froscow

25 y/o dude here. Almost 4 months sober here. things are going pretty swell....eating healthy, sleeping well, family and friends slowly starting to trust me again. don't have any desire to return to old behaviors whatsoever.. but every now and then i kind of fantasize about having a nice glass of red or a cold one just for kicks...it's like something to do with booze is still deeply ingrained in my brain. complete insanity....how can i fantasize about something that has inflicted so much damage and pain upon my life..

i've been getting a bit lax with meetings lately too. that might play a part. need to give myself a good kick in the ass and start going more

Stayingsassy

Danger zone. If the fantasy comes up squash it immediately with a conflicting thought.

It's a common first step the addiction uses to get you to drink, don't let it snowball out of control.

RDBplus3

A guy with some good sobriety time shared in a meeting - a friend of his asked if he could ever imagine himself 'being able to have a glass of wine with dinner' ... he replied automatically ... Actually, it would be more likely he would be in a broken down car behind WalMart, taking the last couple chugs out of a bottle of cheap whiskey.
... then it would all be downhill from there.

Forward12

Go back to meetings ASAP. The AV is whispering nothings, it wants you dead, and nothing short of it.

WaterOx

Summertime is proving to be the worst and the fantasies led on by the AV are so loud I feel like I'm in a bad dream. It's honestly very difficult to think of the bad stuff, it seems all too far away at the moment.

Instead it's longing for BBQs, clinking of bottles with friends, romantic picnics at a local winery....all of it interlaced with "why me" and "why not" or "why can't I just..."

About the only counter- fantasy that I am truly hearing right now (you know like TRULY, and not just the grand standing **** I could say?) is that there was a time not long ago where all I could fantasies about was making it through one day sober. My fantasy was to stop drinking.

That was over 5 months ago.

TheSoberDude

I’m 28...and have had problems since I turned 21 in the Marine Corps. Anxiety, combat deployments, and overall stress didn’t help when trying to kick the habit. Exercise and a healthy diet has saved my life! The times that I did relapse, I too had the devil water calling my name. One beer won’t hurt...everything will be okay! I don’t listen to the devil on my shoulder anymore. I don’t even think about alcohol, because I have come to terms with the fact that drinking is no longer a part of my life, and it never will be until the day I die.

When you get the urge, go for a run or find something productive to do. Time will pass, and you will have made it another day.

timm84

I'm 33 but pretty much in the same boat - 3.5 months sober.

I also write for a living, so I definitely know all about romanticizing drinking. I really deliberately went hard at it for years because I thought that it made me a better writer.

It did not.

Remember the pain - remember the hangovers. Any time you feel the urge remember what you're like at your worst.

Cosima11

Well I'm 27 and it's been 8 months. I'm still not always great at following through on plans but when I fantasize now it's not about alcohol it's about the things I want to do and have sober that would never be possible drunk. Anytime a drinking fantasy pops up replace it with something positive you want to do/accomplish that the "drinking you" would inevitably sabotage.

Stayingsassy

This is a great strategy.

Drinking limits us in so many ways. What ways have we wanted to grow, or accomplish but weren't able to because of drinking?

Dee74

I always recommend folks re read their old threads - or someone elses.

Everyone quits for a reason, and alcoholism being what it is, thatose reasons will always remain current.

The worst thing any of us can do is the rabbit caught in the headlights thing - if there's a metaphorical trick coming, get out of the damn way...

Do something.


D

NYCDoglvr

Get thee to a meeting and share about your fantasies. Everyone in the room will relate. You're either going towards sobriety or going towards a drink. You've been blessed by four months, please take care of it.

froscow

lots of great advice here..thanks everyone. I especially like the one about revisiting my old threads....reminding myself what can happen if i repeat old behaviors....back in the winter when things were chaotic. it's like that alcoholic part of my brain tries so hard to blot out those memories and replace it with completly delusional thoughts.

tomsteve

give me a warm summer day and a lawn mower and i can think how nice an ice cold beer would be.
my past comes up and i laugh about one ice cold beer.

where ya at in the steps,froscow?

AnvilheadII

and i laugh about one ice cold beer.

exactly.....who in the hell drinks ONE beer? what about his 11 little buddies? won't they get lonely????

froscow, it's perfectly normal for former drinkers to think about drinking. it's kinda like what we do. you are wise to notice how your meeting count has dropped....that's fixable, just saddle up and get thee to one! or three!

least

I used to fantasize about drinking. But now that I'm a non drinker, I no longer do that. I know how it would end up if I drank and have no desire to go back to that hell.

Stayingsassy

I
Yes me too. Drinking is only darkness, and that is so much my perspective now that when people mention cravings I see it like they have a loaded gun.

Kinda the same really considering drinking and driving. Drinking again as an alcoholic is the craziest idea we could possibly have and also the most dangerous.

leanabeana

I'm currently 16 days sober and in rehab. I was talking to someone in there about missing alcohol like a good friend I had a falling out with. He told me I was romanticizing and to beware, but I think it's pretty normal. I think it's good to accept and be at peace with the fact that you're going to miss it, but also have a strong plan to make sure you don't go backwards. More meetings and more time on this forum is a start.

I also have to remember that alcohol was never a true friend, it was a true enemy masquerading as a friend.

MindfulMan

Play the tape forward of what that one drink will lead to.

Run through the pros and cons of drinking and not drinking.

That's what I do. It works for me.

I also ask myself what I'm getting out of that one drink. The answer is really...nothing. I don't even miss the buzz anymore, if anything, it sounds dysphoric.

MyLittleHorsie

I was listening to the radio and that riverboat song came on, really, really old. Sitting on a riverboat having a party...

Anyways I was like, I should smoke a joint. I was a daily smoker until my 30s. I quit when I married my husband. Then I thought, where would I even get weed. My son might smoke it, but pretty sure he doesn't have any. Hubby is like a blood hound. Plus his sisters are baby blood hounds as witnessed on a Sunday evening neighbourhood stroll when they began gagging, what is that it, what are they burning daddy it is so gross! I digress. Plus I would never ask my kid for some.

I started laughing at the absurdity. Reminded myself I am 42 and sure it was fun at one time, but not anymore. I imagine the same thing will happen with booze for the rest of my life. An absurd idea. My gf has been smoke free (cigarettes) for 15 years. She still has days she thinks... just one. Romanticism about booze. Like a Harlequin Romance sounds good but is so far fetched from reality it is laughable.

froscow

tomsteve: seeing as that devious addict part of my brain has been trying to romantasize my old behaviors, i'd have to say that i'm still working step 1 thoroughly.

just hit 4 months sober the other day. Whatever fake temporary pleasure I got from the drink can't even compare to the gifts of sobriety.