the straight talkers here have great advice JJB
There are a few nice 'seniors' in Newcomers too...
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 72
Originally Posted by Dee74
LOL There are probably a little more long term recovered people in the mix here in Alcoholism forum .
I'm not exactly sure how old Wayne is - but even the straight talkers here have great advice JJB
There are a few nice 'seniors' in Newcomers too...
D
I'm not exactly sure how old Wayne is - but even the straight talkers here have great advice JJB
There are a few nice 'seniors' in Newcomers too...
D
First of all thank you for being so supportive.. i guess this is for senior citizen? Or senior by sobriety? Hahaha i dont know...
Im still a baby in this process so ill just stay in my legue in the baby section im really happy here thanks for ur effort dee.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
there are no divisions here made by age or length of sobriety as far as where you can post.
as you say, you feel more comfortable with "newer" people when you are at the "stage" that many more are at in sobriety.
and comfort and relating because of identifying with others and their stories is important....equally important is stepping outside of your comfort zone
as you say, you feel more comfortable with "newer" people when you are at the "stage" that many more are at in sobriety.
and comfort and relating because of identifying with others and their stories is important....equally important is stepping outside of your comfort zone
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
One of the most comfortable places of my drinking career was the nut farm. I was 21, my group were mostly between 30 and 40, and the rest of the patients were wet brains, 50 plus. I felt right at home. I got on fine with the wet brains and the majority in my group. The only thing I didn't like was the weekly AA meeting, and I was in the majority there. Only two of the group seemed to get anything out of it. I found it more comfortable spending time with the others.
I guess I should have been more discerning in who I listened to.
When I left, two of our group went to AA and are still sober today some 40 years later. I went with the majority and opted for self reliance. We all drank again so I was in another majority. A year later, I was the only one still alive, which put me in the minority.
I went to AA. I met this man who 12 stepped me. He had recovered and knew what he was talking about. His life looked pretty good to me. The really stand out thing was that his friends actually trusted him. Wow. He gave me hope.
Then we went off to a meeting and I got to hang around in the rooms during the day, with other newcomers. Guess what, I related to the new guys. I was nuts and the people I related best to were also nuts. I could have got pretty comfortable there, and again I was in the majority in those rooms.
But I desperately wanted to get well, and somehow I came to understand that the people that could help me were those that knew how to get well. They were not nuts, I didn't always relate because they spoke about aspects of recovery I had yet to experience. They seemd pretty frightening in some ways, they had a way of looking at me that made me feel like they could see right through me. I didn't like that. It wasn't comfortable.
They didn't talk much about the drama of drinking either, which was my favourite topic of conversation since I didn't know anything else. They talked about hope, action, experience, results, faith, works, change, progress, spirituality, and how these were gained through the steps.
It seemed to me that a majority were not particularly interested in this stuff. This time, I stayed in the minority, chose who I listened to and acted on what I heard. I acted on Fini's advice above and found someone to help me through the work. I never drank again, and got a whole new life into the bargain.
I related to those with a problem but listened to those with a solution. That's how I got well.
I guess I should have been more discerning in who I listened to.
When I left, two of our group went to AA and are still sober today some 40 years later. I went with the majority and opted for self reliance. We all drank again so I was in another majority. A year later, I was the only one still alive, which put me in the minority.
I went to AA. I met this man who 12 stepped me. He had recovered and knew what he was talking about. His life looked pretty good to me. The really stand out thing was that his friends actually trusted him. Wow. He gave me hope.
Then we went off to a meeting and I got to hang around in the rooms during the day, with other newcomers. Guess what, I related to the new guys. I was nuts and the people I related best to were also nuts. I could have got pretty comfortable there, and again I was in the majority in those rooms.
But I desperately wanted to get well, and somehow I came to understand that the people that could help me were those that knew how to get well. They were not nuts, I didn't always relate because they spoke about aspects of recovery I had yet to experience. They seemd pretty frightening in some ways, they had a way of looking at me that made me feel like they could see right through me. I didn't like that. It wasn't comfortable.
They didn't talk much about the drama of drinking either, which was my favourite topic of conversation since I didn't know anything else. They talked about hope, action, experience, results, faith, works, change, progress, spirituality, and how these were gained through the steps.
It seemed to me that a majority were not particularly interested in this stuff. This time, I stayed in the minority, chose who I listened to and acted on what I heard. I acted on Fini's advice above and found someone to help me through the work. I never drank again, and got a whole new life into the bargain.
I related to those with a problem but listened to those with a solution. That's how I got well.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,027
Originally Posted by Jjb2018
Yes I am sir
Im more active in newcomers thread.
