Things to quit...
Redmayne
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Manchester, England, UK.
Posts: 1,543
Things to quit...
With just over ten years sobriety behind me, I still regard myself as being in recovery and like to reflect on where I was and where I am now.
Finding it useful every now and then to remind myself of things, apart obviously alcohol of things to quit, as if I'm not careful or 'ever vigilant' as it says in the book 'Alcoholics Anonymous' of becoming complacent, both with alcohol and myself and my recovery.
Finding I must quit,
1. Trying to please everyone.
2. Fearing change.
3.Living in the past.
4.Putting myself down.
5.Overthinking.
No doubt others who read this can add a few more, after all it's never to late to learn...
Finding it useful every now and then to remind myself of things, apart obviously alcohol of things to quit, as if I'm not careful or 'ever vigilant' as it says in the book 'Alcoholics Anonymous' of becoming complacent, both with alcohol and myself and my recovery.
Finding I must quit,
1. Trying to please everyone.
2. Fearing change.
3.Living in the past.
4.Putting myself down.
5.Overthinking.
No doubt others who read this can add a few more, after all it's never to late to learn...
sober style
Join Date: May 2016
Location: San Antonio
Posts: 2,381
I could do without the Diet Dr. Pepper, that's for sure. All those chemicals boiling around in there can't be doing me any favors.
To living in the past, I'll add running nonstop scenarios of the future, especially negative worrisome ones. Talk about wasted time and energy!
Congrats on your 10+ years sober, Redmayne! That's awesome.
To living in the past, I'll add running nonstop scenarios of the future, especially negative worrisome ones. Talk about wasted time and energy!
Congrats on your 10+ years sober, Redmayne! That's awesome.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
I was very lucky. My first sponsor kept telling me to stop projecting and I got it. That includes letting go of the past and my favorite saying is "let go or be dragged." After 26 years I still have the problem of isolating, it's a constant challenge. And I recently started Debtor's Anonymous since realizing I spent money like I drank: to feel better. Recovery never ends.
No Dogma Please
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: SoCal
Posts: 2,562
I've recently replaced the words "have to" and "must" with "want to." It's taken care of some related issues.
"You HAVE TO stop that!" is a voice in my head that's my mom. The secondary thinking is is that if I'm not vigilant and "let myself get away with it" my life will fall apart.
In reality that voice KEEPS me from doing essential things. My therapist asked me "and exactly how well has that thinking served you in your life?" The real answer is "not very well."
Try replacing the word "Must!" with "want to." It aligns your desires. The harsh, judgey critic doesn't really me where I need to go, I accomplish things in spite of it, not because of it.
1) Take care of myself first. I can better serve others when my own needs are met. Like putting on your own oxygen mask on a depressurized plane first before you help your kids.
2) Gently try new things. Observe that I don't die when I do a new task, even if's not done "perfectly." Note that nearly every time I finally did a scary new thing the outcome was BETTER than I thought it would be, and again, I didn't die.
3) The past cannot be undone. I can only influence future events.
4) "Musts," "Have to's," "oughts," "woulda/shoulda/coulda" are all self-defeating concepts. What doesn't work for me and what would work better?
5) Sometimes I just gotta do it. It's far easier to undo a misstep than to wait until the timing is perfect.
"You HAVE TO stop that!" is a voice in my head that's my mom. The secondary thinking is is that if I'm not vigilant and "let myself get away with it" my life will fall apart.
In reality that voice KEEPS me from doing essential things. My therapist asked me "and exactly how well has that thinking served you in your life?" The real answer is "not very well."
Try replacing the word "Must!" with "want to." It aligns your desires. The harsh, judgey critic doesn't really me where I need to go, I accomplish things in spite of it, not because of it.
1) Take care of myself first. I can better serve others when my own needs are met. Like putting on your own oxygen mask on a depressurized plane first before you help your kids.
2) Gently try new things. Observe that I don't die when I do a new task, even if's not done "perfectly." Note that nearly every time I finally did a scary new thing the outcome was BETTER than I thought it would be, and again, I didn't die.
3) The past cannot be undone. I can only influence future events.
4) "Musts," "Have to's," "oughts," "woulda/shoulda/coulda" are all self-defeating concepts. What doesn't work for me and what would work better?
5) Sometimes I just gotta do it. It's far easier to undo a misstep than to wait until the timing is perfect.
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