Thanks for asking.what kinds of people are here by the way seems mostly are agressive and pushy... is this seniors group? For now ill just stay at newcomers i found more people that i can follow thru at my stage and i enjoy it..i need more understanding on how this things work slowly but surely this time i dont want to pretend that i know what im doing cause im not all i want is to stay sober..
Im more active in newcomers thread.
Thanks for asking.what kinds of people are here by the way seems mostly are agressive and pushy... is this seniors group? For now ill just stay at newcomers i found more people that i can follow thru at my stage and i enjoy it..i need more understanding on how this things work slowly but surely this time i dont want to pretend that i know what im doing cause im not all i want is to stay sober..
part of what makes it easier for people to drink is putting drinking in a more casual light, an off hand "oh it's not that bad" attitude. That's what your addiction tells you every time sobriety starts getting hard, right?
In the newcomers you might have more people closer to that next drink. You're right, they will make it seem much less serious than it actually is.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 72
Originally Posted by Gottalife
One of the most comfortable places of my drinking career was the nut farm. I was 21, my group were mostly between 30 and 40, and the rest of the patients were wet brains, 50 plus. I felt right at home. I got on fine with the wet brains and the majority in my group. The only thing I didn't like was the weekly AA meeting, and I was in the majority there. Only two of the group seemed to get anything out of it. I found it more comfortable spending time with the others.
I guess I should have been more discerning in who I listened to.
When I left, two of our group went to AA and are still sober today some 40 years later. I went with the majority and opted for self reliance. We all drank again so I was in another majority. A year later, I was the only one still alive, which put me in the minority.
I went to AA. I met this man who 12 stepped me. He had recovered and knew what he was talking about. His life looked pretty good to me. The really stand out thing was that his friends actually trusted him. Wow. He gave me hope.
Then we went off to a meeting and I got to hang around in the rooms during the day, with other newcomers. Guess what, I related to the new guys. I was nuts and the people I related best to were also nuts. I could have got pretty comfortable there, and again I was in the majority in those rooms.
But I desperately wanted to get well, and somehow I came to understand that the people that could help me were those that knew how to get well. They were not nuts, I didn't always relate because they spoke about aspects of recovery I had yet to experience. They seemd pretty frightening in some ways, they had a way of looking at me that made me feel like they could see right through me. I didn't like that. It wasn't comfortable.
They didn't talk much about the drama of drinking either, which was my favourite topic of conversation since I didn't know anything else. They talked about hope, action, experience, results, faith, works, change, progress, spirituality, and how these were gained through the steps.
It seemed to me that a majority were not particularly interested in this stuff. This time, I stayed in the minority, chose who I listened to and acted on what I heard. I acted on Fini's advice above and found someone to help me through the work. I never drank again, and got a whole new life into the bargain.
I related to those with a problem but listened to those with a solution. That's how I got well.
I guess I should have been more discerning in who I listened to.
When I left, two of our group went to AA and are still sober today some 40 years later. I went with the majority and opted for self reliance. We all drank again so I was in another majority. A year later, I was the only one still alive, which put me in the minority.
I went to AA. I met this man who 12 stepped me. He had recovered and knew what he was talking about. His life looked pretty good to me. The really stand out thing was that his friends actually trusted him. Wow. He gave me hope.
Then we went off to a meeting and I got to hang around in the rooms during the day, with other newcomers. Guess what, I related to the new guys. I was nuts and the people I related best to were also nuts. I could have got pretty comfortable there, and again I was in the majority in those rooms.
But I desperately wanted to get well, and somehow I came to understand that the people that could help me were those that knew how to get well. They were not nuts, I didn't always relate because they spoke about aspects of recovery I had yet to experience. They seemd pretty frightening in some ways, they had a way of looking at me that made me feel like they could see right through me. I didn't like that. It wasn't comfortable.
They didn't talk much about the drama of drinking either, which was my favourite topic of conversation since I didn't know anything else. They talked about hope, action, experience, results, faith, works, change, progress, spirituality, and how these were gained through the steps.
It seemed to me that a majority were not particularly interested in this stuff. This time, I stayed in the minority, chose who I listened to and acted on what I heard. I acted on Fini's advice above and found someone to help me through the work. I never drank again, and got a whole new life into the bargain.
I related to those with a problem but listened to those with a solution. That's how I got well.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 72
Originally Posted by Stayingsassy
Haha. We are all ages over here. But we take alcoholism very seriously and we do push sobriety.
part of what makes it easier for people to drink is putting drinking in a more casual light, an off hand "oh it's not that bad" attitude. That's what your addiction tells you every time sobriety starts getting hard, right?
In the newcomers you might have more people closer to that next drink. You're right, they will make it seem much less serious than it actually is.
part of what makes it easier for people to drink is putting drinking in a more casual light, an off hand "oh it's not that bad" attitude. That's what your addiction tells you every time sobriety starts getting hard, right?
In the newcomers you might have more people closer to that next drink. You're right, they will make it seem much less serious than it actually is.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 72
Originally Posted by Gottalife
One of the most comfortable places of my drinking career was the nut farm. I was 21, my group were mostly between 30 and 40, and the rest of the patients were wet brains, 50 plus. I felt right at home. I got on fine with the wet brains and the majority in my group. The only thing I didn't like was the weekly AA meeting, and I was in the majority there. Only two of the group seemed to get anything out of it. I found it more comfortable spending time with the others.
I guess I should have been more discerning in who I listened to.
When I left, two of our group went to AA and are still sober today some 40 years later. I went with the majority and opted for self reliance. We all drank again so I was in another majority. A year later, I was the only one still alive, which put me in the minority.
I went to AA. I met this man who 12 stepped me. He had recovered and knew what he was talking about. His life looked pretty good to me. The really stand out thing was that his friends actually trusted him. Wow. He gave me hope.
Then we went off to a meeting and I got to hang around in the rooms during the day, with other newcomers. Guess what, I related to the new guys. I was nuts and the people I related best to were also nuts. I could have got pretty comfortable there, and again I was in the majority in those rooms.
But I desperately wanted to get well, and somehow I came to understand that the people that could help me were those that knew how to get well. They were not nuts, I didn't always relate because they spoke about aspects of recovery I had yet to experience. They seemd pretty frightening in some ways, they had a way of looking at me that made me feel like they could see right through me. I didn't like that. It wasn't comfortable.
They didn't talk much about the drama of drinking either, which was my favourite topic of conversation since I didn't know anything else. They talked about hope, action, experience, results, faith, works, change, progress, spirituality, and how these were gained through the steps.
It seemed to me that a majority were not particularly interested in this stuff. This time, I stayed in the minority, chose who I listened to and acted on what I heard. I acted on Fini's advice above and found someone to help me through the work. I never drank again, and got a whole new life into the bargain.
I related to those with a problem but listened to those with a solution. That's how I got well.
I guess I should have been more discerning in who I listened to.
When I left, two of our group went to AA and are still sober today some 40 years later. I went with the majority and opted for self reliance. We all drank again so I was in another majority. A year later, I was the only one still alive, which put me in the minority.
I went to AA. I met this man who 12 stepped me. He had recovered and knew what he was talking about. His life looked pretty good to me. The really stand out thing was that his friends actually trusted him. Wow. He gave me hope.
Then we went off to a meeting and I got to hang around in the rooms during the day, with other newcomers. Guess what, I related to the new guys. I was nuts and the people I related best to were also nuts. I could have got pretty comfortable there, and again I was in the majority in those rooms.
But I desperately wanted to get well, and somehow I came to understand that the people that could help me were those that knew how to get well. They were not nuts, I didn't always relate because they spoke about aspects of recovery I had yet to experience. They seemd pretty frightening in some ways, they had a way of looking at me that made me feel like they could see right through me. I didn't like that. It wasn't comfortable.
They didn't talk much about the drama of drinking either, which was my favourite topic of conversation since I didn't know anything else. They talked about hope, action, experience, results, faith, works, change, progress, spirituality, and how these were gained through the steps.
It seemed to me that a majority were not particularly interested in this stuff. This time, I stayed in the minority, chose who I listened to and acted on what I heard. I acted on Fini's advice above and found someone to help me through the work. I never drank again, and got a whole new life into the bargain.
I related to those with a problem but listened to those with a solution. That's how I got well.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Originally Posted by Jjb2018
What is the real meaning of wet brain and how do they look like?
They looked normal enough and I didn’t catch on for a while what was wrong with them. But I recall a couple of funny things happening when I first arrived in the ward. I was met at the door by this nice little old lady. The first thing she said was that after 4.00 she liked to pop over to the staff bar in the administration building for a drink, and would I like to go with her. I thought this was brilliant.
As I was being taken down the hall to my bed, I met Harry who invited me for a drink and game of pool in the upstairs bar. What a place! I thought, then I realised that I had seen the building from the outside and there was no upstairs. Neither was there a staff bar. These folks were living in a different time.
Then there was Ivan who was given a can of brasso and asked to polish the door knobs on the main door. This he did, then he walked about ten feet away, stopped, looked at the cloth and brasso in his hand, turned around and polished them again. He did this most of the afternoon until one of the staff noticed. The knobs were gleaming by this time.
It is a sad business really. I have seen a couple of people make the transition from a position where there was some hope, to wet brain. All it took was the loaded drink, and unfortunately we have no way of knowing which drink it will be.
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